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Cruisin On Desperation (Dafina Contemporary Romance) [Kindle Edition]

Pat G'OrgeWalker
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)

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Book Description

In this hilarious send-up of church life, the husband-hungry members of the Oh Lawd Why Am I Still Single church group have gathered to complain about the slim pickings in their little town of Pelzer, South Carolina. And newcomer Birdie Tweet may offer just the opportunity they're looking for…

Birdie's love life was bleak until she received a phone call from Lyon Lipps, an irresistible Afro-Latino hunk. Unbeknownst to Birdie, he's also a con artist who has seduced countless women. Now he's found Jesus and wants to reconnect with good Sister Tweet. But when Birdie passes around Lyon's photo, which is actually his mug shot, several ladies in the church group recognize him…

The ladies devise a plan for revenge that will also improve their chances of meeting men. They're going cruising aboard the aptly named ship, Desperation of the Seas. And they plan to trick Lyon into sailing along with them. Soon, they're riding a wave of bickering, betrayal, and unholy behavior, with plenty of laughs—and a few genuine revelations—along the way…

"A winner!"—Angela Benson, author of Sins of the Father

"Page-turning laughs, a soul-stirring message, and characters you won't soon forget…after reading Cruisin' on Desperation, your cruise through life and faith will never be the same."—Stacy Hawkins Adams, author of Worth a Thousand Words

"Gut-splitting laughter and a strong spiritual message."—Jacquelin Thomas



Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Phenomenal Praise For Pat G'orge-Walker And Her Novels

"Pat G'Orge-Walker has done it again! Cruisin' on Desperation is a winner! Using the one-of-a-kind humor that has made her the queen of gospel comedy, Ms. Walker pens a tale so funny that you'll fall out of your chair laughing, and so poignantly realistic that you'll wipe tears from your eyes...a must-read." --Angela Benson, author of The Amen Sisters on Cruisin' on Desperation

"Page-turning laughs, a soul-stirring message, and characters you won't soon forget...after reading Pat G'Orge-Walker's Cruisin' on Desperation, your cruise through life and faith will never be the same." --Stacy Hawkins Adams, author of Nothing But the Right Thing and Speak To My Heart on Cruisin' on Desperation

"If laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, this book is a cure-all! You'll never look at cruising the same way again." --Tia McCollors, author of Zora's Cry and A Heart of Devotion on Cruisin' on Desperation

"Pat G'Orge-Walker continues to be one of my favorite writers of all time. Cruisin' on Desperation is full of fun-loving, unforgettable characters that readers will find themselves endeared to for years to come. --Zane, New York Times Bestselling Author and Publisher of Strebor Books International on Cruisin' on Desperation

"Pat G'Orge-Walker's Crusin' on Desperation is a full-blown cure for what ails you. Her book is filled with memorable characters that will long dance in your head and have you laughing a torrential rain of tears. Pat's artful style of storytelling is both joyful and genuine." --Bern Nadette Stanis (Thelma of Good Times) on Cruisin' on Desperation

"This novel is the best of its kind, and it's easy to see how G'Orge-Walker has carved out a comfortable niche for herself as the queen of gospel comedy literature." --QBR on Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin's Dead

"Another hilarious romp with Sister Betty." --Black Issues Book Review on Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin's Dead

"Christian comedy fiction at its best." --Library Journal on Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin's Dead

About the Author

Pat G'Orge (pronounced Gee-or-jay)-Walker is a former record industry veteran who has worked for several major labels including Epic, Def Jam, and Columbia. She has also performed with the legendary 60's girl group, Arlene Smith and the Chantels ("Maybe") as well as with gospel groups. In 2003, G'Orge-Walker released Sister Betty! God's Calling You, Again! to be directly followed by Mother Eternal Ann Everlastin's Dead in 2004. In between writing books and spending time with her husband Rob in their Long Island, New York home, Pat is busy touring the country performing her sold-out One Woman Sister Betty comedy show.

