Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men [Paperback]

Robert Weiss (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 2005

Robert Weiss, director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Santa Monica, California, avoids political and moral arguments and instead focuses on the clinical approach, asking the question, “Is your sexual behavior causing problems in other areas of your life?” Cruise Control leads men to a better understanding of the difference between sexual compulsion and non-addictive sexual behavior within the gay experience, and it explains what resources are available for recovery. A timely and important contribution to the body of recovery literature, Cruise Control provides understanding, empathy and encouragement to gay men seeking healthy sexual expression.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Rob Weiss, LCSW, CAS, is a graduate of Emerson College and UCLA and serves as the clinical director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles. He has appeared on Oprah, the Today show, and more. He has recently appeared on Oprah, The Today Show, Dat

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Alyson Books (July 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1555838219
• ISBN-13: 978-1555838218
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #727,546 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #67 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Recovery > Sexual

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

72 of 75 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gay Man Struggling With Out-of-Control Sex? Here's Your Guidebook..., August 30, 2005

By 

Daniel D "DJD" (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men (Paperback)

As a gay man who came out early, but never had any guidance on how to explore my sexuality other than negative messages from my conservative upbringing, I was like a kid in a candy store when I gained my "freedom". The marketers in my community promoted, packaged, and sold uninhibited, no-strings sexual encounters like cheap lolipops. The "perfect" man was found on every page in every gay rag, and presumably, in every bar or club. An so this is where I learned about sex. "Relationships" were relegated to a small column on one of the back pages sandwiched between "escorts" and "one night stands". After 20 years of being encouraged to run from problems into the bed of the next, new hot stud, I realized my life was becoming more empty and isolated. My routine was work/gym/club/sex. I worked only to pay for the gym, the clubs, and ultimately, the sex. I slept when I had a chance. The internet made cruising easier. I spent hours each nite "setting up" encounters, perusing dozens if not hundreds of men online before selecting one or a few for a hook up. I ate and slept only when I found the time, or when my computer crashed. I could not go on a trip without setting up encounters while there, or cruising the bars, parks, bathhouses, etc. The thought of a relationship only brought on feelings of hopelessness. So it was back to cruising. This was my life.

There are other books out there on sex addiction, like "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes, but NONE written specifically by a gay man FOR gay men. If you are a gay man of any age and have had questions about your sexual activities, or feel a sense of hopelessness about finding the "right" guy, PLEASE read this book by one of the leading experts in sex addiction!!! Or at least, find someone who has it, or go to a bookstore and browse it.

The extremists on the right want to completely strip us of our equal rights and dignity that we have fought so hard to get, and now it seems the tide is starting to turn in their direction, yet many of us have no idea how to pull ourselves out of the bathhouses and chat rooms to fight back, let alone form stable, loving relationships.

This is a WONDERFUL guidebook to help lead you down a path to a richer, fuller, more enjoyable life. But it is only a guide... you have to do the leg work.

GREAT BOOK!!!!

42 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Sexual Addiction is not about sex, June 29, 2005

By 

Dr. Joe Kort "(www.JoeKort.com)" (Royal Oak, Michigan United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men (Paperback)

I had the privilege of reading this book prior to its publication. It is time that gay men understand what sexual addiction is and is not. It is not about pathologizing sex. In fact, it is not about sex at all. This book explains this.

In the field of sexual addiction and compulsivity it is time we recognize how it applies to the gay male community. The author does a fine job on illuminating the issues gay men face who are sexually compulsive.

This book is essential for gay men as well as their partners to learn if sexual addiction is a part of their lives and relationships. I recommend this book to therapists who should understand how sexual addiction manifests with their gay clients.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Every gay man should read this, November 14, 2006

By 

Anonymous (Melbourne, Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men (Paperback)

As someone whose addiction only very slowly dawned on me - I knew I was unhappy and depressed but didn't really understand why until a friend told me about his substance addiction and how it went in six week cycles and another friend told me about his sex addiction - then I got the feeling that maybe I also had a problem. I had this book on my Amazon wishlist for months before I bought it - the act of buying it was an acknowledgement that I MIGHT have a problem and have to deal with it.

When it finally arrived I read it from cover to cover in an evening. I liked the way it looked at gay lifestyles from various angles and refrained from judging. I also found it very practical - for instance, the "30 day test" to determine if you have a problem with sex addiction. I went through the 30 days, and was convinced - I had a problem.

Since then, reading and acting on the advice in this book has been a lifesaver for me. I don't necessarily enjoy the AA approach it advocates, but found enough in it for me not to have to go to 12 step groups, yet still take positive steps to emerge from what has been a kind of hell.

And why every gay man should read this? In my community, sex addiction isn't even talked about. So to write an entire book about it - that's a great service. Buy it, read it, and pass it on.