Customer Reviews

Creating a Healthier Church: Family Systems Theory, Leadership and Congregational Life (Creative Pastoral Care and Counseling Series)

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A Review by Eric F. Newell
April 10, 2002

An insightful understanding of interpersonal dynamics, this writing affords an insightful look at relations in the church. Using as a point of reference, the author describes two churches that meet a situation within the church from two opposite positions. Using the Family Systems Theory as a basis for the writing, Richardson tells that the dynamics of relationship, "specifically in the church, are based in cultural, structural communication, decision, and economic systems. These systems are fairly easy to change if necessary. The system most difficult to change is the emotional system." (p.29)

Using the model of a mobile, he speaks of the delicate balance with which it hangs. There will always be times of imbalance in the churches emotional system. "What is important is how these times of imbalance turn out. The out come as to whether they are positive or negative depends upon the action and reaction of the church leadership as well as the lay leadership." (p.30). Differences in these emotional systems are more difficult to address as persons begin to personalize the issues. "The skill for learning how to deal with these systems is the ability to be a good observer. Stepping outside of what we feel is happening and being able to see what is actually taking place."(p.31)

Anxiety can bring unbalance to the system. This is intensified in proportion to sense of threat that persons feel within a given situation. When there is the sense of not having control, the feeling that one does not know what is going on, there is a higher sense of anxiety. As the leadership is able step outside of the subjective to the objective side of the situation, they will be able to bring a sense of calm to people around them. Anxiety spreads from one person to another. It is the place of the leadership to as much as possible minimize levels of anxiety and create the sense that church is a safe place.

Apparent differences in people bring differences in the way that they relate to each other. To this the author tells that individuals have their own comfort zones. Abandonment and Engulfment are two terms used for the opposite ends of the spectrum of these comfort zones. As persons move up and down this continuum toward or away from the other person, there will be acceptance or rejection. Differences in others are met with patterns of reactivity. There is the pressure for sameness. Richardson in one of the four patterns of reactivity identifies this: compliance, rebellion, power struggle and emotional distancing.

In addition to ways that people act and react to situations, because of their own comfort zones, the author also identifies the triangles in relationships that can happen as a result of these differences which are allowed to because threats. "It is difficult for any two persons to maintain a one to one relationship for any period of time." (p.115) When one person has an issue with another, and first person seeks support against the opposing person a triangle is formed. "Generally triangles serve two purposes: (1) absorbing anxiety, and (2) covering the basic differences and conflicts of emotional systems." (p.116). "Whenever one takes a side in the triangle, regardless of how righteous the reason, they become part of the problem."(p.123). It is necessary to notice warning signs which could help to identify these possible triangles; "The best clue is our own sense of confusion. When you find yourself in situations that do not seem to add up, there is an issue that is missing. Another warning sign is when someone talks to you in a negative way about someone else in the church and you have not particular need to know."(p. 119)

Richardson's approach to those things that bring balance and imbalance deal with structure, systems, leadership styles and personal comfort zones. The terms used for the explanations of moving in and out of these different systems seemed to be a bit redundant. The strength of his writing however was his identifying and defining of the personalities involved in the given setting.

Ronald Richardson is a retired pastor and counselor who has written "Creating a Healthier Church" as an introduction to and explanation of Family Systems Theory and especially how such emotional systems operate in a church. The book begins with a description of a series of stressful events that (coincidentally) take place at two neighboring churches on a Sunday morning; one church reacts reasonably calmly to the events while the other church quickly sinks into a pattern of alternately attacking and withdrawing from one another. One can understand these events though an understanding of Family Systems.

While Family Systems Theory is complex and requires an understanding of many interlocking parts, Richardson does an admirable job of explaining the various components that explain why people act the way they do. His method is eclectic as he uses many object with which the reader is probably familiar (a mobile, the concept of wisdom, etc.) to explain the various motivations of people in church situations and the way in which these people relate to one another. Especially interesting in this book is a chapter on the relationship between birth order and personality traits-a topic not normally included in Family Systems books.