Product Details

  • File Size: 518 KB
  • Print Length: 288 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0758218877
  • Publisher: Kensington Books; Reprint edition (August 1, 2010)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003IYI6P6
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #566,210 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
(25)
3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Be Anxious for Nothing, But In All Things... April 4, 2007
Format:Hardcover
Author Pat G'Orge-Walker has penned a wonderful, wonderful book that will make you belly laugh, especially while you think of certain church members who could definitely be Mother Pray Onn or Mother Blister in "Cruisin' On Desperation."

This is one book I have to start off saying, "See, what had happened was..." The members of the Oh Lawd, Why Am I Still Single Singles Club could not take it another moment after a string of women were married in the summer of 2005. We are talking about women too old to get a man, or too ugly to get a man, and one who married a thug in order to get a man. Whatever the reason, the members of the Oh Lawd, Why Am I Still Single Singles Club had to come up with their best plot to get a man and get married. So the planning and plotting began.

Sis. Need Sum was the president of the Singles Club, and she was the one who made the final decisions concerning what they would do. By the time she consulted with Mother Blister, Birdie Tweet, Petunia, Cill and Ima Hell Raiser, they concocted a plan that included going on a cruise to get back at Lyon Lipps an ex-con who made a living taking advantage of women. Oh it was pay back time for real, with a side order of "get a man" while they were on the cruise.

The women were able to pull it off while doing things to slight each other at the same time. But as always, author G'orge-Walker will have you in stitches while she takes you on the journey in the lives of the characters as they begin to transform by the power of God. Important life lessons are in this comedic read, and you will find out that there is no need to worry about getting a man, getting married or anything else you think God should hurry and do with your help.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarity on the high seas! May 11, 2007
Format:Hardcover
Pat G'Orge-Walker is back! The latest book featuring the antics of Ain't Nobody Right But Us - All Others Going To Hell Church by this illustrious author, is yet another offering that proves that her talent for imagery is just as good as it's always been. You may remember her from the tales told emanating from her Sister Betty series of books. If you thought they were hilarious then, wait until you've met with the members of the `Oh-Lawd-Why-Am-I-Still-Single' church group on the current outing! The author in her new book, Cruisin' On Desperation, curtails their antics rather succinctly. Now, this is no ordinary group of ecclesiastical church abiding members. In my opinion, the one thing that stands out while reading this book is the characterization, and how the different settings mesh with a less than embellished storyline.

As a matter of fact, the latter is not indicative of how I rated the book...rather it's the way she allows each character to be the star of their own Diaspora while still managing to be a bridge to each other, which makes the difference. To this effect, the author does an outstanding job of allowing the characters to shine in lieu of a traditional storyline where plot, back-story, and setting are usually apropos. Each of them is aptly introduced, and the author did a good job of putting me in position to wonder which character I like best. Just when I thought one would win out, another would do something that would cause me to want to gain favor. I found out that no one character is solitary for my vote - they ALL win! But let me share with you a few of these characters in name only. You'll have to read the book to get the low down! Check out Sister Need Sum, twins Lyon and Lionel Lipps, Bea Blister, Slim Pickens, Ima Hellraiser, Birdie Tweet, Sasha Pray Onn...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Get Ready to Laugh Uncontrollably April 22, 2007
Format:Hardcover
When was the last time you have a deep belly crying laugh? Well, that was too long ago. The ladies in the Oh Lawd, Why Am I Still Single Singles Club will have you hootn' and hollerin over their conversations and plan to get back at Lyon Lipps. Their names and personalities alone bring about a chuckle; let me tell you about them. Cill and Petunia argued amongst each other but they were the mild ones in the group. Mother Blister was older than dirt, would forget her thoughts in mid-sentence, and had lost control of her bladder. Sister Need Sum (Needy) was the president of the club and clearly ran the show. Birdie Tweet is rich and doesn't mind throwing her money around. It just happens that she is the first and only white sister in the group.

