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Damned [Hardcover]

Chuck Palahniuk
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (197 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 18, 2011
“Are you there, Satan? It’s me, Madison,” declares the whip-tongued thirteen-year-old narrator of Damned, Chuck Palahniuk’s subversive new work of fiction. The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a mari­juana overdose—and the next thing she knows, she’s in Hell. Madison shares her cell with a motley crew of young sinners that is almost too good to be true: a cheerleader, a jock, a nerd, and a punk rocker, united by fate to form the six-feet-under version of everyone’s favorite detention movie. Madison and her pals trek across the Dandruff Desert and climb the treacherous Mountain of Toenail Clippings to confront Satan in his citadel. All the popcorn balls and wax lips that serve as the currency of Hell won’t buy them off.

This is the afterlife as only Chuck Palahniuk could imagine it: a twisted inferno where The English Patient plays on end­less repeat, roaming demons devour sinners limb by limb, and the damned interrupt your dinner from their sweltering call center to hard-sell you Hell. He makes eternal torment, well, simply divine.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Damned:

"Palahniuk's 12th novel is just as gleefully, vividly, hilariously obscene as you'd expect —and it's also a hell of a lot of fun. [He] has always been known for his pitch-dark satire, and it's evident here in his depiction of the underworld.... As a young adult novel, it's surprisingly sweet, hopeful and empowering; as a satire, it's funny, irreverent and hugely entertaining. 'Hell is other people,' mused Sartre. Leave it to Chuck Palahniuk to tell us that might not be such a bad thing after all."—Michael Schaub, NPR


"Damned is as lively as a book about the dead can be....the Judy Blume book from hell, just as Mr. Palahniuk intended."—Janet Maslin, the New York Times


"And now, from the Well, What Did You Expect file: Chuck Palahniuk imagines a great hell.  His matter-of-fact underworld is the charming setting of Damned, a...very funny coming-of-age (after-you're-dead) novel....Palahniuk's descriptions of hell are inspired, crafted with great comic flair and the brilliant satirical stipulation that the Christian fundamentalists are right: Hell is literal, dinosaur bones were faked by Satan and among the unspeakable demons slurping about is Robert Mapplethorpe....[A] winning and funny book, and near the end, when Maddie seems to be ascending toward a sequel (Purgatory, anyone?), you'll likely want to read that one, too."—Jess Walter, Washington Post


"Damned is gross, sick, nasty, silly, all the things you want from the merry madman of American letters, Chuck Palahniuk. How can you not be instantly transfixed by an opening like this?: 'Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison. I'm just now arrived here, in Hell, but it's not my fault except for maybe dying from an overdose of marijuana.'
And so begins the kind of goofy, but hypnotically endearing tale of a 13-year-old girl who, completely lost in life, finally starts to discover herself in Palahniuk's demented version of the afterlife....With Damned, [he] opens the fire hose to full bore again, stripping away the veneer on American society and showing us the yucky parts we don't want to see."—Chris Talbot, AP


"...[T]horoughly original...satiric and horrifying, enough so you'll want to repent after you read."—Christian DuChateau, CNN


"Some Fight Club trademarks--youthful disaffection, violence, gross-out humor, a dystopic setting, cultural satire as an extreme sport, a decent helping of third-act pathos--can be seen in...Damned.  Even prepubescent Madison Spencer, the protagonist of Damned, has traits that could be seen as Tyler Durden-esque. She's disaffected from society (i.e., those still alive), she kicks serious butt and is a cultural critic who becomes an unlikely leader....It's hard to pitch the broadly satirical Damned as a useful replacement narrative of life after death, but it's a rollicking adventure of Swiftian proportions, a Valleyfair of the Underworld that, incidentally, shows an overweight teenage girl bringing Satan himself down a peg."—Claude Peck, Minneapolis Star-Tribune


"Damned is typical of Palahniuk's work: a scathing satire that is unfiltered, caustic and smart....[His] descriptions of hell are priceless."—Rege Behe, Pittsburgh Tribune Review


"Even just its first few chapters reveal several layers of satiric humor, social commentary, Grand Guignol violence and heartbreaking insight....The narrator's blend of snark, precocious wit and unconcealed vulnerability and need is a combination as refreshing as the book is hard to put down."—Bill O'Driscoll, Pittsburgh City Paper

About the Author

CHUCK PALAHNIUK’s eleven best-selling novels—Tell-All, Pygmy, Snuff, Rant, Haunted, Lullaby, Fight Club, Diary, Survivor, Invisible Monsters, and Choke—have sold more than five million copies in the United States. He is also the author of Fugitives and Refugees, published as part of the Crown Journey Series, and the nonfiction collection Stranger Than Fiction. He lives in the Pacific Northwest.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Doubleday; First Edition edition (October 18, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385533020
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385533027
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (197 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #34,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Chuck Palahniuk's novels are the bestselling Fight Club, which was made into a film by director David Fincher, Diary, Lullaby, Survivor, Haunted, and Invisible Monsters. Portions of Choke have appeared in Playboy, and Palahniuk's nonfiction work has been published by Gear, Black Book, The Stranger, and the Los Angeles Times. He lives in the Pacific Northwest.

