Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom [Paperback]

Cameron Pierce (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 4, 2011

Franz and Lola are vampires in love. They live in a cottage near the sea with their little vampire baby.

Burn Girl is a lonely girl who walks along the bottom of the sea, constantly on fire. The water doesn't put her fire out or soothe her burns. It only makes her feel like she's wearing an itchy wool sweater.

Bruno is the buffest vampire. He is building Muscle Island, a floating fortress comprised of mussels.

The Vampire Science Council has been working for centuries to prevent the depletion of their arctic planet's blood supply, but the blood has finally run out.

Cyrus Lugosi's friends want to slaughter him as part of a ritual sacrifice that will raise Cthulhu from his tomb at the bottom of the sea. There are just two problems: The closest thing to the Necronomicon they've got is a unicorn coloring book, and Cthulhu is more interested in his quest for the perfect hamburger.

Their fates will converge when Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"Just about every page is filled with the spawn of a delightfully mad dreamer." - INNSMOUTH FREE PRESS

"A bizarro fever-dream tale of vampire lovers attempting to summon a hamburger and LOLCat-obsessed Cthulhu to destroy their doomed undersea kingdom. Including a Necronomicon that is really a unicorn coloring book, Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom is sure to annoy Lovecraftian purists, but made me laugh out loud at many turns." - ROSS E. LOCKHART, editor of The Book of Cthulhu

"What you'd get if H. P. Lovecraft wrote a Tim Burton animated film." - CARLTON MELLICK III, author of The Faggiest Vampire

Product Details

• Paperback: 188 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 4, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1936383950
• ISBN-13: 978-1936383955
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,293,938 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Cameron Pierce is the Wonderland Book Award-winning author of Die You Doughnut Bastards, Lost in Cat Brain Land, Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island, and other books. He writes surreal nightmares that are funny, sad, sincere, and violent. His books have been praised by New York Times bestselling authors Piers Anthony and Thomas F. Monteleone, legendary cult filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman, The Guardian, Cracked.com, and New Times.

He is the editor of Amazing Stories of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction #5. He also runs Lazy Fascist Press, publishing books by indie cult sensation Sam Pink, World Fantasy Award-winner Alan M. Clark, and books like Broken Piano for President by Patrick Wensink, which became an international bestseller.

His fiction and poetry has appeared in The Barcelona Review, The Bizarro Starter Kit (Purple), The Nervous Breakdown, The Pedestal Magazine, Word Riot, Verbicide, Avant-Garde for the New Millennium, Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, The Dream People, Christmas on Crack, Nemonymous 10, Warmed and Bound, Nouns of Assemblage, Kill Author, Thieves Jargon, Bare Bone, The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, The Horror Library Vol. II, Sein und Werden, and many other publications.

Cameron lives in a tiny cottage in Portland, Oregon with his wife, author Kirsten Alene.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars spooky December 6, 2011

By Justin T. Grimbol

Format:Paperback

This is the best vampire book I have ever read. At times it reads like a fairy tale. Other times its like a young adult book. then at other times it can be super perverse and grimy and twisted. This is a good combo.
This book is fun. Really fun. The world he created is hypnotizing and the characters are all amazing. I got really attached to each of them and was sad to leave them when the book ended. Cthuhlu is one of the best characters. He embodies the spirit of the book. he's terrifying and, at the same time, adorable and goofy and charming.
Peirce is quickly becoming my favorite bizarro writer.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Cthulu Birthday Hamburger Massacre October 24, 2011

By Dustin Reade

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

weird. fun. with so many plot lines going on at once it reminded me of Philip K. Dick when he really got into a weird roll and busted out something brilliant/crazy. The whole thing reads like a fever dream, or a hallucination. With some imagery and ideas so startlingly original the mind reels for a moment before plunging on with the absolutely beautiful nightmare that is this book.

It has everything: Cthulu, vampires, oceans of blood, mythos, black metal, dead infants, a unicorn coloring book, ice, texting, and so on. It is about a society on the brink of collapse, and a world in ruin. It is about the history of the internet and two vampires in love. Two MARRIED vampires in love. That was refreshing, I must say.

Really, Cthulu Comes To The Vampire Kingdom is a new kind of fairy tale for a new kind of person, where all of the old gods and staples of horror fiction get revamped (if you will pardon the pun) for a new world.

Five stars, two thumbs up, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars My first Cameron Pierce March 7, 2012

By Sir Ethan of Potatolamp

Format:Paperback

My first Cthulhu book and my first Cameron Pierce book, and they happened to coincide, what are the odds?
So much happens in this book, its amazing how much is packed in here.
There is no blood at all, and the Vampires are starving. For different reasons, multiple groups get the bright idea to summon Cthulhu (whose story is far to funny and unique to attempt explanation).
Burn Girl hates Cthulhu for destroying her favorite lonely diner, and so she follows him.
Franz and Lola are a vampire couple whose loss of a child fuels their desire to fix the world they love so much.
And the story just gets weirder and more awesome from there. All these different character stories weave in and out of one another wonderfully.
This was the first Cameron Pierce, not the last.