Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition [Paperback]

Kerry Patterson (Author), Joseph Grenny (Author), Ron McMillan (Author), Al Switzler (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 19, 2011

The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate

“[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time.”
—from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here’s how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations.”
—Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®

The first edition of Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to:

• Prepare for high-stakes situations
• Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
• Make it safe to talk about almost anything
• Be persuasive, not abrasive

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler are cofounders of VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and organizational performance.
www.vitalsmarts.com

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 2 edition (August 19, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071771328
• ISBN-13: 978-0071771320
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (375 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #304 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #1 in Books > Business & Investing > Skills > Running Meetings & Presentations
  • #1 in Books > Business & Investing > Management & Leadership > Negotiating
  • #2 in Books > Business & Investing > Industries & Professions > Human Resources & Personnel Management

More About the Author

ABOUT VITALSMARTS:
An innovator in corporate training and organizational performance, VitalSmarts helps teams and organizations achieve the results they care about most. With award-winning training products based on more than 30 years of ongoing research, VitalSmarts has helped more than 300 of the Fortune 500 realize significant results using a proven method for driving rapid, sustainable and measurable change in behaviors. VitalSmarts has been ranked by Inc. magazine as one of the fastest-growing companies in America for eight consecutive years, and has trained more than 800,000 people worldwide.

VitalSmarts is home to multiple training offerings, including Crucial Conversations, Crucial Confrontations, Influencer, and Change Anything Training. Each course improves key organizational outcomes by focusing on high-leverage skills and strategies. The VitalSmarts authors have written four New York Times bestsellers: Change Anything, Influencer, Crucial Conversations, and Crucial Confrontations. VitalSmarts also offers on-site consulting, research, executive team development, and speaking engagements.

www.vitalsmarts.com


ABOUT THE AUTHORS:

Kerry Patterson has authored award-winning training programs and led multiple long-term change efforts. He received the prestigious 2004 BYU Marriott School of Management Dyer Award for outstanding contribution in organizational behavior. He did doctoral work in organizational behavior at Stanford University.

Joseph Grenny is an acclaimed keynote speaker and consultant who has designed and implemented major corporate change initiatives for the past 20 years. He is also a cofounder of Unitus, a nonprofit organization that helps the world's poor achieve economic self-reliance.

David Maxfield is a leading researcher and frequent conference speaker on topics ranging from dialogue skills to performance improvement. He did doctoral work in psychology at Stanford University, where he studied personality theory and interpersonal-skill development.

Ron McMillan is a sought-after speaker and consultant. He cofounded the Covey Leadership Center, where he served as vice president of research and development. He has worked with leaders ranging from first-level managers to corporate executives on topics such as leadership and team development.

Al Switzler is a renowned consultant and speaker who has directed training and management initiatives with dozens of Fortune 500 companies worldwide. He is on the faculty of the Executive Development Center at the University of Michigan.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#24 in Books > Business & Investing

#32 in Books > Self-Help

#44 in Kindle eBooks > Business & Investing

#24 in Books > Business & Investing

#32 in Books > Self-Help

#44 in Kindle eBooks > Business & Investing

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

142 of 147 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars These techniques really work! August 22, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong.

I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive.

The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses.

My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later.

Using these tools has kept the dialogue moving forward, and we're very close to agreement, after just two more sessions.

The Crucial Conversations tools won't change another person who's determined to be unreasonable into a perfectly cooperative person, but they will give you a sane way to stay in dialogue and still hold the other person accountable for his or her own irrational attitudes and behavior.

I think this book is a must-have for anyone who has had a hard time dealing with conflict. I'll be reaching for it again, I know.

100 of 103 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars For when things get crucial September 16, 2011

By Liam Brown

Format:Paperback

We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is crucial. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation." As opposed to a casual discussion, crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

In this, the 2nd edition, the book ads access to new material including a video vault that illustrates each of the authors' techniques being acted out, new case studies, and new tools to help you maneuver effectively through crucial conversations. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes. You'll learn how to:

* Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
* Make it safe to talk about almost anything
* Be persuasive, not abrasive
* Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
* Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want

All in all a great book for developing advanced people skills. Another must read in this genre is Emotional Intelligence 2.0.

91 of 99 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, practical, engaging--an exceptional book! May 6, 2003

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.

The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.

The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.

I benefitted most from this book from a business standpoint and have found that applying these skills has made a real difference at work. I'm more courageous and more considerate at the same time. I understand people better but I especially understand myself better. I'm far more conscious and aware of my dialogue with others and I've greatly improved my skills and abilities to lead effectively. The bottom line is, I'm helping my company get better results and I'm far more effective personally. If more people in business were to apply these principles and skills in the frequent crucial conversations they have at work, they would make better decisions, achieve better results and do it all in a way that would build the trust and strengthen relationships. I couldn't give a book higher marks. Outstanding!