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Curses! A F**ked-Up Fairy Tale Paperback – February 28, 2012


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation; 1 edition (February 28, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0758269129
  • ISBN-13: 978-0758269126
  • Product Dimensions: 0.9 x 5.8 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,133,105 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Blending favorite fairy tale characters with today's cultural references and sensibilities, Curses! flips the childhood staple on its head to create a wholly adult, and highly entertaining, reading experience.

Gabrielle Gantz, The Nervous Breakdown

This book had me laughing out loud. The author does a wonderful job of bringing the characters and their world into the here and now. I loved seeing many of the characters in this new light. I enjoyed my visit and cannot wait to come back again to see just what will happen next.

-  You Gotta Read Reviews

It will keep any mystery, romance, or mystery/romance fan up reading past their bedtime. Throw in the "fractured fairytales," and anyone may find themselves still reading at dawn...

- Dan Porter, The Chaotic Reader

From the Back Cover

I'm no hero. In fact, up until a couple of days ago, I was the villain. Kidnapped maidens, scared kids, stole magic tchotchkes--until I got into a little scrape with the union. Now I'm cursed with the worst fate in New Never City--no matter what I do, I gotta be nice.

So when a head-case princess named Asia barges into my apartment and asks me to find out who whacked her stepsister, Cinderella, I have no choice but to help her. And I'm more than willing to head back to her parents' castle and do some investigating if it means I can get into her black leather cat suit. Except this twisted sister has a family nutty enough to send the Biggest Baddest Wolf running for the hills--and a freaky little curse of her own. . .

More About the Author

J.A. Kazimer is a writer living in Denver, CO. Books include The Junkie Tales, The Body Dwellers, CURSES! A F***ed-Up Fairy Tale, Holy Socks & Dirtier Demons, Dope Sick: A Love Story, SHANK, Froggy Style: A F***ed Up Fairy Tale and The Assassin's Heart. She is currently working on a new fairy tale mystery for Kensington Books.

When Kazimer isn't looking for the perfect place to hide the bodies, she spends her time surrounded by cats with attitude and a little puppy named Killer. Other hobbies include murdering houseplants, kayaking, snowboarding, reading and theater. After years of slacking, she received a master's degree in forensic psychology, which she promptly ignored and started writing novels for little to no money.

In addition to studying the criminal mind, Kazimer spent a few years spilling drinks on people as a bartender and then wasted another few years stalking people while working as a private investigator in the Denver area. You can find her online at jakazimer.com.





Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on March 28, 2012
Format: Paperback
OMG, this book was PHENOMENAL. I have never laughed so much or so hard in my life. You have not read a fairytale until you have read it done by J.A. Kazimer. She takes fairytales to a whole new level. I am now a die hard fan of Ms. Kazimer. Any F**cked Up Fairytale she wants to tell I will so be there to read it.

RJ is the biggest, baddest villain there is, too bad he is cursed. See RJ is being punished by the Villians Union so now he is cursed to be nice until he can get re-instated to the union. With nothing better to do and an ulterior motive of his own (like getting into her pants....lol), RJ accepts a job from Asia Maledetto.

Asia is a cursed ugly step-sister, but don't let the "title" fool you because Asia is anything but ugly. Her step-sister Cinderella or Cindi as Asia calls her, dies under mysterious circumstances so Asia hires RJ to find out who murdered her beloved step-sister and why.

From the second RJ accepts the job he is put through the ringer. He has more calamities happen to him than all other villains combined. Which makes for a hilarious book. While dodging the law RJ must throw Prince Charming a bachelor party, he gets beat up by Little Miss Muffet, chased by a 10 year old serial killer named Little Red Riding Hood, and he is constantly dodging flying arrows. That is only a small fraction of all the hi jinks RJ finds himself in the middle of. Not to mention there is a surprise twist at the end.

