Customer Reviews

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME? True Stories of New Motherhood

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Postpartum Doula Melanie Bowden shares a collection of new mother interviews in her new book "Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?" Aimed at debunking several motherhood myths, her book shows that life after pregnancy isn't all smiling babies and easy times. New moms from all walks of life share their experiences from being single and married, young and old, delivery at a hospital and at home, as well as both uncomplicated and surgical births. Further, each account has its own unique set of problems - mild to severe postpartum depression, breastfeeding issues, sleep deprivation, annoying visitors, post-delivery health problems, and more.

Bowden does well in bringing many problems to light, many of them embarrassing for the new mom to discuss. In each, the mother had never been made aware of the problems that could arise until she was actually experiencing them. Much of the disappointment in the book comes from an unrealistic expectation of delivery or babies and a lack of knowledge obtained during the pregnancy. Bowden notes that new moms can feel so much stress to be a `supermom' - being able to do it all - that they ignore the signs that they need help. Feeling like a bad mother, incompetent, or not worthy can keep problems locked inside and weigh heavily on the mom's mental state and relationships with her husband or family.

Although sometimes feeling like a 143-page commercial for doulas, "Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me?" is an informative book on the harsh realities of motherhood. Bowden includes further reading recommendations and urges those mothers that are experiencing similar problems to seek help. Motherhood is much more difficult than most imagine and moms-to-be and new mothers cannot overeducate themselves on the only certainty in child rearing - anything can happen.

--Vicki Landes, author of "Europe for the Senses - A Photographic Journal"

This book is so helpful because it reveals the UNtruths new mothers - all mothers, really - believe: that they have to be perfect, that it will be an easy and natural transition, that breastfeeding is pure bliss, or at least the finest bonding ever. The reality is, motherhood is a beautiful thing, a wonderful privelege and GIFT from God, but it is HARD! The first months are exhausting, bewildering, frustrating, and just plain hard. Read this book to find out you're not the only one struggling! It's hard for all of us. Melanie did a great job of exposing the myths and therefore validating all of us that we are doing the best we can and that is all we need to worry about.

Melanie Bowden details the differences in women's experiences of their first foray into motherhood with detail, insight, and compassion. Every woman's experience as a first-time mother is different, though there are also similarities. This book highlights both the differences and the similarities. Bowden could have written a dry synopsis of these mothers' stories, but she chose to let them speak for themselves, making the book more powerful. I would pass this book on to any new mother I know.

Melanie has taken many real life accounts of new mothers and given direction on how to handle their issues. Working with families all the time as a birth doula, I don't usually see the "other" side of birth - the newborn care. Now I have a resource to share with families having these problems.

A highly recommended book! Written clearly, it is a very realistic and informative book that will help many women understand better what they may be going through. Guys: if you love your wife and you're starting a family, don't hesitate a second: get her this book, as she'll surely appreciate it.

Need the perfect gift for a shower or a new mother? This is it! This book doesn't sugarcoat being a mom -- it tells it like it is from the perspective of several different women. Also, it gives valuable information and suggestions from other moms who have been in your shoes: ask for help, don't be afraid to ask questions, get a little time away from your newborn and pamper yourself.

Melanie Bowden captured the very essence of motherhood -- and why it's a difficult, yet most rewarding journey.