Customer Reviews

DSI--Date Scene Investigation: The Diagnostic Manual of Dating Disorders

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1 star:		(2)

 

 

Ian Kerner's book DSI is so anti-men that I thought the author MUST be a woman using a male pseudonym. I had to check Wikipedia to make sure "he" was really a guy. Far from being funny and insightful, the book paints ONLY men as the bad guys in failed or struggling relationships. Women who knowingly date and screw married guys so they can have the husband to themselves (ruining the marriage) are portrayed as victims when the husband fails to abandon his family. Women who use sex as a weapon to punish boyfriends or advance their careers with bosses (married or single) are modern, progressive women. Guys who fail to committ to marriage are snakes. At the end of a few chapters are good, solid comments about dating life in the modern era. But these are few and far between. Men "types" who lie about their dating motives with women are high lighted as Dating Fugitives. Not one single lying, two timing woman is accused of bad behaviour. The book is eye opening, if the case histories are true, into just how many modern women are interested in making money first and foremost. They have no intention of working 1/10 as hard to make a relationship work. And Dr. Kerner seems to have no problem with that. Pass on this book.

Kerner does a good job of giving a light hearted book of common dating problms. He discusses many different topics: bad timing, being stuck in the past, people who do not commit, getting comfortable too early in a relationship, dating metrosexual, and other topics. The book is styled as if each topic was a criminal investigation. Synopsis are given for each topic, both sides of the relationship are discussed, and a final summary/diagnosis is given at the close of the chapter.

I found that this light hearted treatment of each topic to be distracting. If you are looking for a book that is serious about the problems dating so often brings, you may be disappointed. Much of the space in the book is really given to humor, and I personally found this style to be distracting. If you are looking for a book that may give you some serious insight to dating, I would suggest looking a little longer. If you are looking for a book that offers a light hearted look at dating, this book is just what you are seeking.

This book's concept and title are a cute play on the popular CSI TV show, as is obvious. And the author is pinning hopes for the book's success on that gimmick, because once you get beyond that, there's not much to see here.

First of all, the very title of the book is deceptive. It should be called Relationship Scene Investigation and not Date Scene Investigation. The DSI title implies that the book is giving advice on how to behave on a first date and making a good impression and what activities to choose for dates, etc. There is none of that here. It's all discussion about the mistakes that people who are in serious relationships make.

As relationship books go, this one is pretty run-of-the-mill. You can get the same or better quality advice from hundreds of others, without the distraction of the gimmick concept. The people who serve as subjects of scrutiny in this book are not a cross-section of society. Most of them are the kind of people who might be characters on Friends or Ugly Betty: working in high-powered and/or glamorous careers, living in hip urban areas, and of course endlessly complaining about the minutiae of their relationships that they find dissatisfying, etc.

The book also seems to subscribe to the "Women Good, Men Bad" philosophy. The men are often portrayed as philandering, selfish, lazy pigs. There is an attempt to allocate an equal amount of criticism to women, but read it carefully. This criticism usually take the form of scolding the woman for having "unrealistic expectations". In other words, the problem with women is that they are so naive as to actually believe that a man might NOT be a philandering, selfish, lazy pig.

If you are an urban woman who is enamored with pop culture and male-bashing, you might enjoy this book enough to get your money's worth out of it. For others, follow the links and find something better.

This book is really unusual and interesting: it's written in the form of a series of case-studies that read like episodes of CSI, but are applied to dating. It's a fun way of looking at things, and the whole theme is that you shouldn't be a dating victim but rather an investigator. You can tell just from the table of contents if this book is going to be for you. Like the Case of the Guy Who Couldn't Commit, or the Case of the Boyfriend Who Might be Gay, these situations are either relevant or not. In the end, this was a fun way to read about dating and how to improve without being spoon-fed the usual checklists. The conceit gets a little thin, but not if you don't read it from start to finish, but pick the cases that apply most.

Just read the chapter on the Missing Boyfriend's Unit and you know that this book is different and usual. I love the glossary and all the terms like ARSE (Anti-Relationship Suspect Examinee) and NERD (National Evidence Relationship Database). I laughed out loud at all the terms and will surely use them in conversation, but hopefully they won't be necessary when I'm on a date!

I have read all of Ian Kerner's books, and he is truly a champion of women. This book is no exception and just what you'd expect from the author - funny, informative and practical. But it should be said that the format is really unique and different from any other dating book ever written. It's really easy to laugh at all of the people in the case-studies and to see a bit of yourself too. Usually dating books are always telling you what to do and what you're doing wrong and it's nice to read about other people and learn the lessons that way. My favorite chapter was the case-study on the boyfriends who got comfy too quickly.