I would have given this book -100 stars (that's negative 100 stars) if that were possible.
I threw my book out, rather than have some other seeking person harm herself or her family by reading it.
1. I am a Christian.
2. I believe the Bible is divinely inspired.
3. I believe the Bible ordains wives to love, submit to and respect their husbands, and likewise husbands to love their wives, take care of them, and yes, sometimes submit to them in the healthy give-and-take of caring and considerate human relationships, especially Christian relationships (Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21).
That said, while this book tries to address how wives are to biblically submit to their husbands, yet the book is seriously and dangerously flawed in manner, approach, and teachings.
"Can a corrupt throne be allied with you -- one that brings on misery by its decrees?" Psalm 94:20
To sum up my objections briefly, I thought fiery darts and fear were supposed to come from the Enemy, not from within the Church of God, as in this book!
I cried at Mrs. Pearl's response to one lady -- Mrs. Pearl was full of put-downs and nasty accusations (while merely assuming the lady's motivation and attitudes) when a lady asked for wisdom for a very real problem with her husband. How mean and rude, and not at all like the Lord: "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
"Dumb-cluck", "leech", and I think "couch-potato" were some of the things Mrs. Pearl called the lady, when it was not obvious from the lady's letter that she was any of those things. From all we can tell from that letter, the lady had just asked a legitimate question.
Also, Mrs. Pearl preaches disaster and doom for a wife and her children if the wife confronts (however politely) her husband about his sin or suspected sin. "You'll be out in the streets," "You'll be homeless," "You'll always regret what you did when you see what happens to your children," etc. are the kinds of pictures Mrs. Pearl paints. Even for gross and terrible sins and even for gross and terrible sins done against the children.
However, the Bible says:
"You are [Sarah's] daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear,"
and
"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted,"
and
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."
If you look on just about any of the Christian spiritual, emotional, physical, and domestic abuse sites online, I think you will find listed as abusive Mrs. Pearl's teaching of "it's all the wife's fault." Unfortunately, people in abusive situations lose their ability to reason, to think clearly, to resist false accusations, and to discern abusiveness due to being worn down by what's regularly being done to them, and an abused wife comes to quickly believe: "It's all my fault. If I had only done.... If I was only like...."
Jesus came to seek and save what was lost! Let's not make bad situations worse by grinding the downtrodden and hurting into the mud more than they already are. Let's imitate Christ and HELP lost and hurting sheep into safety, not keep up the status quo because of bad doctrine! Let's balance the scriptural injunction of wives submitting to husbands with Jesus' blasting leaders for hurting those in their care, and telling husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Those commands are different facets of the Lord's truth in relationships, and when one or more facets is missing or faulty, we need to take care of of the whole situation carefully and wisely.
While it is true that the Lord carefully and lovingly brings suffering into the lives of his people in order to make us like Himself, it is also true that He leads His sheep into SAFE pastures.... Sometimes, coming alongside and helping the husband or coming alongside and helping the husband and wife are enough to create healing and safety. Unfortunately, sometimes not.
We would do well to avoid disturbing unnecessary descriptions in intimate areas.
I foresee REAL danger and LASTING family trauma and damage if wives follow her teachings. I foresee lives and families being destroyed. The teachings in the book are ONLY her opinions, that tend to match some other extremist Christian or "Christian" groups that the Pearls hang with, and I don't think the opinions are scripturally derived, or even nice.
Please check out sites, including Christian sites, listing common signs of abusive relationships and spiritual abuse, and commonly used tactics, dynamics, and teachings of such. Once a person or a group goes down the path of relationship abuse and spiritual abuse, even if independently from others who have done the same, it's surprising how similar they all end up looking and acting. It's especially frightening to see how people who hang together often end up going the same path and believing and teaching and doing the same things, for good or for bad.
Please find a book with wisdom and peaceful, gentle fruit instead.
"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."
God's blessings on your pursuit of biblical living.
