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Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships Paperback – June 23, 2009
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—A.J. Reid Finlayson, MD, Division of Addiction Medicine, Department of Psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine
“Marnia Robinson brings neuroscience into the bedroom, revealing how biology creates projection and separation. She provides a solution that will not only pleasantly surprise you, but will profoundly change your life. This is a must-read for anyone wanting to know love.”
—Kali Wendorf, founder of Australia’s Kindred magazine and contributing editor of the anthology Belonging
“I can honestly say that I have never read a more accessible and well laid out description of the brain’s reward circuitry. Combine that with the experiential, practical, and spiritual dimensions of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow, and it is virtually impossible to walk away from it without the feeling that Marnia Robinson really is on to something significant in the field of human relationships and sexual behavior.”
—Russell Razzaque, MD, psychiatrist, London, England
“Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow is a skillful blend of understandable science, informative personal reports and light-hearted humor, which make for enjoyable, thought-provoking reading. Between its chapters, curious readers will also find intriguing essays about various traditions (Taoism, Christianity, Buddhism, cortezia, karezza, etc.). These reveal little known, and often remarkable, clues about the hidden potential that lies in our sexual relationships.”
“In Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships, author Marnia Robinson explains how neuroscience can help us understand and change our relationships. Robinson challenges often-held assumptions about the role of sexuality in an accessible way, including personal experiences, science, and insights from around the world.”
“Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow blends personal experiences with the latest neuroscience and various cultural insights to build a survey of popular notions about human sexual interactions and their realities, blending history with cultural and social observation.”
—Midwest Book Review
About the Author
Marnia Robinson is a former corporate lawyer who left her career to investigate how ancient sacred-sex prescriptions can heal widespread disharmony in intimate relationships. She and her husband, Gary Wilson, have given presentations on the subject worldwide and run a Web site called Reuniting: Healing with Sexual Relationships. She lives in Ashland, OR.
More About the Author
The more she learned about both ancient sacred sex traditions and the science of mating and bonding, the more she recognized the need for a cross-disciplinary perspective that also incorporates the experiences of actual lovers struggling with the tension between fiery biological urges and the desire for long-term harmonious relationships. Psychologists, neuroscientists, evolutionary biologists, anthropologists and ancient sages all have essential clues for coping with this challenge--and yet each profession alone is somewhat hampered by its codified assumptions. Marnia's work highlights key insights (both recent and long-forgotten) by weaving them together with practical suggestions. Her book has been endorsed by two psychiatrists, a UCLA biology professor and author of "Mean Genes," and others.
Her husband Gary Wilson, a neuroscience enthusiast, generously takes time from his teaching career to help her collect and analyze the material in her posts and books. He also hosts the porn recovery website www.yourbrainonporn.com. Together Gary and Marnia blog on "Psychology Today" (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow). Their article "The Great Porn Experiment" recently appeared in "The Evolutionary Review." You can watch Gary's popular TEDx talk of the same name here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU&feature=youtu.be. They reside in Ashland, Oregon.
Watch Marnia on San Francisco's "The View from the Bay" show (http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=view_from_the_bay/sex_relationships&id=6982144). (6 mins.)
"Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" has also been published in German as "Das Gift an Amors Pfeil."
Top Customer Reviews
And how are relationships between couples going? The stats are not good. Despite the fact that more people are having the hottest sex using all the techniques now available, there are more relationships on the rocks than ever.
Marnia Robinson blows the lid on what is really happening. There are a plethora of books and studies out there examining what happens before and up to orgasm, but no one is looking at what happens afterwards. Its the last thing we want to know. Sex just becomes two Dopamine junkies who get into bed with each other to feast on the hit we get from the big O.
Tantra is the big thing at the moment, but under the guise of sacredness it frequently degenerates into just another way to get a dopamine hit. It sells well, but doesn't make lasting bonded relationships between couples.
This book go where none other dare to go. What is the ultimate effect of this lust feasting on each other. From this book I have made more sense of what has happened in my relationships than any other. Its not just what happened in my childhood, its also about how we are wired as humans.
I always believe I should follow my heart in life and relationships, but at least now I know that it can also be just my penis connected to my limbic system wanting to follow natures agenda for offspring.
Unless this is pointed out to you, the negative after effects of orgasm are very hard to spot. I didn't see them. Even when I suspected after effects such as moodiness and fatigue were related to ejaculating, what could I do? Although books such as The Multi-orgasmic man pointed out the pitfalls of ejaculating, the prescription was to get to the edge and then move the sexual energy up the spine. I tried and eventually gave up these exercises. Too frustrating and I didn't get results. Karezza, by contrast, looks easy.
Cupid's poisoned arrow gives us a thorough, comprehensive view of orgasms. There are no moral arguments against them. The argument is neurochemical. Avoid orgasm because there is a hidden two week hangover called the passion cycle. I'm grateful for knowing this and for a path out - karezza. It's too early to give 1st hand knowledge that karezza works, but my intuition says "Yes". I'll be experimenting, no doubt. Thank you Marnia, Will, and the growing community.
I think this information is essential to anyone that wants healthy romantic relationships but beyond that because of all the information in the book about how our brains work and how patterns and addictions are formed and healed I think it's essential to all human beings!
This is one of those books when you wish you could go higher than five stars. Thank you, Marnia, for such a great book!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
very interesting book, I feel that all couples should read thisPublished 2 months ago by Michael H.
This book is life changing. It has taken my desire for my wife to a whole new level and I feel more sexual energy than I did when I was a teenager. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Hugh Mann
I wish I had read this book years ago. It was so illuminating. I look forward to finding a compatible partner who will practice the principles taught in this book with me.Published 7 months ago by Steven Horne
Quit another view on our orgasm and dopamine fixed culturePublished 7 months ago by Lars Michael Ness
This book is a rare gem. A powerhouse of very important information in both esoteric and current science veins. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Pista of The Great Love
Very interesting book akin to Tantra. Very informative and well written.Published 11 months ago by Margaret Lemon
Pretty good book. But, the general ideal of the practice she says to use just did not work. I liked all of her examples and the fact that the method she employs does work for some... Read morePublished 13 months ago by Brentg