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128 of 150 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Don't believe the negative, July 30, 2006
This review is from: Creative Correction (Focus on the Family Book) (Hardcover)
I am bothered by how many people pull small sections of the book out and twist it to make it sound like abuse but leave out the important part! For example: Many of the negative reviews talk about making a child stand alone in a room for hours. NEVER does it say that. Her point is when kids argue about bedtime and start to whine and refuse to let them stay up - but they need to stand alone in the room and as long as they stand there they can stay up. The child is now forced with a choice-obey and go to bed or stand alone in a room. Trust me, they won't stand alone there for very long - definitely not all night. They are being taught that there is consequences to there decisions and actions that they take. They have also brought up handcuffing kids who are fighting together....and how horrible it is that she suggests this and it's abuse....what they're not putting in their reviews is that she says to use TOY handcuffs and the object lesson is that they learn to WORK TOGETHER while handcuffed to do minor chores or to eat or to do simple tasks - causing them to learn to work to complete the task together. Let's face it - siblings fight - for no reason and sometimes just because. They also mention the mall - where she tells them to "walk backwards", etc. What they leave out is that she's teaching them obedience that may one day save their life. And to a kid - doing stuff like this in a mall is a total blast and a fun game! They need to get their "adult" views out of it. How would this save their lives? If they've learned to obey without question on basic things - they will obey without question say if they have a brown recluse spider (very deadly) on them and you need them to stop immediately, obey to the letter when you tell them to "stop, do not move a muscle". Or you hear a rattlesnake and you need to find it before moving. Or your somewhere and gunshots ring out and you need them to drop to the floor, or an earthquake hits and you need them to listen to you and obey immediately. What you don't want in these situations is a kid who starts to whine, bargain, ask why, keep walking, not listen etc. Don't like the "curve" of the "no, you can't go to the bathroom?" THEN DON'T DO THAT PART! I don't. But teaching children to obey without question is a good thing (it has saved us a lot of battles at bedtime, teethbrushing, homework etc)
Her methods are teaching kids that family is important, words hurt and that they need to work together not fight with each other. I guess the negative reviewers did not want to mention that part because it would counter what they were trying to do - keep you from buying the book. Is everything in this book for everybody? Of course not - i've yet to read a book (besides the Bible) that will work for everyone. Some of her creative ideas have had a miraculous outcome with my son - and it was immediate. I get angry less, he acts better and thinks before he acts, is repentant immediately when he knows he acted badly - and is a joy to be around. We do not have a lack of babysitters because my kids are well behaved, helpful children who are learning to put God first and to think about what they do and say. In fact, we have friends and family who argue over who gets our kids when my husband and I go away for a weekend or date night. Does this book advocate abuse? NO WAY. It advocates correction when warranted, spiritual guidance constantly, scripture memorization (God tells us to hide His word in our hearts) and realizing the consequences of their choices and actions - good and bad.
In the world today kids are allowed to run the household and are obese, over-caffienated, watch too much tv, play video games all day, and show a complete lack of respect for their elders and parents. Let's face it - the current methods are not working. Don't let the negative reviews scare you. Read the book - the whole book - not just the sections. Try a few, take what works, toss what doesn't. All I know is I enjoy using the creative ideas to instill wonderful lessons in my children.
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28 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
A conservative Christian mother who doesn't like this book, September 7, 2010
I believe children need boundaries, clear expectations, clear communication, and parents who won't "give in" or back down or be lazy or spoil them. I am a conservative Christian mother who is yearning to raise my children with a firm but loving hand, and to communicate with them as the people created in God's image that they are.
There are times that I do come up with "creative" ideas for my kids. Right now I have a rewards poster on the wall, wherein they color more squares and get closer to little goals, if they complete their morning chores on time, and well. Last week, My daughter received a skittle for each piano song she practiced because it was so very difficult for her, having taken the summer off. So I'm not against **occasionally** dangling a carrot for the kids. Additionally, there have been times where my kids did get natural consequences. Taking one hour in the shower, and then being late to dinner, means my daughter gets no dessert because there simply isn't time for it. She is so long finishing her dinner, that we are through with dinner and dessert before she barely gets a mouthful.
BUT...BUT... I just feel like this book is a never ending series of either dangling carrots or humiliations. There are constant presents, awards, prizes, and gimmicks for every little thing she wants the kids to do. Conversely, the book has innumerable ideas for shaming, humiliating, annoying and embarrassing kids with "creative" ideas to correct their behavior. Again, these are not "natural consequences." They are a constant merry go round of weird and unusual ways to frustrate the child. It seems rather controlling to me.
There are better Christian parenting books out there...Don't Make Me Count to Three, Hints on Child Training, and "Get Rid of whining, complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids" are all good options to consider.
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20 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Alternative to Ye Olde Spanking..., February 28, 2008
First off I'd like to say that yes, there is a chapter on corporal punishment, but Lisa totally tells you to take it or leave it as you see fit!
That being said, my opinion of this book is that 95% of it is devoted to giving parents ALTERNATIVES TO YE OLDE SPANKING. Lisa encourages parents to go for the heart of their child, teaching kids how to make choices and how to live with both positive and negative consequences. This comes in handy when they suddenly hit adulthood and MUST pay taxes and MUST face both the positive and negative consequences at work (as well as in their personal lives).
All in all, I find it a well-written, entertaining, encouraging book that permits me to lay a choice before my children (would you like to put your plate in the dishwasher and earn 5 cents, or leave it on the table and pay mommy 5 cents to put it up for you?), and let them choose!
A.L. Travis
Author of The Pillar of Light: The Legends of Milana Series
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