This reader found the book both well written, well explained, and helpful. Personalizing (via the above mentioned fictitious accounts as well as other stories) was appreciated as was the order in which various concepts were introduced. However, while Systems Theory was explained well, where the author is weak is his advice on how to conduct oneself within a System...yet the idiosyncratic nature of particular Systems make such a section difficult to author. I agree that self-differentiation (definition) and presenting a non-anxious presence is always helpful; the advice on how to avoid being caught in a "triangle" is also helpful, but Richardson seems to assume that most people in a System (church, workplace, etc.) will naturally just get along if it were not for all their outside stress. In many cases, this is simply not true as there exist people who genuinely want to cause disruption and hurt others...even in a church. Furthermore, Richardson would have done well to warn the reader that self-differentiation has the potential to cause a System to unite in its opposition to the "rebel who won't go along with what we want." Finally, Richardson's advice concerning when a person ought to leave a system (versus when to remain within one) would also have been helpful.

Yet in spite of my minor criticisms of "Creating a Healthier Church," I would definitely recommend it to pastors or anybody else in a church leadership position. It increased my understanding of the way diverse people operate and helped me to understand my own role within a church System.

A review of Ronald W. Richardson's book,
Creating a Healthier Church: Family Systems Theory, Leadership and Congregational Life.

Richardson does a fabulous job of applying Bowen's theory (family systems theory) to church congregations. He illustrates the differences between two congregations dealing with similar problems. In 1986, Richardson offered courses for clergy based on the Family Systems Theory (FST) after clergy reported how his application of FST was revolutionizing how they dealt and thought about problems within their own congregations. Yet, the most notable change that they reported was "their own role in relation to these problems" (22).

Richardson clearly states that his book is not about the one and only correct way for leaders to lead. Instead, he suggests that his book can be a tool to assist clergy in thinking about their function within their churches and how they relate to others. Leadership is any kind of decision-making position or role and therefore, FST is not just for the top clergy or leaders (20).
The questions Richardson addresses are:
1) What is happening when a church gets into difficulties and the leadership seems to be making things worse rather than helping resolve the problem?
2) How can we explains things going well at one church where leaders are able to avoid the emotional outbursts and turmoil that is common in another church?
3) What in our human nature including our strengths and liabilities, and in the way we organize ourselves in groups make things go well or poorly as we deal with difficult situations?

Richardson addresses these questions and offers the reader the following resources. First, he provides a theory about human behavior that will enable the reader to understand how situations can get out of control in the faith community, resulting in emotional outbursts and turmoil. Second, he offers a practical set of leadership ideas, guidelines and behaviors as a plan to prevent situations from becoming negative and instead turn out positive. Thirdly, he provides guidelines for how to behave in the midst of upsetting and conflictual circumstances. And, lastly, he gives personal steps so that the leader can become more positive and cooperative in assisting healing and developing a healthier faith community (20).

Richardson has framed the book specifically either for personal study or for group discussions. He has incorporated thought provoking questions at the end of each chapter, in order to guide the readers into an in-depth examination of themselves and their congregations.

Richardson identifies two unspoken theories of human behavior: the individual model and the systems model. In the individual model people have little sense of their interconnectedness, or of how their own behavior affects that of others. In the systems model, there is "a recognition of the connection between people. Where no one lives or acts in isolation, and we are all affected by each other's behaviors" (25).

One key to "functioning in a healthy manner as a church is for the leaders to look at the church as a system rather than as a collection of isolated people"(26). Thinking systemically is very difficult, because we are taught to think linearly, and systemic thinking is more circular. Richardson uses the illustration of delicately balanced mobiles to prove his point. "Any movement by any part of the mobile, toward or away from the center of gravity, affects the balance of the whole mobile. This is most true of the parts closet to the tope of the mobile (the leadership), and only somewhat less true of the parts closer to the bottom" (30).

