DATING MY VIBRATOR (and other true fiction) [Kindle Edition]

Suzanne Tyrpak (Author)

Book Description

This is a collection of NINE SHORT STORIES, all based (unfortunately) on my own experience. Dating, divorce, desperation--all that good stuff! After nineteen years of marriage, I was suddenly thrust into a brave new world of dating--online, offline, standing in line, listening to lines--and I've survived to tell these tales. CAUTION: if you're contemplating divorce, these stories may convince you to consider marriage counseling. If you're out there dating, chances are you will relate. OMG! Here's a scary thought: maybe you've met some of these guys! Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

These stand-alone stories range in length from 500 words to over 3,000 words. The collection is a total of 14,613 words, approximately 55 pages.

Note from the author:
After being married for nineteen years, my husband wanted a divorce. The good new is that we're still friends. In fact, when I recently had a bad accident resulting in three emergency surgeries and an amputated toe, he really helped me out. So that's a happy ending. However, dating wasn't quite as happy.

These nine short stories reflect my experience.Most people find many of the stories funny.(One isn't supposed to be funny, and most are bittersweet.) Some people don't. I can't guarantee you will, but I do guarantee that I poured my heart into these stories, and I love sharing them with readers.

Thanks to everyone who's bought them!

Suzanne

Third edition: Linked Table of Contents and Cover.

Warning: Proceed at your own risk--PG-13 rated content.

Suzanne's short story Downhill was first published in Arts Perspective Magazine. Rock Bottom is published in the Mota 9: Addiction anthology, available on Kindle. Her short story Ghost Plane (not included in the Dating My Vibrator collection) was published by Crimespree Magazine. Venus Faded appears in the antholog Pronto!Writings from Rome, along with notable authors including: Dorothy Allison, Elizabeth Engstrom, Terry Brooks, and John Saul. Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers awarded her first prize in the Colorado Gold Writing Contest, and Maui Writers awarded her third prize in the Rupert Hughes writing competition.

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Please check out Ghost Plane and Other Disturbing Tales, eleven twisted stories about life, love and insanity.

The Stories:
Downhill
Rock Bottom
Not Nirvana
Dharma Dan
Dust of Souls
A Tiny Romance
Double Date
Phantom Love
Dating My Vibrator

Editorial Reviews

Review

Suzanne Tyrpak puts her experience as a divorcée entering the dating scene into words...The alternately hilarious and heartbreaking result of her efforts is Dating My Vibrator and Other True Fiction.
 --The Durango Herald--Ted Holteen

Honorable Mention from Red Adept, who says, "the writing style was terrific"
                                           --Red Adept Reviews

Nominated "Best Romantic Comedy--2010"
"a great way to spend a couple hours and compare notes
(if you have had to date after divorce in the modern age)."
     --The Romance Reviews

"Pure Comedic Brilliance." 5-stars from Joe Konrath

From the Author

•         Each of these stories is a marker on my road to recovery from a divorce. I wrote them over a five year period. Most of are funny--at least I think they are--but I tend to find humor even in dark situations. 
•         Some of the stories took me a long time to write and some just spilled out all at once. They're all fairly short. I'm a fan of flash fiction. Usually, I begin by writing the long version and then I cut, and cut some more, to get down to the bones, the essence. 
•         A couple of the stories are a bit off topic, but they're part of my experience during this time period and I think they round out the experience. All the stories reflect upon relationships--especially between men and women--a topic I find fascinating.
•         Thanks for reading!

 

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 132 KB
• Print Length: 52 pages
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B003XYFN5M
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #158,626 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Pure Comedic Brilliance October 5, 2010

By J. A. KONRATH TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Kindle Edition

Suzanne Tyrpak has created a truly unique collection of short stories in this offering. It seems impossible that one woman has had such misfortune in the world of online dating, but Suzanne's bad luck is our reading enjoyment. Please believe me when I tell you that books that are simultaneously this insightful and hilarious do not come along all that often. I write thrillers, I read thrillers, so for me to rave about a short story collection based in the world of online dating signals a truly unforgettable work. You simply have to read this.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I love Suzanne October 6, 2010

By Terry Silver

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

If I could, I'd give "Dating My Vibrator" six or more stars. It's that funny and that well written. I've been disappointed in the past by books written by women that were advertised as being humorous, which I thought were more silly than funny. Suzanne is witty, intelligent, and indomitable. My sympathies, Suzanne, regarding your disastrous dates. Couldn't help laughing though. I'm looking forward to other works by you. Talk about making lemonade out of the lemons in your life . . . how about making custard pies and throwing them at your dates?

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good vibes by Tyrpak January 20, 2011

By Dinahline

Format:Kindle Edition

Suzanne Tyrpak's Dating My Vibrator slides easily between joy and pain. I winced at some of her dating experiences mostly because I'd shared them. Why do we cut these bores so much slack? She made me feel I was in the restaurant with Mr. X willing him to like me. Some of the stories resonated more than others, but I bet readers will all find a few they like. Most made me laugh out loud.
Tyrpak is a skilled writer who won't disapoint.

More About the Author

Suzanne Tyrpak ran away from New York a long time ago to live in Colorado. When she's not working at Frontier Airlines or writing, she enjoys bike-riding, swimming, skiing, hiking, and dancing.

Working for an airline allows her to travel extensively and do research for her stories. She's been to Egypt, Greece, and Italy doing research for her novels. Suzanne says, "I like to smell the air, taste the food, see the light on the buildings, experience the people, and explore the setting I plan to write about."

Suzanne is interested in the daily lives of ancient people, especially the roles of women. Much has not been documented. In order to create that world, she steeps herself in fragments of writings, jewelry, and household goods--visiting museums and consulting her extensive collection of books. At Marlboro College she majored in Classic Theater (with a focus on ancient Greek plays) and ancient religions. Research for Hetaera included traveling to Athens and Delphi.

Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers awarded her first prize in the Colorado Gold Writing Contest for her novel, Sisters of the Nile. Maui Writers awarded her third prize in the Rupert Hughes writing competition for Agathon's Daughter. Hetaera is Book One in the Agathon's Daughter trilogy. Her debut novel, Vestal Virgin--Suspense in Ancient Rome, has garnered numerous glowing reviews. Suzanne has also epublished two short collections of (mostly contemporary) short stories: Dating My Vibrator (and other true fiction) and Ghost Plane and Other Disturbing Tales. Her short story Downhill was first published in Arts Perspective Magazine. Rock Bottom is published in the Mota 9: Addiction anthology, available on Kindle. Her short story Ghost Plane was published by CrimeSpree Magazine. Venus Faded appears in the anthology Pronto! Writings from Rome (Triple Tree Publishing, 2002) along with notable authors including: Dorothy Allison, Elizabeth Engstrom, Terry Brooks, and John Saul.

*New York Times bestselling author, Terry Brooks says about her writing: "...a writer of real talent...a promising new voice."
*New York Times bestselling author Tess Gerritsen says, "Suzanne Tyrpak weaves a spell that utterly enchants and delights. Her writing is pure magic."