Customer Reviews

Cybersex Exposed: Simple Fantasy or Obsession?

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Jennifer Schneider and Robert Weiss have created a fair-minded and thorough work on the problems real people experience with sexual addiction on the internet. They provide intelligent discussions of the reasons the internet is so potentially addictive, the kinds of behaviors many addicts find themselves engaging in, and real-life examples of addicts' experiences covering a wide range of age, gender, sexual orientation, and social situation. I highly recommend this book both for the individual or co-addict confronting this problem and for therapists and counselors seeking a deeper understanding of the issue.

I just purchased this new book on the problems of Cybersex use and was impressed with its' clarity and depth of understanding. The book seemed to cover the needs of anyone from a casual cybersex 'player' to a truly compulsive cybersex 'addict'. It was particularly helpful to make use of the section that offered resources toward getting help for anyone who thinks they might have a problem with online sex addiction. My wife has a friend whose husband spends a lot of time in online sex chats and downloading porn. Some of what I read about the spouses problems will probably really be helpful to her. This is one of the better self-help titles I have read in a long time.

Good examples of recreational versus obsessive and addictive use allow the reader to determine if they are at risk, in trouble, or just exploring one of the many avenues available on the Internet. The book offers realistic and useful ways to safeguard computer use for anyone who is compulsive about their use plus lists helpful resources. Parents can also use this book to learn how easily children/teens can get involved in unhealthy cybersex chatting and what to do to keep home computer use safer for everyone. Timely addition to any professional or home library.

overall, i would say the book was decent. definitely good for someone who has no idea what sort of environments can be found on the internet. also, i'm sure that many people may find it helpful.

however, i do have a couple issues with the book.

overall, the tone is somewhat alarmist, at times bordering on the sensational (the title alone is an example), in particular, chapter 3 "cybersex out of control." the chapter is relentless in giving 'real' stories (19 in a chapter of only 20 pages), and with phrases like "read on to see how a cybersex user's inattention to his children may cost him his marriage," it sounds like a tabloid. also in this chapter is the comment "compulsive [cybersex] use can demand large sums of money for upgrades to computer equipment." this feels like a scare tactic. as a computer professional, i can't imagine someone putting more than several hundred dollars into upgrading their computer for cybersex use. even if you were to buy a brand new, fairly high end computer, it still wouldn't cost more than a couple thousand dollars. expensive, perhaps, but not the "large sums of money" the book implies.

my last issue is this. chapter 5 begins with another 'real' story that runs for about a page and a half. the next couple of pages give a few more, shorter 'real' stories. and then, just 4 pages after the first story, a section of that very same first story is presented as a different example of a 'real' story that supports the point being made, when it is, in fact, merely a repetition of the initial story. this is either sloppy editorial work, or, worse, an effort to beef up the content by making one example sound like two. by itself it doesn't seem like much, but it makes me wonder if more of these various 'real' stories come from the same source and not from a variety of sources. in short, it makes me question the integrity of the data.

singly, these examples i've given may appear minor; put together, however, they give me pause about the overall calibre of this book.

I didn't understand what was happening in my own home, that I was losing my relationship to a screen filled with images of women I don't know. I truly thought my husband was 'working' all that time in the den, while I was blaming myself, the kids, our finances, tiptoeing around to stay out of his way. Once I got a glimpse of what he was really doing online I bought Cybersex Exposed right away and what a gift it has been to me! It explained in reasonable terms, so many of the problems I had been experiencing. I wasn't crazy after all! And it gave me some real eduction and direction. I would recommend it to anyone.

I just read the first 8 or so pages of this (whatever Amazon has up there to "browse") and this is such such such propaganda. "Jack" obviously doesn't exist - I'm sorry but who says to his friends: "I mean it, this time no extramarital secret life." Fictitious characters, that's who. I wouldn't trust any of the facts in this book - they misrepresent the Titanic disaster pretty casually (the telegraph and the radio were used to enact the rescue mission , and to alert the papers).

Basically, if you're scared of the internet and of sex and already agree with this book, then by all means read it, but if you're actually interested in real people and real stories, read Sherry Turkle's "Life on the Screen" or any of her essays.