While each part of the mobile is an individual component, it is still connected to the mobile as a whole. Richardson sees this as a metaphor for the two deep and basic life forces: individuality and togetherness. Although, these forces are at the core of our emotional system, they are not at the opposite ends of the continuum. Instead, they coexist within us, each having it is own level of intensity at different times. The togetherness is the force that drives us to want to be connected to and affiliated with others; whereas, the individual force impels us to become our own person, to become emotionally independent, and to act in ways that make sense to us.
What unbalances systems? Anxiety. Richardson says anxiety is different from panic attacks. Anxiety is threats of the unknown.

Anxiety is an uncomfortable feeling. Anxiety is less tangible and more amorphous than fear. And just like individuals, churches experience different levels of anxiety. Therefore, anxiety, collectively and individually, is a powerful force for the church and leadership to understand and deal with. Therefore, the task for church leaders is to slow down the process before it gets out of hand. Effective leaders help people minimize their levels of anxiety so they can accomplish their goals. Leaders do this by managing their own anxiety by simply bringing their own calmness to the situation.

I highly recommend this book for anyone in a position of leadership, for it is an excellent resource.

Richardson's book is one of the better introductions on the application of Bowen Family Systems Theory to congregational life. Well-written, it is thorough and substantive. A good first choice for those needing a solid introduction to systems theory--though it's probably NOT a good substitute for a good conference, workshop, or on-going group work on systems.

In Creating a Healthier Church, Ronald Richardson used the late Dr. Murray Bowen's family systems theory to present a formula for encouraging pastors and congregations to grow in spiritual health. Its application has to be intentional, but the formula is simple to express: Understanding + Re-Patterning = Spiritual Health.
The first key element, Understanding, is a process of education and self-analysis. The question that must be answered is: `Who am I as a member of the emotional family structure in the church?' The second key element, Re-Patterning, is to respond in a positive way to the question: `What must I do to re-pattern my interaction and relationships with others in order to promote harmony and well being in the church?' Then, as a result of such Understanding and applied Re-Patterning, the Spiritual Health of the church will flourish.
Richardson used as an inciting incident, a description of two churches who react very differently to the same bleak December flood and cold, which threatens the well being of the imminent Sunday morning worship service. In case #1, the people involved apparently worked well together to cope with the emergency. In case #2, the people reacted poorly. Richardson used the rest of his text to examine the: who, what, where, why, and how, which were illustrated by the very different reactions to the same crisis.
To be a "non-anxious presence" is one factor essential to the `Understanding' of what it means to be an effective church leader. Re-Patterning, then, becomes possible. Richardson wrote: "The goal of this work is for each leader to improve his or her own level of emotional functioning in relation to each other member of the congregation and particularly in relation to other leaders" (1996:177). The formula, now, can be re-written:
Non-Anxious Presence + Sensitized Emotional Relationships = Spiritual Health.
Creating a Healthier Church is practical, thought provoking, personal, objective, and clear. I found aspects of myself objectively held up in the light of truth, and was challenged accordingly. I found aspects of my church revealed in both the positive and the negative scenarios. I know there is still work to be done in the vineyard, if the harvest is to be bountiful. This book is insightful and timely. I highly recommend it.

If you've read, "Generation to Generation" by Edwin Friedman or are familiar with "family systems theory" you'll understand of the value of "Creating a healthier Church". Richardson playfully compares two Churches "Valley view" and "Third Church" to juxtapose healthy Churches and dysfunctional Churches. The main ideas in the book: How well do the people in a system handle two types of anxiety (Acute/Chronic), the problems of triangulation, and for the minister to be able to mess with the congregation yet have a sense of individuality or healthy separation from the group. As a Minster of just over 13 years, I recommend the book highly. It has been labeled as an introductory level book by several others, but I think even veterans will gain immense value from reading it. The book will provoke thought and introspection while providing applicable methods to better minister to the complex groups we work with.

