Customer Reviews

Crusade of Vengeance

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

After renting this movie, I felt I had to say something about it, even though I NEVER write reviews. It will show.

Don't rent this movie.

The plot is so stupid and transparent that it makes you wonder what they were thinking. I spent most of the movie heckling it, but not in the laughing silly sort of way. More like the what in the world were you thinking?? way. Every character in the movie is operating on too few brain cells.

Movie perspective: Bad guys are in town. Hero comes in and kills bad guys. Townspeople pick up rocks to throw at hero. Oh the mistreatment.

My perspective. You are a townsman, the people you are scared will kill you are in town. Someone comes into town and kills 5 for everyone one of them. Would you throw a rock at this person?

The movie is filled with this kinda of try to make it emotional nonsense. The only positive thing is there was one scene that did make me laugh and they did have the guts to kill off people other than badguys.

In fact when one was hung, I could have sworn I heard "Thank you so much for getting me out of this movie"

This isn't a B movie, it's a D movie. Not D as in two notches below B, though it is that, but D as in Drug. Not only does the film only make sense if you're drunk, but the entire crew had to have been on something. The scriptwriter had the good crack, since he thought that a woman warrior in the 1100s would have gotten anywhere but burned as a witch. The cameraman was slamming back shooters if the long boob shots -- during rape scenes no less! -- are any indication. As for the actors, they were all smoking weed during filming, judging by the total lack of facial expression and randomly changing accents.

The only sober people involved in the whole project were Arnold Vosloo (Luke) and Rutger Hauer (Grekkor). They showed a true sense of professionalism by doing a job well that was clearly beneath them. Both men use subtle inflections and a smoothness of tone that I just adore, and they didn't fail me here. I got it as part of a free trial, so it was worth it, but if I'd have paid more than .99 for it, I'd have felt cheated.

I'm going to try and adhere to the adage, 'If you don't have anything nice to say..."

So I'll limit myself to a couple of brief non-inflammatory comments.

- If you're postmenopausal and have a desire to see half-baked sword fights and wizened chicks kicking men's backsides, then then is your flick.

- Sort of wished they threw in a monster or two, just to spice things up. And then it could be loosely thrown into the 'fantasy' category. Because as it is... it's just sad.

Heartbreaking to see one of my favorite actors, Rutger Hauer, involved this production. So I like to think he did something nice with the paycheck - took a long vacation to the Bahamas or helped pay down his mortgage.

This is worth nobody's time unless you are going for your 10-year old's end of the year movie party in school. Casting rating is horrible, story terrible, acting 0%.