Customer Reviews

Crossing the Center Line

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Michael and Tish seemed like the typical happily-married suburban couple, both with good jobs, supportive inlaws, coworkers and friends, and varied hobbies. They had two boys, Brian 14 and Terry 12, both involved in school sports and running a lawncare business for summer cash, and a big ol' birddog whose antics kept them all laughing. All this changed when Tish decided to surprise Michael, who told her he worked late every Wednesday, with a visit at his office, and discovered him leaving for an anonymous sexual encounter with another man at a highway rest stop.

"Crossing The Center Line" gives a chillingly realistic and emotional look at the dynamics at work when a gay spouse "comes out" to the other. From Tish's feelings of betrayal and abandonment, to Michael's self-loathing and internalized homophobia, to the kids' initial reaction to cut him out of their lives, this powerful semi-autobiographical novel by a lesbian author, who left her own long term marriage under similar circumstances, doesn't pull any punches in telling it "like it is" about the emotional, financial and psychological impact of such a revelation. Michael and Tish take the length of the book to get on with their lives, deal with their emotional hurts and needs, and accept the fact that life will indeed never be the same again. They try new relationships that suffer from their inability to trust someone so soon after the breakup, and work out, through trial and error, the level of familiarity they want to maintain in their continued relationship with their sons.

This is the most outstanding book, fiction or non-fiction, I have read on this particular topic, and I recommend it highly for those involved in counseling or who know someone - "outed" or not - who may benefit from the revelations contained in the novel.

Jackie Calhoun's "Crossing the Center Line" takes the reader on a journey that is getting more and more press these days: Heterosexual marriages breaking up because one of the spouses is gay. In "Crossing...," Michael is gay, a husband to Trish and father to Brian 14 and Terry 12. When Michael can't continue living as if he is straight, his sons, some relatives, friends and co-workers put him through the wringer. On the other hand, his internalized homophobia is pretty good at putting himself through the wringer as well. As far as Trish is concerned, while the entire situation is difficult for her, she practices the most patience for it. Although there is no Cinderella ending, "Crossing..." does show how more understanding, acceptance and maturity is needed from people rather than a resistance to change.

This is a book that presents a realistic and emotional picture of a family turned upside down when the gay spouse "comes out" to the other. We are initially presented with what appears to be a happy family. Along with the husband and wife there are two sons, ages 14 and 12 and a family dog. The book does an accurate and moving depiction of the ensuing struggles each family member goes through. The book deals with the issues of internalized homophobia, feelings of betrayal and abandonment. I especially appreciated the in-depth and honest portrayal of the reactions from the teenage sons. Flowing through this moving story from beginning to end is the story of love in its many facets.

This book was both helpful and painful for me to read. The story was in many ways my story. I was married for 28 years and had three children who were almost grown when I "came out". A book such as this would have been immeasurably helpful for me, my parents and other family members, as we all struggled to come to terms with the changes in our lives some twenty years ago.

My wish is that this book would be required reading for all those whose lives are touched by families who are going through similar upheaval. This would also be an excellent book for therapists working with people struggling with their sexual orientation.