Customer Reviews

Crossing Over: One Woman's Escape from Amish Life

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(10)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

Coming from Amish and Mennonite family background myself, and growing up interacting with cousins in Kalona, it was very interesting to read Irene's story. I have always known that there were inconsistencies within the Amish culture, however, I was surprised at the severity of her father's treatment of his family. I was impressed with her courage to leave, yet also with her ability to maintain a desire to stay in contact with her family. It is obvious that she has an understanding of the concept of unconditional love even though this was not consistently modeled for her.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Irene and Ottie and was impressed with their honesty, love and unconditional positive regard they held for one another. Their book, "My Amish Heritage" is evidence of the hope that Irene holds in staying connected with her early life even as she moves on, evolving into a beautiful modern-day woman. Her heart is full of grace.

This book did not live up to its description. It is a very superficial look at the societal and familial forces used by the Amish to control the behavior of their members. I ended up feeling sorry for the writer, Ruth. She believes, quite erroneously, that she has escaped a repressive life in order to be with the man she loves. In truth, she is being used by a thrice-divorced man, old enough to be her father, who is too morbidly obese to hold a job. Really quite sad.

This was a book that I had to read for my Amish Culture class. Whilst I'll be the first person to say that the Amish are placed on a pedestal, I still think that the author seems be unable to say anything kind about the Amish. She constantly bashes the Amish way of life, even bringing up the lack of the word "love" in Pennsylvanian Dutch as a weapon to illustrate how unfeeling and callous the Amish are. I especially take offense against the word "escape" in the title. She could have chosen to leave the Amish before she was baptized into the church. Use of the word escape is just for sensationalism. The Amish do not excommunicate those who leave before they are baptized into the church. Also, she brought up a lawsuit against a woman who refused to serve her. I do NOT consider that something a woman "full of grace" would have done. If she were truly a good person, she would not have placed that woman into a position where she could be punished by her church elders. Also, doing nothing but bad-mouthing the Amish and making money off of her "X-Amish" background really just is too much. Is it any wonder that other church districts other than her own would not want their people to interact with her? Other people leave the Amish and manage to interact amicably with them, I don't know why she has to drag them all through the dirt. I would NOT read anything else by this woman. Not all the Amish are monsters, and not all of them are saints on earth. If you want to learn more about the Amish, Amish Society by Hostetler would be a MUCH better choice.

It's difficult to not come to the conclusion after reading this book that the author is a confused, naive and, unfortunately, also very insincere. She claims that this book was written merely to inform others about her life and to help others in the same predicament. Moreover, she claims to love both her father and mother, and to cherish her Amish heritage. Yet what we really find in this book is quite the opposite.

The author clearly has serious issues with her father, and goes to great lengths to paint the unflattering picture of man who is supposedly uncompromising in his convictions, physically and mentally abusive, and a hypocrite to boot. This seems to extend to her brothers as well, but she is decidedly less specific in this respect.

On the other hand, her mother and sister are portrayed as faultlessly good and caring people, victims in every respect of a rigid and oppressive society.

From an early age, as a tomboy, she claims that she didn't want to conform to the expectations that the Amish have for women; first she rebelled by trying to be better than the boys, but eventually he disillusionment grew to the point where she had to get away.

But how?

Well, that's where good old--twice her age old--Ottie Garrett comes into the picture. For some reason, this rotund man had managed to get close enough to the Amish where he was trusted to the extent that he could essentially make a living from exploiting them. Whether it was through the publishing of books about the Amish or by ferrying the Amish around in his van, he really seems to have had a knack for making money off of these passive and peaceful people.

Yet Ottie seems to have a profound disdain for these very same Amish, and whenever he was driving some of them somewhere he would use the opportunity to berate them on religious matters and pointedly criticize them for their firm belief in non-violence. Why they tolerated him is beyond me, but they did, and eventually the time came when he and the author crossed paths.

The whole nature of their love affair is a little strange to me. She tries to make it sound as though it was a match-made-in-heaven, but it seems to me that the underlying motives were decidedly more pragmatic. She wanted out of the Amish culture, and he was one of the only outsiders she had contact with; he, aging, obese and three-times divorced, wanted something decidedly more naive and virginal for his fourth time around.

