A fully revised and updated edition of the essential guide for men and women moving through the turmoil of divorce.
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"A common-sense, compassionate, human book about the crazy process that more than half of us go through. This should be required reading with all marriage licenses." -- Philadelphia Inquirer
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
105 of 108 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I bought this book at a low point in the divorce process, wondering if I would ever stop feeling depressed and angry, and thinking I was somehow a bad person for having those feelings. Imagine my surprise when I turned the pages of the book to find that I was NORMAL for feeling angry and depressed! Giving validation for my feelings, and taking ownership of them, gave me what I needed to master them and move on, standing up for what I needed in the divorce process and giving myself permission to cry sometimes. This book helped me become stronger and showed me that there can be a brighter future after divorce. I highly recommend this for anyone going through a divorce, especially those in "crazy time" whose feelings are not being validated. Divorce is the death of a dream, maybe in some ways worse than the loss of a loved one through a natural death, and it is okay to grieve. This book can help people cope with that loss, learn from it, and move on to a better life.
127 of 142 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book assumes that both husband and wife recognize problems and both confront the issues and each other, whether with the goal of reconciliation or divorce. But if your situation is like mine---my husband of 30 years just walked out forever without ever a clue beforehand, and since refuses to discuss any issue, and is determined to get a divorce and marry "her"---then what does this book have to say to you or me? Nothing. If you are a suddenly deserted wife, look elsewhere----this book will not begin to address your devastation.
39 of 41 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Divorce is for many people difficult because we are forced to consciously deal with OR avoid those areas about ourself, which may have been responsible for the breakup of the marriage. Through each emotional phase of the divorce process, which for myself may have started the day I met my ex-spouse, the author provides you examples of real life circumstance. Although I don't agree with all the themes of the book, clearly we each approach and react to the process differently. This book pulls no punches, so be prepared to agree and disagree, but most importantly read this only if you want to face yourself.
25 of 26 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I read this book about a year after my divorce and it was like watching a bright sun rise over a dark horizon. Abigail Trafford helps you realize that you are NOT crazy about the way you feel (no matter what that is) and that there can be a better "life after divorce".
Since reading this book the first time 4 years ago, I have given it to 10 people and have recommended it to many more. It's been helpful to both my male and female friends. The best and most meaningful book on the market to help you live through a painful experience.
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book was a tremendous help to me when I was going through an extremely difficult time and feeling crazy. It made me understand that everyone who goes through this experience will have some of the same issues to deal with. It helped me to understand how to deal with judgmental people who are ready to riducule you if you are the one who has ended the marriage and the vicious rumors that we all encounter. It also helped me deal with the fact that you do lose friends and it helped me realize true friends versus acquaintances. It has been over a year and I still rely on this book. This is a wonderful book who puts divorce in proper perspective and gives you a calming feeling knowing that the CRAZY TIME you are going through is normal.
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Ms. Trafford starts from the premise that in any unhappy marriage, the spouses are trapped in an unequal relationship. One is dominant and the other is submissive. If they cannot figure out how to escape from that imbalance, then they are deadlocked. I realized that not only was my marriage deadlocked, but my divorce negotiations were deadlocked as well. The same issues that made my marriage so insufferable were stopping me from consummating my divorce. This book has case histories that exemplify the lucid discussions about divorce. They explain how "crazy time" took hold of my life. I felt that Ms. Trafford was talking directly to me. She helped me to get out of my deadlock and into the resolution phase of my personal tragedy. I recommend this book to anyone who is trying to understand divorce.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I've read at least 10 books on separation, divorce, etc. Now at six months into my separation, I'm feeling "crazier" than ever. When I picked up this book, I knew it was exactly what I needed. It has helped me realize the normal processes I'm going through. If you only read one book on divorce recovery, this should be it!
26 of 30 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I read this book because it was recommended to my husband by his therapist. I found it extremely confirming to the person who wants the divorce, even encouraging. However, if you are on the other end of the spectrum and want to work out the marriage, it it almost insulting. I feel like it encourages divorce in an age where it is much too easy. It doesn't adequately touch on the devistation that divorce causes to the children and other person involved. It artificially shows the upside of divorce.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must
Some of the stories are scary but reading about others who have gone through the loss from a divorce is helpful.
Published 1 day ago by M. Pearsoll
5.0 out of 5 stars
Timeless
Well written, easy to relate to, and accessible to most. Even though this was written a while back the concepts are still timely.
Published 26 days ago by MPG
5.0 out of 5 stars
book
This is a wonderful book for people who are going through the Crazy Time of divorce, fast service and great price
Published 4 months ago by Mary
5.0 out of 5 stars
Very informative
I really needed this book at the time I bought it. I also like the recommendations you suggest after purchase.
Published 4 months ago by mmagma
4.0 out of 5 stars
good book
It is a very good book, and will provide useful information, which is often confirmed by other sources as well.
Published 5 months ago by Michael Stephens
5.0 out of 5 stars
I've bought so many copies...
If you're going through a divorce, this is the book you should read. All the way through it, I kept thinking, "Who told her all this stuff about me?!? Read more
Published 5 months ago by Ruth E. Rogers
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not for Christians
Book has some good parts, but some of her coaching and direction on how to heal did not meet with my value system.
Published 5 months ago by john
5.0 out of 5 stars
Puts in all in perspective....
This is the second copy I have purchased in the past ten years and it is just as helpful the second time around. A must read if you're feeling a little "crazy."
Published 6 months ago by Charlykins
5.0 out of 5 stars
Therapy in a book!
The process of divorce is hard enough to go through then add in the emotional and you can easily become a basket case. This book makes perfect sense when other things don't. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Love to read 4-16
5.0 out of 5 stars
This helped me.
I read this when I got divorced years ago. And it was so true and so helpful! I recently bought I'd again for a friend who is getting divorced and she too found invaluable in a... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Phyllis Pertnoy
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 27
books:
See all 27 books this book cites
2
books
cite this book:
- Crazy Time Surviving Divorce by Abigail Trafford in Front Matter (1), and Front Matter (2)
- After Leaving Mr. Mackenzie (Norton Paperback Fiction) by Jean Rhys on page 2, and Back Matter
- American Couples by Philip Blumstein on page 37, and Back Matter
- American Couples: Money, Work, Sex by Philip Blumstein on page 37, and Back Matter
- Surviving The Breakup: How Children And Parents Cope With Divorce by Judith S. Wallerstein on page 34, and Back Matter
See all 27 books this book cites
- Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce by Emily Doskow Attorney on page 355
- Not Your Mother's Divorce: A Practical, Girlfriend-to-Girlfriend Guide to Surviving the End of a Young Marriage by Kay Moffett in Back Matter
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