Customer Reviews

Curse of the Headless Horseman

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Before he changed his name and started making adult films, Leonard Kirtman defecated this cow pie of cinematic putrescence on the world. This stinker actually forced me to challenge my convictions concerning the worst movie of all time; Curse of the Headless Horseman is easily - easily - among the worst three films ever made. I mean, this movie makes you want to gouge your eyes out and swallow a bottle of Clorox. Your mind can hardly handle the experience because the film is just so bad in every way possible. With one of our own churning out a bomb like this, you start to question whether humanity really deserves to exist after all.

Where do I even begin? Well, for starters, the audio and video quality of the whole thing is just awful. The fact that Kirtman obviously forbade his cast from doing more than one take of any scene didn't help. Actors flub lines left and right, several of them can't walk more than four or five feet without tripping, most of the night scenes were shot during the middle of the afternoon, you can hear a phone ringing off-camera at one point, a few lines were delivered so far away from the microphone you can barely hear them (actually, that might be a good thing), and someone gets the brilliant idea of playing around with red, green, and blue filters somewhere along the way. Most of the music in the film was apparently supplied by a cat walking up and down the keys of a piano. The acting - folks, these kids are the worst actors I've ever seen in my life. Not one of them could act his/her way out of a dark room with a flashlight (I have my doubts that many of them could find their way out of a brightly lit room with the door wide open, actually). Special effects? Puh - lease. I've seen little kids make papier mache heads that looked more lifelike than the horseman's head in this movie. Oh, and did I mention the fact that this really annoying narrator keeps turning up to pontificate over aspects of the whole headless horseman thing?

Please, I beg of you, don't even think about associating the name of Washington Irving with anything about this film. I think one of the writers of the Scooby Doo mysteries dropped some LSD or something and came up with this plot. Guy inherits ranch (ranch, of course, means pitiful, broken-down wild west tourist attraction), has to turn a profit in six months or lose everything, brings hippie friends with him, hears ridiculous tale about a headless horseman from creepy caretaker; said horseman shows up; friends trip and start dying; "shocking" conclusion; end credits. That's basically it - and as bad as my little summary sounds, the movie itself is exponentially worse. Words can't even describe how thoroughly awful this movie is.

This is a terrible movie. It looks like a bunch of friends got together and decided to make a movie. I doubt if there was a script. The acting (if you want to call it that) was awful. How this thing made it to DVD is the biggest mystery.

Very gory, keep kids away. Even those that like cheesy movies or B movies may have a hard time with this. It is about some hippies that live in an amusement park/wild west attraction that one hippy inherits from his dead uncle and turns it into a commune. Before you know it they are using drugs, and trying to solve a mystery. The horseman that haunts the place is killing them off one at a time. It is also sold in a two pack with a movie called Carnival of Blood. If you are looking for anything related to the actual Washington Irving story about the headless horseman, it is called the Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

...This is the result! A disjointed dog-log of a "film" about (what else) a guy and his hippie friends who inherit a ranch. An old caretaker soon tells the tale of the headless horseman and his curse, which (supposedly) brings about the deaths of a few of the fuzzy young people. Unfortunately, this is all shot through a home-movie camera by someone who must have seen MANOS and said, "Wow! Now THAT'S a movie!" While not as mind-scorchingly awful as say, FRANKENSTEIN ISLAND, it's close! Yecch!...