DEAD(ish) [Kindle Edition]

Naomi Kramer (Author)

Book Description

Linda's had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won't tell her what he did with her body, and she can't find the stupid thing herself. There's only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

This is a very short work - novelette length - around 11000 words or 44 (print) pages.

Warning: Frequent foul language, mild sex scenes, and Australian spelling. Not suitable for children.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Mike says:
"It was accidental. Just believe me. We were arguing, she told me I #### like a jellyfish (what the ####?), and I slapped her. ####, wouldn't you? Nothin' much, if she'd been a bloke she'da laughed in my face. But she fell off her stupid stilettos. That's all she was wearing, see, just stilettos and a coating of oil. ######, she stank like a #####house. But she said that, and she smirked. It was the smirk what did for me, but it was the high heels what did for Linda. She went sideways and lost her balance on the tall, stupid spiky things and went down, smacking her head on that fancy 'occasional table' with a nice meaty thump.

"She died 12 or so hours later. In her sleep. We'd called a truce and gone to bed and ####ed and fell asleep. I woke up clutching a dead-cold cadaver that wouldn't move so I could take a pulse."


Linda says:
"My name's Linda. I'm dead. It sucks, OK? Especially because I'm dead for no good reason. I'm dead because my dumb#### boyfriend shot me and it hurt like hell and that's all I remember, to be honest. Until I woke up without a body. Now I know from books and movies that that's not the way it's supposed to happen. Well, in a way it is, right. But the ghost is always anchored by their bod, and they can't move too far away from it. Which implies that they know WHERE THE #### IT IS. Whereas, me? I don't know where my body is, and I'm not limited to any location. And for some reason, this is really important to me. I need to find my body. Maybe I need closure, or some ####. I don't know. I just need to. So I hired Trent. He'll find my body for me. I hope. If he doesn't, I'll fire his #### and haunt him in between haunting my ex-beloved and hiring someone with a clue."


Trent says:
"Everybody's lying their #### off, and it's really starting to get annoying."

Product Details

• File Size: 123 KB
• Print Length: 53 pages
• Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B003XVYJ2S
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,555 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
  • #13 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Genre Fiction > Horror > Ghosts

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

59 of 66 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Wickedly Funny September 23, 2010

By blondie

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

This novella is not intended for the easily offended, but for those who want to laugh out loud on a short but sweet ride through Naomi Kramer's story. See, Linda's dead...ish. She's dead but she's stuck around here because she can't find her body and her lousy, murdering boyfriend won't tell her where it is. So what's a gal to do? Haunt him `til gives up the location. I loved the answer. Some how the author manages to create a balance between horror and humor. It's a quick read, so if you have an afternoon to yourself, pull up Deadish and enjoy some "frequent foul language, mild sex scenes, and Australian spelling."

27 of 32 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Story for a Short Read, Even Re-Read for enjoyment, 5 stars March 15, 2011

By Cold In Seattle

Format:Kindle Edition

The formatting was perfect for the Kindle. Nary a grammatical nor sentence layout problem (not one worthy of highlighting, which I usually do.)

As one gets deeper into the book, one REALLY starts to relate to the characters involved with Linda - so paying close attention to parenthesized name changes is important, they all want to speak in the first person. Reads like a screen play, but I feel as if this is an original (can't really compare to any movie - but stand up British Comedy comes to mind). Since it revolves around characters and plots, not much in scene development - but doesn't distract from the story. I'm betting Naomi Kramer had a blast writing this short novella.

Formatting/Writing Style: 5 stars

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Character and Plot: Personally, I believe this was well written with the jumps in time points. I also appreciate British/Australian humor (okay, humour), and this book delivers. The language is appropriate for the fiction direction of the story, and the sex scenes are not THAT explicit. Development occurs throughout the book, and Linda does seem to be a bit ditzy (fickle minded?). I think there are some hormones left in there. Very good layout for a short story that jams some subplots to add mystery twists. The author is also respectful of different sexual orientations (be forewarned).

Character/Plot: 5 stars

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I received the book for free, but its worth 99 cents (maybe a little more). Certainly had more enjoyment than some of the Kindle Singles (shh, don't tell Amazon). Teaser Alerts: Mike isn't the only tormented soul in the story, and I love the play on words for the title.

The excerpt does not read as the same writing style, so I'm not sure of my reaction if I buy the second book. But do yourself a favor, buy yourself a little something.

22 of 27 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars When in doubt, see rule #1 August 20, 2010

By Christie

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

This story was absolutely delicious! Darkly funny, and not too long, it is perfect for a rainy day and a few hours of uninterrupted reading.
My favorite quote:

"New Rule #1 - Don't date women who paint. Arty-farty doesn't just equal freaky in the sack, it also equals nasty genius revenge."

Linda is not a woman to be trifled with, and I felt sorry for Mike, until...well, you'll have to read it for yourself! My lips are sealed.

More About the Author

Naomi is an Australian author living on Macleay Island, in south-east Queensland. She works in IT, and loves to play with the English language in her spare time. She's usually found sporting brightly-coloured hair and wielding a mug of coffee as though it's her last bastion against a comatose state.