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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High [Kindle Edition]

Kerry Patterson , Joseph Grenny , Ron McMillan , Al Switzler , Stephen R. Covey
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (605 customer reviews)

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Book Description

"Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People A PAPERBACK ORIGINAL "Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have not only helped us to change the culture of our company, but have also generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history."--Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics A powerful, seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"What a profound and timely book! Here is the cure for arguments and misunderstandings; for mediocrity and frustration. This book offers a wealth of principles and skills that will dramatically improve your career, your organization, and your relationships." Stephen R. Covey

From the Back Cover

"Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have . . . generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history."
--Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics

Learn how to keep your cool and get what you want when emotions flare.

When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences; or read Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes that will amaze you. You'll learn how to:

  • Prepare for high-impact situations with a six-minute mastery technique
  • Make it safe to talk about almost anything
  • Be persuasive, not abrasive
  • Keep listening when others blow up or clam up
  • Turn crucial conversations into the action and results you want

Whether they take place at work or at home, with your neighbors or your spouse, crucial conversations can have a profound impact on your career, your happiness, and your future. With the skills you learn in this book, you'll never have to worry about the outcome of a crucial conversation again.


Product Details

  • File Size: 481 KB
  • Print Length: 258 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0071401946
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Up to 4 simultaneous devices, per publisher limits
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (March 26, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000OV1BNA
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #262,790 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
301 of 311 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars These techniques really work! August 22, 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong.
I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive.
The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses.
My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later.
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113 of 123 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.
The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.
The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.
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146 of 161 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For when things get crucial September 16, 2011
Format:Paperback
We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is crucial. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation." As opposed to a casual discussion, crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, critiquing a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

In this, the 2nd edition, the book ads access to new material including a video vault that illustrates each of the authors' techniques being acted out, new case studies, and new tools to help you maneuver effectively through crucial conversations. This wise and witty guide gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve positive outcomes.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars It is a great complement to Emotional Intelligence
Read it for any situation in your life- at home, at work, church, community, even just hanging out in social situations. It is a great complement to Emotional Intelligence.
Published 2 hours ago by JOSEPH R BOYER
5.0 out of 5 stars My conversation skills are forever changed...
This book is a game changer. It will be bring about many paradigm shifts on how you analyze people and the conversations you have with friends, family, coworkers, etc.. Read more
Published 3 hours ago by Adam Morgan
5.0 out of 5 stars It's really easy to skim of the sub headings and find the ...
It's really easy to skim of the sub headings and find the answers you are looking for in the this book. It was written with business in mind but it can help in all relationships.
Published 2 days ago by agaitan23
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Great learning tool to better I relationships
Published 2 days ago by Nina
5.0 out of 5 stars The Courage to Confront
Great book about having the courage to confront through communications. Similar to Sysan Scott's Fierce Conversations.
Published 4 days ago by Paul Pastore
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Quick and easy read with lots of examples, easy to follow and implement changes right away.
Published 6 days ago by Jacqueline Fisch - Barefoot Essence
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely an eye opener
This book brings a lot of thoughts and techniques to the top of the well. Mostly it encourages one to have confidence and not fear failure. I'd highly recommend it to anyone.
Published 8 days ago by Ryan
5.0 out of 5 stars As advertised
Good
Published 8 days ago by Patt
4.0 out of 5 stars Enormously Helpful in Relationships (Team and Families)
Conversations move life forward. They can also stop things from moving forward. Relationships end on conversations and begin. Teams are formed and broken apart. Read more
Published 8 days ago by Joshua Reich
5.0 out of 5 stars I love it
This is a great book. It was very helpful.
Published 8 days ago by Debbie Follett
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