Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers [Hardcover]

Ted Simendinger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2000

Critters is a very funny humor book with 35 sports and travel-related short stories from all around the world.

Stories include people such as golfer Tiger Woods, baseball stars Nolan Ryan, Randy Johnson and Cal Ripken, Jr. -- plus places such as Beijing (China), Moscow (Russia), Key West and the Caribbean. Stories also include calamaties caused by a myriad of animals, both wild and domestic: pets, camels, giants sharks, mountain trout, raccoons, skunks, etc.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Critters is a lot of fun -- read it, enjoy it, and pass it on." -- Steve Cauthen, Hall of Fame jockey and 1978 Triple Crown winner

"Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers is a lot of fun for anyone who enjoys sports or the outdoors." -- Bill Hanzlik, long-time NBA player and coach

From the Inside Flap

This book is the truth, the whole truth and nothing BUT the truth except for the parts the author made up to protect the guilty. Critters is a great read for anyone who loves sports, the outdoors, animals or any combination thereof.

The author, a former comic, comedy writer, and newspaperman, has stacked atop each other 35 stories from around the world. The stories will keep you laughing, plus make you the envy of all other airplane passengers when you chuckle out loud at something besides the look of your mystery meat on your in-flight dinner tray.

The author has also been -- at one time or another -- a butcher, salesman, and sales trainer. He's also played amateur baseball around the world and laughingly writes about teammates of questionable talent in exotic locales like Moscow and Beijing.

Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers is just that -- funny stories from the Great Outdoors, spiced with random trail crossings with eccentrics of a lifetime.

Read about The Woman Who Knocked Herself Out Dancing, Bonefish Lem, The Camel Trainer, and the Little Old Man & The Great Big Shark. Visit pristine locales like New Zealand. Feel the crushing enormity of China -- and a few chapters later chase the elusive bonefish while visiting a tiny speck of an island in the Caribbean -- tiny Bimini, Bahamas and its 1300 residents.

Visit Augusta National Golf Club during The Masters. Learn the truth about flyfishing for trout and learn to train a herd of wild deer to come when you call.

Read about the famous: Muhammad Ali, Nolan Ryan, Catfish Hunter, and Cal Ripken, Jr. Read, too, about Ernest Hemingway and his oddly unique herd of pet cats.

And read about the not-as-famous but just as unforgettable. Spend a Tuesday With Charlie Holland. Or learn why you might want to ask Santa for a pair of custom-fitted stove-pipe underwear this coming holiday season if you plan on visiting the Florida Keys.

Critters even features a chapter of pet poetry; written completely from the pet point of view -- about and concerning the relative worthlessness of the other pets in the household.

Critters also has tremendous educational value. Learn the Origin of Profanity; how to use a fetal pig to better your own life; and learn a secret that raccoons around the planet hope you never, ever, acquire.

And, in an emergency, this book can even be hollowed out and quickly made into a lunchbox.

The author was born in Philadelphia, grew up in Severna Park, Maryland and went to college in Jacksonville, Florida. He's since paid movers to move the same useless stuff to Ocala and Tampa, FL, Great Falls, VA, and down to Miami for 8 human years, which equals 56 dog years. He's now been in Denver since early 1997.

His family includes wife Bonnie, daughter Gracie, rescued greyhound Missy, goffin cockatoo Chaplin, amazon parrot Ed, Jackie the Cat, and 15 tropical fish who avoid learning synchronized swimming despite the author's most determined attempts.

Enjoy the laughter. Thanks for reading.

Enjoy the laughter.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 316 pages
• Publisher: Airplane Reader Pub; 2 edition (October 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0970240503
• ISBN-13: 978-0970240507
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,746,999 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Criiters, Fish, and Other Troublemakers, February 19, 2001

By 

KM (VT) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers (Hardcover)

Mr. Simedinger writes with a warm hearted style that makes you feel as if you know the characters. I particularly enjoyed the Tcktman and The Mattes Bros. The book was thoroughly entertaining and had me laughing out loud. Pure enjoyment! Makes a great gift!

5.0 out of 5 stars CRITTERS,FISH & OTHER TROUBLEMAKERS, January 9, 2001

By 

BRAD MATTES (New York, N.Y. USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers (Hardcover)

Its all about fun.Having a smile on your face while turning pages Laughing out loud to the constant sounds of shhhh. A dozen times I have read the story of "12 hats through LaGuardia" and a dozen times I have cried with laughter. Its a story I could relate to, its a story that makes you feel you were there.How about that cover, all I could say is my hats off to Mr.Simendinger

5.0 out of 5 stars A great read on the beach or on a plane..., December 15, 2000

By 

Andrew Thomas (Brecksville, Ohio USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Critters, Fish & Other Troublemakers (Hardcover)

A book written about the truly important things in life - friends, fun, and making memories. Ted Simendinger brings all of us into his most interesting world. I have not found many works that have been able to keep my complete attention during a five-hour flight or under an beach umbrella. This one does.