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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales)
 
 
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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) [Paperback]

Brian David Bruns (Author)
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (102 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Travelers' Tales September 1, 2008
In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt — or in this case, the dirty water — on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they’re assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it’s not “passengers”). And of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange, and seemingly impossible, places. Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential reading for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.

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Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) + Ship For Brains: Cruise Confidential, Book 2 (Volume 2) + The Truth About Cruise Ships - A Cruise Ship Officer Survives the Work, Adventure, Alcohol, and Sex of Ship Life (Volume 1)
Price For All Three: $31.11

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  • The Truth About Cruise Ships - A Cruise Ship Officer Survives the Work, Adventure, Alcohol, and Sex of Ship Life (Volume 1) $9.46

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Bruns, founder of a successful software company, decided to follow his new girlfriend, who worked on a luxury cruise liner, and enjoy a high-seas adventure. His plan, to get hired on as a member of the crew, seemed simple enough, but Bruns quickly discovered he had no idea what he was getting himself into. This is a very funny, behind-the-scenes exploration of a cruise ship. Imagine a combination of Innocents Abroad and The Love Boat, with a dash of Peyton Place, and you’ll have a good idea of what to expect: lots of humorous fumbling about as men and women of various nationalities mold themselves into an efficient team without stepping on each others’ cultural toes; the glitz and polished shine of a seagoing luxury hotel (contrasted with the sometimes-disgusting living conditions of the crew); and plenty of shenanigans, including raucous parties and, of course, sexual escapades. Although this isn’t an exposé of cruise lines so much as a lighthearted adventure, readers planning a cruise will glean lots of useful information, and cruise veterans may find themselves looking at their familiar turf in a new, slightly suspicious way. --David Pitt

About the Author

Brian David Bruns lives in Nevada, USA.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Travelers' Tales (September 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 193236160X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1932361605
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (102 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #28,040 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Brian David Bruns is the Gold Prize Winner of ForeWord Magazine's 2009 Humor Book of the Year as well as the 2009 Ben Franklin Award's Humor Book of the Year.

A reborn adventurer, Brian has run desert marathons in Nevada heat, zip-lined over jungles in Costa Rica, parlayed with snake charmers in Morocco, entered the Pyramids at Giza, consulted the oracle of Delphi, anted up in Monte Carlo, and visited Dracula's house on Halloween night.

A professional artist and public speaker, Mr. Bruns spent three years on cruise ships delivering his amusing angle on art history to thousands. His first book, Comstock Phantoms: True Ghost Stories of Virginia City, NV, a blend of accessible history and amusing ghost-hunts gone awry in America's largest historic landmark, sold out its first edition in less than seven weeks.

Foolishly lured to sea in the pursuit of love, Mr. Bruns was the only American waiter in Carnival Corporation's 30 year history to survive an entire contract without quitting. This outrageous experience, both entertaining and enlightening, resulted in Cruise Confidential.

The author and his wife divide their time between Lake Tahoe and Las Vegas.

 

Customer Reviews

102 Reviews
5 star:
 (41)
4 star:
 (22)
3 star:
 (11)
2 star:
 (15)
1 star:
 (13)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.6 out of 5 stars (102 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

92 of 98 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Better than KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL, August 7, 2008
By 
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) (Paperback)
I don't intend to write a review rehashing the storyline or details; the official commentary on this site is pretty accurate. Cruise Confidential is a bit of an expose', but, unlike Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential, I did not infer any personal malice towards the industry nor its people. Enyoyable for most everyone, but anyone who has ever been on a cruise will best appreciate Bruns' story, not only of the long hours and hard work, but of the nature of relationships in the very special community made up of service workers on a large cruise liner.

This book does deserve special comment, because I am pretty sure that it is largely nonfiction, and it will fill an heretofore vacant niche in travel literature.

In my mind, a good book must satisfy three criteria. First it must be easy to read, second it must be a good story, and lastly it must somehow leave you changed for the better. Cruise Confidential hits the mark on all three criteria.

First, Bruns' writing style is natural and unstrained. I have read too many books during which I feel as if I am working at cross currents to the writing just to get at the story. Here the writing carries you easily along, and you can relax and float (this is about ships after all) along through the challenges, tribulations, and victories of his first year working in service for Carnival.

Second, it is certainly a good story, written in the first person. I started this book and stayed up much later than I should have to finish it. I haven't done that in a long time, and that speaks for all those qualities of writing and subject that combine keep you from setting it aside to finish later.

Lastly, though not a philosophical treatise, if you have ever cruised a large ship, ever plan to do so, or perhaps if you just watch cruising on the Travel Channel, this will substantially change how you view the service staff that appear, seemingly from nowhere, to take care of the customers' needs and otherwise are completely invisible for the rest of the cruise.

I was feeling a bit down as I came to the final pages, wanting the story to continue to his next career phase, but on that very last page Bruns suggest that more of this adventure may follow.
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great, informative book--and very funny, July 26, 2009
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) (Paperback)
If you've cruised before, are booked on a cruise, thinking about booking a cruise, or just wondered what it would be like to work on a cruise ship, please read this book. It's an easy read and very entertaining--but sad in a way. I couldn't help but focus on the lives of people who work under the described conditions. It certainly makes you stop and think how lucky we Americans are, no matter where we are on the social ladder. Brian's description of the work days, policies and politics on board made me shiver. I give him and everyone else credit for working under such conditions while giving such incredible service to the cruise guests, some of whom can be very obnoxious. I've always been a good tipper, but, boy, will I be a better one after reading this book. And, I've always enjoyed the smiles and great service of the crew, but now I'll realize how hard it is for them to do it. Only Brian could bring all of the hardships to life in such a funny, entertaining way! You laugh your way through the pages while you read, and then feel sad for the employees when you put the book down and think about it. Read it for the sheer joy of a good laugh and tip away when you get on that cruise!
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21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Cruisings 'Other Side'...WOW!!!, October 18, 2009
By 
Judy A. Harbaugh (Henderson, Nevada United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline: Where the Crew Lives, Eats, Wars, and Parties. One Crazy Year Working on Cruise Ships (Travelers' Tales) (Paperback)
WOW! What an eye opener! Cruising is our family favorite vacation so we sail whenever the budget allows. Over the years, we have 'heard' the stories of cruise employee pay, living arrangements/conditions, and hours spent serving the passengers. But, I can honestly say, after reading this book, I look at cruising in a whole different light.

The book was hard to put down. It was well written, with a good sense of humor in all the right places, and an easy style. I now have a whole new appreciation of the thousands of employees of the cruise industry that make my choice of vacations as enjoyable as they have been. I would recommend this book to any current & future cruise ship passenger. Especially those passengers that aren't as appreciative towards the ship's crew as they should be....and I have noticed far too many of those over the years. If you love cruising, this book is for you. The author offers great insight & a good story. Like I mentioned above, it will give you a whole new appreciation towards the cruise industry.....positive & negitive
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
crew bar, team waitress, team waiters, midnight buffet, restaurant college, hotel director, second seating, art auctioneer, crew party, ship assignments, first seating, sexy bitch, wine cart, crew parties
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New Orleans, Panama City, South African, Holy Cat, Happy Birthday, Typical American, United States, Puerto Rico, Mississippi River, Las Vegas, Gala Buffet, Carnival Conquest, New York City, Tattoo Goo, Montego Bay, The Great White, Groovy Grouper, Sunset Beach, Michael Jackson, Playa del Carmen, Gulf Coast, Black Sea, Paradise Island, Red Stripe, All Americans
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