Well, one thing leads to another and she eventually makes her getaway with him, and they embark upon their life together far from her family, yet seemingly never all that far from the Amish. While both seem to have serious issue with the "plain folk," neither seems to be capable of deriving their income in a manner that isn't in some way exploitive of the Amish.

Which leads one to question the real intention of this book and the varacity of the things that she writes.

One thing that struck was the feeble attempt that the author makes in Biblically justifying her actions or criticisms of the Amish. In particular was her use of a verse that she claims refutes the Amish belief in non-violence; yet taken in context, this verse, although containing the words "blood" and "sword," does nothing of the sort.

In the end, this book left me with a profoundly negative impression of the author and her husband and I can't help but feel no sympathy for them.

This is a sad and strange tale of a woman who leaves an oppressive Amish family and community for a morbidly obese, thrice divorced, unemployable man who is 25 years her senior. I was especially disturbed when upon escaping in his van, this knight in shining armor hands her an electric razor and tells her she must shave her legs if she's going to be his wife! The author is young, and still very naive about the world. I'd be interested in reading a followup story ten years down the road when, hopefully, she'll have developed keener analytical skills.

I read this book for a book club, and do not recommend it. It has no literary value, and does not even provide much insight into Amish life. Instead, the author gives only random recollections and gripes about the Amish. The book is loaded with filler--lots of excerpts of letters, blank pages, and wide margins to hide the fact that it has little content. Nothing about the writing is worth mentioning. The author leaves her life with the Amish to lead what sounds like a completely pedestrian and uninteresting life (living off of her older husband's disability pension). I cannot think of any reason to read this book.

I read every review of this book. I didn't want to pile on with criticism, but I have to agree with some of the reviewers who question her husband's intentions.

The author is extraordinarily naive, but likeable. I think it will take a lifetime to unlearn everything she was taught as a child. I feel a certain kinship with her. I was raised in a similar cult lifestyle until age twelve. By the grace of God, my parents saw the light & we all "crossed over" as an intact family. I cannot even imagine what it would have been like to leave and be shunned by your family. My heart breaks for the author.

There's a bad feeling I cannot shake about the book. The author portrays Ottie as her "knight in shining armor". He seems lazy, opportunistic and absurd to me. Perhaps it was just the way the book was written, but he didn't seem like any hero.

I wish the author all the best. I hope she can find healing and forgiveness with her family. In the end, our relationships with our family and our friends are all we have on this side of Heaven.

I was extremely disappointed with this book. [...]the author seems to indict all Amish based on just her experience of having a terrible father.

I think that almost any family would be distressed if their daughter ran off with an overbearing, unemployed, twice divorced man double her age that uses her for physical pleasures and to profit off of her Amish experiences. I was appalled that her husband-to-be told her the first night they were together that if she came down to his room he would be "having her." And they proceeded to have sex out of wedlock that night. Also, that his first concern once she "escaped" with him was that she shave her legs.

I am sure that she had legitimite reasons for wanting to leave the fold. However, there are many ways of doing so and in this case it seems as though she has jumped out of the frying pan into the fire.

Nonetheless, it was interesting to read one person's story. I hope that her life is more peaceful now.

This book was not at all what I expected and I don't recommend it for anyone looking to get a glimpse into the Amish lifestyle.

Irene Garrett's extraordinary new book 'Crossing Over' illuminates the hidden issues that comprise the underlying conflicts in one of America's most romantic minority communities, the Amish, or Plain People. As an excellent expansion on Irene and Ottie Garrett's first book 'True Stories of X-Amish' it explains in true detail where many of the sorrows and problems lie for two special groups--the young and the women--that are commonly found in many closed patriarchal bible-based societies. It is a very personal narrative--a real love story in the finest tradition of Romance Novels--and its exceptional value for researchers and general readers alike lies in the wealth of interior detail that is offered on a special way of life that is so different from our own. Irene Garrett's clear vision for herself and for those she loves sings out.

Not well written. Boring story, not orderly. Kept waiting for more in depth information. Wanted to learn more, but was left hanging.