I am reviewing this book as a student in an Early Childhood Education program. For my guidance class, I was asked to choose and review two resources for parents or teachers on the subject of child guidance strategies. I went to the library and brought home a stack of books. Because of it's friendly title, I chose to read this one first.
This book is proof that you should never judge a book by its cover.
Even though during and after reading this book I was utterly incensed, I decided to do my review for class over it anyway. I just could not hold back my opinion. I want to share with anyone thinking of buying this book a portion of the paper I wrote for class. For the paper, I was asked to include both pros and cons for the resource, and so I will list both here. I have included APA citations, so that you can see that I am not "twisting" the author's words. You are free to look it up for yourself.
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Summary of Resource
This book is about using different kinds of corrections for children's misbehaviors. The author writes in memoir style, describing situations she has encountered with her own children. She intersperses these anecdotes with lists of appropriate corrections for the behavior described. These lists are separated into "Toolboxes" based upon the category of misbehavior.
What are the Pros of the book?
This book has some good information in it. The trouble is, one has to pick through the haystack to find the needle. There are a few suggestions that would be appropriate for correcting a child's behavior. For instance, in one tiny page and a half segment, she describes how she taught her children to practice obedience. The youngest boy had the problem of not wanting to stop playing and come when called. So the author taught him to "argue" respectfully (i.e. saying, "May I please have more time?" rather than "No! I'm playing a game!") [138]. Although this seems like a good bit of information, the author neglects to expand upon it. She does not go into detail on the techniques she used to teach her son to do this. Without this information, the reader is left in the dark and is unable to discern whether this is appropriate correction or not. I also feel the need to point out that in the very next paragraph, the author completely dissolves this particular piece of good advice by stating that sometimes she likes to throw her children a "curve", by "say[ing] no to some reasonable request, like "May I go to the bathroom?" [139].
What are the cons of the book?
In order to fully describe all of the things I feel are wrong about this book, I would have to write another one of equal page length. The entire time I was reading this book, I found myself growing more and more upset with the author. Some of the corrections she suggests are cruel at best, and could almost be considered abusive. For instance, to correct a child who has been caught playing with matches, the author suggests the following: "[...] take a few things that are important to him, like a couple of his baseball cards or some of her Barbie doll clothes, and burn them in a safe place. Remind your child [...] if he accidentally caught the house on fire, it not only would burn all his stuff, but possibly his family as well" [161]. This small paragraph halfway through the book left me completely horrified and disgusted. This author clearly does not understand the mind of a child. While her intended point is clear to herself, and possibly to other adults, a child will interpret her message this way: "I am bigger than you, and you have made me angry. So now I am going to take away something you love." This made me want to write an email to the author with the headline: "If playing with matches is not appropriate behavior, then WHY ARE YOU MODELING IT?!"
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You will notice that in my citations, I have PURPOSEFULLY taken out portions where the author uses scripture, or, more often, twisted dogma to justify the "corrections" she suggests. I have done this because I would like for my negative review to be about the parenting information the author offers, not about her moral code. I am NOT in ANY WAY antagonizing this book because of its Christian base.
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I would very much recommend any parent (especially the author of this book) to acquire a copy of the textbook I used in my guidance class:
Guidance of Young Children (with MyEducationLab) (8th Edition)I also reviewed, for this assignment, another excellent book, geared more towards parents than teachers:
How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!