Richardson clearly explains the basics of Murray Bowen's family systems therapy and applies the fundamentals to congregational life. Utilizing case studies of two congregations, one healthy and one dysfunctional, Richardson illustrates how family systems theory operates in congregations and suggests strategies on how leaders can best lead. Richardson helpfully covers many of the major bases. He explores how anxiety disrupts systems and how the leader best functions as a differentiated, non-anxious presence among the people. He helpfully explores the issues of closeness versus distance, pursuers versus distancers. He examines four primary reactivity responses; compliance, rebellion, power struggle and emotional distance. He clearly demonstrates the essential principles of triangulation and over and under functioning. He additionally explores how birth order contributes to family and congregational systems. While, no one person manifests all of the particular characteristics that are allegedly part of a specific birth-order position, some of the characteristics that Richardson elucidates almost certainly result from birth order considerations. Richardson details how congregations can do self-evaluation to explore and improve their systems. Each chapter concludes with helpful discussion questions that greatly aid the reader in applying the material. On balance, Richardson has succeeded in writing a relatively simple, readily applicable understanding of family systems in congregational life. I highly recommend this book.

Richardson has applied family systems ideas to churches in an accessible way. This book is great for those who do not have time or money for a conference. It is an especially helpful book for introducing these concepts to laity -- perhaps in places in which clergy are involved in ongoing systems work. All can speak the same "language" and have at least an introduction to the approaches of this insightful understanding of life and leadership in congregations.

Drawing on the work of Murray Bowen, Richardson presents a valuable discussion of the emotional system that is part of a congregation's life. The book begins with an introduction titled "When Bad Things Happen in Good Churches," in which he paints a portait of two different congregations dealing with similar issues. One of the portraits is laced with anger, hostility, resentment, and blame. The other portrait demonstrates responsible deeds and words on the part of all parties in the system. The difference between the two is stark, and Richardson attemps to describe in these pages what healthy congregations actually look like, and how a congregation can become one.

The book incorporates the learnings of family systems theory and applies them to a congregational setting. Richardson discusses anxiety, forces for togetherness and individuality, pursuers and distancers, fusion and differentiation, patterns of reactivity (including compliance, rebellion, power struggle, and emotional distancing), triangles, and leadership. One chapter is devoted to "signs of serious problems in a church" (which includes a section on overfunctioning and underfunctioning). Along the way, Richardson offers some reflection on biblical passages to support the theory, though it felt to me as if this material were added in later, after the bulk of the book had been presented; the biblical material did not feel integrated into the whole of the book.

One chapter is devoted to birth order and leadership style, drawing on the work of Walter Toman. Personally, I have not found Toman's work as helpful (or as "on-target") as I have found Bowen's family systems theory.

The final two chapters, which are very helpful, are devoted to "assessing your congregation's emotional system" and "becoming a better leader" (which includes a discussion about self-differentiation and the negative reactions that differentiation usually leads to, initially).

All in all, this is a very helpful book. I found it to be a useful summary of what I had learned about family systems theory and its applicability to congregational settings from other writers, notably Edwin Friedman. Richardson does not write with the wit and passion that Friedman writes with, making this book to be somewhat more bland, but Richardson's book may be more organized than Friedman's books are. After soaking in Friedman, I did not find much here that was new. Also, if I hadn't soaked in Friedman, I'm not sure I would have fully grasped the power of the model that Richardson offers. This is a very helpful book; I just wish that reading it were a bit more exciting!

This book from the Creative Pastoral Care and Counseling Series is one of the most understandable sources on family systems in congregational life. It is particularly helpful in describing the kind of leadership that is necessary for congregations to be healthy emotional systems. Also of special value is Richardson's discussion of birth order and leadership style, which demonstrates that one's position in his/her family of origin influences leadership styles in the church. There is also a list of questions that help a church leader to assess the emotional strength of a congregation and suggestions on how to move toward a less anxious leadership posture.