I want to say more but I so don't want to ruin this story for anyone. This is such a MUST READ book. Author J.A. Kazimer, in my opinion, has a HUGE hit on her hands with this new series. So far this is the BEST book I have read this year. I always found myself laughing out loud uncontrollably. On a scale from 1-10 I give Curses!
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Nancy Narma on February 28, 2012
Format: Paperback
If you think you know all there is to know about the Fairy Tale and Nursery Rhyme characters you loved as a child--think again!! When Cinderella is run over and killed by a bus in New Never city while trying to rescue a bluebird straying into traffic, her Step-Sister; Asia, enlists the help of villain; "R. J.", better known as "Rumple Stiltskin" to leave no stone unturned in finding "Cindi's" murderer. Ordinarily, this wouldn't be a problem, but R.J. is a villain, not a Private Investigator and is on mandatory mental health leave from the Villain's Union due to villainous-related stress. Along with his leave, he receives a curse. The type of curse no self-respecting villain would relish., for he is cursed to perform only polite deeds of kindness.
The investigation takes R.J. from his familiar surroundings in New Never City to the wacky Kingdom of Maledetto, complete with the King, his Queen, the other ugly Step-Sister Dru and an enchanted forest filled with familiar named characters with not-so-familiar traits. J.A. Kazimer will lead you through a maze of possibilities spiced with some violence, intrigue, sex and humor. Was Cinderella's death an accident?? Has someone concocted an evil plot against residents of the kingdom?? The author has you guessing right up to the end. "Curses!" is a welcome change from the typical mysteries I have been reading. If you enjoy this volume as much as I have (and I bet you will!)--you'll be happy to learn there is a sequel due out in the not-to-distant and Author Kazimer has generously included its prologue and first two chapters for you to savor. ..which I have done and can't wait for its release so I can explore these imaginary lands once more.
Nancy Narma
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Tamela A. Buhrke on April 7, 2012
Format: Paperback
If you love books by Christopher Moore and movies like Who Framed Roger Rabbit or Hoodwinked, then you'll love this book! It's filled with fairytale creatures doing the unexpected. The lovable main character RJ is always following his heart (and parts lower) into trouble. A funny, enjoyable ride from start to finish.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Offbeat Lover on May 30, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
I was really excited to read this book after seeing A) the price and B) the reviews. It was right up my alley, as I love new takes on fairy tales. This did not live up to my expectations at all. The pace of the story was rambling and fast, so there was no real development of the characters for me. The problems seemed to be resolved too quickly, and then there was suddenly some new thing that got thrown at the reader. Further more, the humor was juvenile at best. The story relies too much on homophobic and transphobic jokes and Stooge-esque physical gags. Also, I felt that there was absolutely no chemistry between the romantic pairing of RJ and Asia. I finished the book, simply on the hope that it got better and that my money was not wasted, but instead I must simply make do with the fact that I only paid $3.99 and therefore didn't waste TOO much of my money.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By J.Cooks on February 17, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I do enjoy a good laugh and after reading the reviews thought I might enjoy reading a twist on a Fairytale. After loading the new book on my Kindle I opened it and started to read. It was so disappointing and JUVENILE I could not get past through the second chapter. I can get the same humor hanging around a group of Middle school kids. Seriously...don't waste your time.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Robert Downs on January 6, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Among other things, this book is aptly titled, because let's face it (and get this out of the way right now): this isn't your mother's fairy tale. Is that a bad thing? Hell no. Sure, the antics are a bit outrageous at times, but one definition of good comedy is that it resides in the extremes, and there are plenty of extremes to be had. I could give you a play-by-play, but you should enjoy it for yourself the first time, without me spoiling most of the fun for you. And there is fun to be had if, like the characters, you let yourself go for a bit, or as long as it takes you to go from "Once upon a time..." to The End.

Having met the author at the 2012 Left Coast Crime Conference, I was a little hesitant to read this book on my Kindle, even though I purchased it from Amazon on May 1, 2012. What if I didn't like CURSES! or I developed a different impression of the author after having read her novel? Those concerns seem rather trivial now, after having read, and thoroughly enjoyed this twist on Cinderella with the forced-to-be-nice villain RJ. With evilly attractive stepsisters, a serial killer in the red hood, one dead Dumpty, and an overpowering Miss Muffet, there's something for everyone.

J.A. Kazimer proves she knows her fairy tales, and she's not afraid to jerk them around for her own twisted amusement. If you love alternate reality fairy tales, you'll want to run, not walk, to your local bookstore, or your favorite online venue, and grab your copy today.

Robert Downs
Author of Falling Immortality: Casey Holden, Private Investigator
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