Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men [Paperback]

Robert Weiss (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 2005

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, Founding Director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles and clinical sexual addiction expert avoids political and moral arguments to instead focus on the reality of being a gay man and a sex addict. The book raises questions for the reader like, "Is your sexual behavior causing unintended problems in your life?", while providing readers with useful insight, direction and support. Cruise Control helps both gay sex addicts and therapists gain a better understanding of the difference between Hypersexuality (sex addiction) and non-addictive sexual behavior within the gay experience. This book is a relevant, timely and important contribution to the body of recovery and self-help literature, Cruise Control provides understanding, empathy and encouragement to gay men seeking healthy sexual expression and intimacy - without the losses and pain brought about through active sex addiction. For all those gay guys who have ever said, "Well, it's just a gay thing" or "Having a lot of sex is what gay guys do" - this book is for you.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Founding Director of The Sexual Recovery Institute (SRI), Los Angeles and Director of Intimacy and Sexual Disorders Services for Elements Behavioral Health at: The Ranch in Nunnelly Tennessee, The Recovery Place in Florida and Promises Treatment Centers / The Sexual Recovery Institute in California. A UCLA MSW graduate and licensed social worker, Mr. Weiss is a multi-year trainee and colleague of Dr. Patrick Carnes. In addition to writing Cruise Control, Mr. Weiss has co-authored both Untangling the Web and Cybersex Exposed with Dr. Jennifer Schneider, along with numerous peer reviewed articles and edited journals. A media expert to CNN, 20/20, The Oprah Winfrey Network, Anderson Cooper, The New York Times, The Times of London, Time, Newsweek and the Today Show among many others, Mr. Weiss also had provided sexual addiction treatment training and clinical program development for the US military, the National Institutes of Health and major multi-addiction treatment centers in the United States, Europe and Asia.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Alyson Books (July 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1555838219
• ISBN-13: 978-1555838218
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 7.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #598,745 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #67 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Addiction & Recovery > Sexual

More About the Author

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S is Senior Vice President of Clinical Development with Elements Behavioral Health. A licensed UCLA MSW graduate and personal trainee of Dr. Patrick Carnes, he founded the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles in 1995. He is author of several books, and numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters. He contributes regularly to PsychCentral.com, writing primarily about sex addiction, and the Huffington Post, writing primarily about the intersection of technology with sex and intimacy. He has developed clinical programs for The Ranch in Nunnelly, Tennessee, Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu, and the aforementioned Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles. He has also provided clinical multi-addiction training and behavioral health program development for the US military and numerous other treatment centers throughout the United States, Europe, and Asia. He has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

78 of 81 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Gay Man Struggling With Out-of-Control Sex? Here's Your Guidebook... August 30, 2005

By Daniel D

Format:Paperback

As a gay man who came out early, but never had any guidance on how to explore my sexuality other than negative messages from my conservative upbringing, I was like a kid in a candy store when I gained my "freedom". The marketers in my community promoted, packaged, and sold uninhibited, no-strings sexual encounters like cheap lolipops. The "perfect" man was found on every page in every gay rag, and presumably, in every bar or club. An so this is where I learned about sex. "Relationships" were relegated to a small column on one of the back pages sandwiched between "escorts" and "one night stands". After 20 years of being encouraged to run from problems into the bed of the next, new hot stud, I realized my life was becoming more empty and isolated. My routine was work/gym/club/sex. I worked only to pay for the gym, the clubs, and ultimately, the sex. I slept when I had a chance. The internet made cruising easier. I spent hours each nite "setting up" encounters, perusing dozens if not hundreds of men online before selecting one or a few for a hook up. I ate and slept only when I found the time, or when my computer crashed. I could not go on a trip without setting up encounters while there, or cruising the bars, parks, bathhouses, etc. The thought of a relationship only brought on feelings of hopelessness. So it was back to cruising. This was my life.

There are other books out there on sex addiction, like "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes, but NONE written specifically by a gay man FOR gay men. If you are a gay man of any age and have had questions about your sexual activities, or feel a sense of hopelessness about finding the "right" guy, PLEASE read this book by one of the leading experts in sex addiction!!! Or at least, find someone who has it, or go to a bookstore and browse it.

The extremists on the right want to completely strip us of our equal rights and dignity that we have fought so hard to get, and now it seems the tide is starting to turn in their direction, yet many of us have no idea how to pull ourselves out of the bathhouses and chat rooms to fight back, let alone form stable, loving relationships.

This is a WONDERFUL guidebook to help lead you down a path to a richer, fuller, more enjoyable life. But it is only a guide... you have to do the leg work.

GREAT BOOK!!!!

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Every gay man should read this November 14, 2006

By Anonymous

Format:Paperback

As someone whose addiction only very slowly dawned on me - I knew I was unhappy and depressed but didn't really understand why until a friend told me about his substance addiction and how it went in six week cycles and another friend told me about his sex addiction - then I got the feeling that maybe I also had a problem. I had this book on my Amazon wishlist for months before I bought it - the act of buying it was an acknowledgement that I MIGHT have a problem and have to deal with it.

When it finally arrived I read it from cover to cover in an evening. I liked the way it looked at gay lifestyles from various angles and refrained from judging. I also found it very practical - for instance, the "30 day test" to determine if you have a problem with sex addiction. I went through the 30 days, and was convinced - I had a problem.

Since then, reading and acting on the advice in this book has been a lifesaver for me. I don't necessarily enjoy the AA approach it advocates, but found enough in it for me not to have to go to 12 step groups, yet still take positive steps to emerge from what has been a kind of hell.

And why every gay man should read this? In my community, sex addiction isn't even talked about. So to write an entire book about it - that's a great service. Buy it, read it, and pass it on.

27 of 32 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Every gay male should read this book August 6, 2005

By C. Box

Format:Paperback

Every gay male should read this book. If it doesn't help you, it could help you to help someone else. If you are spending alot of time cruising, but wish you could find a relationship, sex addiction could very well be your problem.

Much thanks to the author... this book saved my relationship.