Their plan was complex; see they tricked Lyon Lipps into believing that he won a cruise on the ship desperation. The ladies would create chaos on board, make Lyon's life hell all while enjoying a much needed vacation. However, the club can't do it all themselves they called in reinforcements: Sister Ima Hellraiser daughter of Sister Areel Hellraiser and Mother Pray Onn. The antics of these `church folk' come to a screeching halt when the Holy Spirit shows up and shows out. The drama is still working at home because Cill and Petunia can't make the trip but their hands are full trying to uncover dirt at home while dealing with Ima's cat, Evilene.

CRUISIN' ON DESPERATION offers a comedic twist on stereotypical church ladies. Be ready to laugh at the development and execution of the mission to destroy one man. The only problem is that in order to complete their task they will learn the real meaning of living for God. There are times when the action lags and the antics of Mother Pray Onn and Mother Blister are unbelievable.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars love this book
Still laughing, love this book!! Thanks a bunch.
Published 2 months ago by Dorothy B. James
2.0 out of 5 stars Book will give you something to talk about at book club meeting.
The plot took forever to thicken. However before the end a decent story evolved I was told at book club meeting. Myself I did not finish. Read more
Published 3 months ago by dorobee
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Good read.
Published 3 months ago by Cookinggold
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
great book to read
Published 3 months ago by shaneanc
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
easy read
Published 4 months ago by Ava D. Aubrey
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
Cruisin' Desperation is a story of hope for single women. It is a reminder through laughter that a relationship with Jesus and knowing oneself comes before joining with another... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Sharon Townsend
3.0 out of 5 stars Funni book
I have several of her books and this is very good but not the best one but it is worth the read
Published 18 months ago by C. Nash
2.0 out of 5 stars Silly read
I couldn't get far in the book. I mean three chapters, even after numerous attempts. I couldn't get passed the names of the characters. The names were silly. Read more
Published on May 28, 2012 by Samrawit Yimam
1.0 out of 5 stars Cruisin' on Desparation
If you like backbiting, conniving, manipulating women then you might like this book.The humor was at the expense of someone every time. Read more
Published on April 23, 2012 by RDBOOMER
2.0 out of 5 stars Just because I didn't like it doesn't mean you wont...
I bought this book after having read enthusiastic reviewer accolades. Unfortunately, it just didn't work for me. Read more
Published on March 3, 2010 by ruth
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More About the Author

Pat G'Orge (pronounced Gee-or-jay) - Walker is in a league of her own. This accomplished Christian author and comedienne has an amazing mind and talent for turning her observations of church life into gems of sidesplitting humor. It is her own special gift from God that enables G'Orge-Walker to depict the often ridiculous antics of church folk without subverting the Good News or watering down the potency of its message.

Pat G'Orge-Walker has paid a high price for the ever-present smile on her face. This Mt. Vernon, New York PK (preacher's kid) has survived a raging house fire; a violent assault; a car crash that mangled her body and a viral infection that left her temporarily blinded. Through it all, Pat quietly soaked in material from her father's Baptist congregation and her mother's Pentecostal assembly to create the stories that keep readers and audiences howling with laughter. Pat is a 'kept woman' whose life is held firmly and safely in God's hand. Mercy and compassion season every word spoken or written by Pat, who makes her story palpitate in the hearts of people who readily relate to victory over adversity.

The First Lady of Gospel Comedy forges a successful
career as author and comedian. She has paved the way for
many others in both fields. Pat's storytelling is likened to
Zora Neale Hurston's folklore'a documentation of
American culture and church life in literature.

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FLAP COPY:

In her latest, most side-splitting send-up of church life yet, Pat G'Orge-Walker's hilarious cast of god-fearing, husband-hungry parishioners embark on a mission that's sure to give new meaning to the term manhunter...



Once again it's time for the members of the... Read More
Nov 6, 2006 by K. Warren |  See all 2 posts
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