Customer Reviews

Damned was one of the few books this year I stayed up late to finish reading. Reginald P. Linux  |  36 reviewers made a similar statement
I found the characters annoying and the story did not seem to go anywhere. Jose Arechederra Jr.  |  32 reviewers made a similar statement
The story is just weird, but the way he tells it is what makes it such a fun read. William Kennedy  |  14 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
63 of 68 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Stroll Through Hell October 18, 2011
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Chuck Palahniuk's books just keep getting weirder and weirder. I read and enjoy all of his novels, some more than others. "Pygmy" was a strange experiment, but unique and compelling nonetheless. "Tell-All" was a fun and enjoyable romp through the golden age of Hollywood, although it never quite became what it could have been.

And now, here is "Damned," a journey through hell (literally) with a sharp tongued and lovable young woman named Madison who died from...you'll have to read to find out, and it's not a marijuana overdose.

Frankly, this book is about as strange and bizarre as they come. The underworld is depicted as a place of grotesque monsters with lakes of sperm and mountains of toenail clippings. There were times when I thought this book was completely unclassifiable in any genre, forcing a new one to be invented. Afterlife Black Comedy.

"Damned," at its core, is a satire, and Chuck is at his best in skewering the affluent Hollywood lifestyle. Madison's parents are a movie star and a real estate mogul/business man who adopt children from war torn countries for the PR.

More importantly, in my opinion, is the writing, and Chuck breaks free from whatever has bound him over the last couple years and writes with an eloquence not seen since...well, maybe ever. Palahniuk has a very distinctive voice in his writing, all of his fans have gotten used to it, and look forward to it with each new book. But with "Damned," there is something more, a careful attention paid to craft more than story. The sentences flow artfully in Madison's voice and bring her to life with all her hopefulness and intelligence.

"Damned," is not a great book in the sense that it's a new classic, but I think it is a step in the right direction for Chuck. The story is just weird, but the way he tells it is what makes it such a fun read.

It's okay for books to be both fun and well written.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
The story is told by 13-year-old Madison Spencer, the chubby, unattractive daughter of billionaire parents who has found herself in Hell under the impression that she died from an overdose of marijuana. In the manner of Judy Blume, each chapter begins with a short 'prayer' or journal entry that always begins: "Are you there, Satan? It's me, Madison." In her trek through the Underworld, she meets a group of other eccentric stereotype-ish teens; a Jock, a Nerd, a Hot-Girl and a Punk (think 'The Breakfast Club').

As the book went on, I realized that this is the first of Palahniuk's books to follow a sort of 'adventure' narrative. While in nearly every chapter Madison relays some part of her history on Earth to the reader, a good deal of the tale is a journey of sorts through the landscape of Hell. And who better to give us a vision of the Valley of the Damned than Mr. Palahniuk? His description of Hell is both disgusting and kind of hilarious, with miles of cages for victims (that are easily broken out of), stale candy and popcorn balls strewn everywhere across the ground, and a geography made of every unpleasant human emission imaginable (huge mounds of fingernail clippings, a desert of dandruff, an ocean of fecal matter, a river of steaming-hot saliva, etc.).

The author also entertainingly peppers the story with famous figures who have been condemned and their activities in the afterlife. Madison runs into more than a few tyrannous leaders, celebrities, serial killers and Presidents, among others. The demons are surprisingly apathetic beings who can be sometimes bribed with candy bars to make one's eternal damnation slightly more manageable. However the pagan gods of the ancient world who also roam the territory are somewhat more troublesome, snatching victims out of a cage and eating them alive limb for limb, the victim only to regenerate and await the next bodily terror to befall them.

One of Palahniuk's more humorous additions is a sort of MVD-of-the-soul where the dead can make an appeal for their eternal state. But of course, it's Hell, so the clerks are demons and the paperwork could literally take forever to process.

