Customer Reviews

The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(2)

 

 

I intitially picked up this book out of professional interest. As an advocate for women's rights and a student of leadership development, I was interested in learning from Rachel's experience working with young women at the Girl's Leadership Institute. What I didn't expect was the degree of self-reflection this book provoked. How had my lovely, graceful, care-taking mother been raised in the 40s and 50s? What lessons did I learn as a girl about appropriate behavior and having -- much less sharing -- needs? How do I see these trends play out with women in the workplace? How many young women have I coached to know their own value as they negotiated for a raise, promotion, or new job? How will I teach - or not teach - these lessons to my own children? On the last point, the book offers a practical guide for parents (and teachers and coaches and all adults who interact with girls). With Rachel's help -- and the help of all the mothers and daughters who shared their stories in this book so that we might learn from their experience -- we can raise a generation of authentic girls who truly know and like themselves.

Jackie Payne

I have been reading this book for several months. I keep finding new truths that remind me of my personal journey, through self exploration and through life. Most exceptional, is how much of what this author speaks of that can be applied to SO many women- women I know, women I'm related to, women with whom I work, women whose work I've read, women I treat as patients. I feel that most all women of this time and place could find something relatable in this discussion.

The book is an exploration of the complicated messages girls are receiving from society, from their families, from their teachers and from their friends. To be a "good girl", we must honor others' feelings before our own, diminish our grievances to avoid conflicts, avoid confrontation so as not to seem mean spirited, and thus promote dishonesty with each other and with ourselves.
This of course, leads to a suffocating mix of avoidance and frustration in personal relationships, as well as in professional spheres. How many of us have trembled at the idea of saying "That's not right/fair" or "I'm worth more than that" at work? I know I have. Or in relationships, how many of us cry unabashedly at the first sign of a disagreement, thus negating any rationale resolution or productive further discussion?

This author works with girls in leadership workshops that help young women develop their voice and learn ways to communicate that voice more effectively. They learn to develop healthy egos that allow for open communication of their needs/desires/opinions/feelings within all relationships.
What an extraordinary concept! That our families of origin, even those who were nuturing, were also leading us to some pretty toxic behavior. This prevents us from having the confidence and courage to discover who we are and what we want out of life. It does not admonish rule following- instead it offers suggestions for learning to deal with the natural disappointments of life and for finding our own way rather than following only what society proffers.

The practical discussion in the book could most aptly be used by a mother, but I found the discussion to be worthy of self reflection. How many of us, before we raise a girl, need to raise the girl within that may be stagnating in some of these repressive thought patterns?

I was really excited to get this book,but was soon disappointed by its contents. Not a bad book, but as a minority it really didn't speak to me or any other minority girls or parents. The book does state in the beginning that they interviewed girls from all backgrounds, but the book only mentions one girl and she in a completely different( lower ) economic bracket then her classmates. The book doesn't approach other issues that may effect a girls attitude/outlook like a poor enviroment, lack of finances and/or social factors that DO NOT involve a school atmosphere. I really wanted to like this book yet after completing the book, I felt that my time could have been better spent. I read the entire book waiting for it to get better and unfortunately, it never did.

Since reading this book, I have recommended it to everyone I know-and certainly everyone I know who has ever been a girl or is raising girls. The book is smart, insightful, funny, helpful, savvy and most importantly tells the truth about girl's lives.

This book makes a critically important contribution to our understanding of adolescent girls-and what holds girls back from reaching their full potential. Even better, Rachel Simmons offers practical solutions to help girl's (and those who love them) be their true authentic selves.

I am so grateful this book exists. Thank you Rachel Simmons!

This book is a MUST for any woman to read! A truly intelligent book, without the usual bromides. It is thought provoking and worth reading several times.

Society provides confusing messages to girls. As young children girls they are fed fairy tales that teach complance and modesty. Then they are thrust into the working world as young adults that suddenly demands competence, confidence and assertiveness. It's a bit like the "double-bind" psychologists describe of contradictory messages. In a sense girls are forced to walk around with a big chunk of kryptonite that drains them of all power. (like Superman, remember?)

This books is a MUST for teachers and parents. It's about girls finding their "truth", the true voice , their life guide. This is a VITAL SUBJECT.

If you were a girl, are a girl, or have a girl, this is a book for you. In an important book, the author of Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons puts her finger on the social and emotional dynamics that work against girls reaching their full potential, as achievers and as human beings.
The exercises in the second part of the book are spot on, and I wish every mother in America would read the chapter directed to mothers.

In her delightfully anticipated new book, The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel Simmons strikes the precipitous balance between empathizing with the plight of the adolescent Good Girl, whilst simultaneously understanding the challenge of the adults who must navigate the stormy adolescent waters with their daughters. It is clear in her writing that Rachel's gift is in her capacity to truly KNOW the experience of the girls to whom she has dedicated her career, and to make sense of it in a way which allows her to respond with startling accuracy to the challenges facing today's teen. She invites parents and educators to join in her in this knowing, and so to begin to respond sensitively to the responsibility they have as caregivers. This book has the potential to create an inter-generational bridge, providing a framework for communication between adults and adolescents, and in so doing allowing both to explore their authentic selves with courage and confidence. Rachel's style is compellingly personal; in reading this book I felt that she was in conversation with me, speaking both to the adult in me and to the adolescent girl who remains so alive in memory. Her style is wonderfully readable; she writes with poignant humour, intellect and deep insight. The Curse of the Good Girl will be a companion to all adults who live and work with girls. Rachel's reputation as Girl Whisperer is sustained.

Rachel's Simmons book gives so much insight into girls' thoughts and behaviors--it just takes our understanding of girls' behaviors to another, better, level. For girls, I particularly like the "NJZ" concept (AKA the No Joking Zone). Plus, Rachel's work is always an enjoyable, clear and concise read.

Rachel Simmons has done it again!

She manages to portray complex and socially layered issues for girls in accessible, insightful, and easy to digest bites so that all parents, mentors, and role models for girls can get involved in this topic! It's time to end the fallacy of the good girl myth for girls and get them connected to their power, strength, voice, and unwavering confidence. I imagine a world where every girl in school gets to read this book~! Better yet - parents before giving birth to girls would be REQUIRED to read this book! It's one that I will buy and share for a while - I did it with Odd Girl Out and I'll do it with Curse of the Good Girl.

Thank you Rachel for sharing your warm, loving, and humane voice!

This book is both informative and moving. You don't have to be a parent or even a woman for that matter to take something powerful away from this read. Simmons has proven yet again that she is one of the foremost experts on female development, aggression, and bullying. Highly recommended...