Madison is a somewhat flat character and the fact that she is a 13-year-old dead girl is only slightly tapped into as far as her voice. However, the book is entertaining and has a surprising amount of ponderous material regarding life and death and eternity. And as always with Palahniuk, a satisfying amount of heavy satire on the human condition, specifically on the absurdity of Americans and the wealthy. Palahniuk also never fails to 'do his homework' and interweaves a good deal of interesting factual information into his stories, in this case it was mostly regarding famously evil people and the origins of obscure demons and pagan gods. Some may see this as just filler material, but for some reason I always enjoy it, and I think he includes it in a relevant way.

I can say I enjoyed Damned a good deal more than Chuck's past three works, Tell-All, Pygmy and Snuff. This is the closest he's come in a while to 'darker' material, which is what I've felt he's always been best at, with the satire being a complimentary element rather than the focus. And the man no doubt has quite an imagination, even if twisted at times. Even in his lesser works, there are always moments where you're thinking 'Where the heck does he get this stuff?!?'

Overall I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5, and would recommend it if... you're in the mood for something weird and honestly kind of gross.
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Much better than his last few books. November 7, 2011
Format:Hardcover
Maybe it's because my expectations of Palahniuk's work have been lowered so much after reading Snuff and Pygmy (didn't even bother with Tell All), but I consider this a decent book. Not his best, but I enjoyed it more than most parts of Haunted. I would give it 3.5 stars. Won't be throwing this one away, at least.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Damn Good Read
When I first found this book (being a longtime Palahnuik fan), I was worried that it would be childish due to the narrators young age. Fortunately I was wrong. Read more
Published 8 days ago by Courtney
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Entertaining
Chuck does a great job of capturing the thoughts and feelings of a 13 year old girl. 'Damned' is a very entertaining satire of Hell with great descriptions that force you to... Read more
Published 9 days ago by ATLien
2.0 out of 5 stars Plotless
A weak attempt at a modern version of Dante's Inferno. This work lacks direction and plot. Chuck Palahniuk puts his readers through hell with Damned.
Published 14 days ago by Warren Shady
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome work Chuck
Always been a huge fan of Chuck, ever since Fight club and Choke. Many people kinda dogged this book but i thought it was one of his best and didnt fall short of the imaginative... Read more
Published 17 days ago by Bobby Chrisman
1.0 out of 5 stars Tries Too Hard
Not Funny. Not Smart. Maybe you can use it to prop up an uneven table. Otherwise, save your money and your time. Read Dante or Swift instead.
Published 19 days ago by Naesmile
4.0 out of 5 stars Dark comedy :)
I love Chuck.
The entire book is written in the POV of a chubby, 13 year old girl, who talks about her experience going to Hell. Read more
Published 22 days ago by Pebs
4.0 out of 5 stars Judy Bloom for Adults
Palahniuk has mastered the art of dark comedy. Only he could take over-referenced 80s and 90s nostalgia and create something that is both comfortingly familiar and awkwardly... Read more
Published 25 days ago by MmmJello
4.0 out of 5 stars unique
I've never read anything like this before. Shocking and sometimes gross, but it kept me turning pages. This is a good read.
Published 26 days ago by S. Dalley
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny. Classic Palahniuk
If you are a fan of Palahniuk, you will enjoy this book. It is not my favorite of his, but it has all of the elements of his style that are enjoyable. Read more
Published 1 month ago by megwheels
3.0 out of 5 stars Just not for me
I like unusual books but this started out a bit too weird for me. I thought that it got better towards the middle, and it did keep my interest, but I wasn't a fan of the ending... Read more
Published 1 month ago by LauraVZ
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Sounds suspiciously like another recent book about dead children in the...
Oh, there is a lot of suspicious stuff going on here. Like, for instance, that evident portions of this were culled from unknown young writers submitting their stories to the Palahniuk online workshop for inclusion in a Palahniuk sponsored anthology of stories that never materialized. After the... Read more
Jan 5, 2012 by Michael T. |  See all 3 posts
marijuana overdose?
It's a satire on the Judy Blume novels and After School Specials. The. Is information is deliberate and for comedic purposes.
Aug 11, 2011 by Harvey D. Scheller |  See all 11 posts
When dreams come true?
Do you mean What Dreams May Come? All I can find for When Dreams Come True is a 1984 TV movie about a museum guide who predicts murders. I guess there are some similarities to What Dreams May Come in that Robin Williams' character visits Hell, but the story, setting, and characters in Damned are... Read more
Nov 11, 2011 by Sarah |  See all 2 posts
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