Customer Reviews

Dancing in Limbo: Making Sense of Life After Cancer (Jossey Bass/Aha Press Series)

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"Limbo: A region on the border between hell and heaven where those who are not responsible for their fate await judgment day." "Limbo: A dance of West Indian origin...[that] requires strength and flexibility."

So begins this interesting treatise on the psychology of survivorship, written by a dedicated pair of women, both survivors and both human development experts. For any number of cancer patients, the day will come, Halvorson-Boyd and Hunter explain, when all the Ivs have been pulled out, and the doctor has said, "You don't have to see me again." The fantastic focused determination that carried the patient through treatment is no longer needed and now comes the time- one would think - for that sigh of exquisite relief and return to normal life. Why is it then that so many in this position go home and fall apart? Why is it that life never really does return to normal? In a discourse that is part sharing of experience, part theorizing, the authors unpack these issues for us, outlining the stages survivors typically pass through and the strategies most effective in arriving at a new balance. Accessibly written with many memorable phrases from the authors and other survivors interviewed for the book. Will appeal to: Survivors, of course, especially intellectualizers nagged with unresolved anxiety. Also a good book for counselors and therapists.

When you visit the health section of your local bookstore, you'll find a plethora of information about getting through a cancer diagnosis, and very little about how to adjust to life after cancer. As the founder of a cancer support group, I believe that survivors are leaving our hospitals in droves - unprepared.

When a cancer patient "graduates" from treatments, she might exit the hospital floor amidst claps, cheers, and balloons. Her loved ones can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief, for she is out of the worst danger. Everyone wants to celebrate and get on with LIFE!

But the feelings inside the patient leaving the crisis behind may be those that she never expected: anxiety, fear, uncertainty, confusion. She leaves the constant medical care that has saved her life. She leaves attachments that grew when she was under incredible stress. She enters a world where everything is okay, but she doesn't feel okay. What does she do next? What meaning can she add to her life after all of this? How does she make sense of everything that she has learned because of cancer? How does she relate now to her healthy friends when she feels tired, hurting, different, or disabled? These are the issues cancer survivors dance with for the rest of their lives.

This book addresses, in a personal and realistic way, the effects of cancer on our lives - after treatment is finished. The authors interviewed dozens of cancer survivors and received the candid responses that you'd expect from those who have been through it all and want to help others.

One of the most interesting parts of the book for me was the discussion of how people handle trauma psychologically. It helped me understand the different approaches we each take to cope and make sense of a cancer crisis. I am now more accepting of others who view their cancer experience in a different light than I view mine.

I also came to a deeper awareness of how my cancer affected my loved ones, how the process of dealing with diagnosis and treatment is so different for them than for the patient. This showed me why my loved-ones may not fully understand, or want to think about, what life *after* cancer is like for me.

As an osteosarcoma survivor, the one negative thing I can say about this book is that when I got to the end, I realized there is one chapter missing. It applies to those of us who are dealing with significant physical disabilities or pain after cancer. But most survivors don't necessarily face this challenge, so I understand why the chapter isn't there.

If you love someone who is finishing treatment, or if you have finished treatment within the last few years, I urge you to buy this book. It may be more expensive than the other books out there, but it is SO worth it. This is the perfect cancer graduation gift! Just giving someone this book shows them that you understand their battle for a full life doesn't end with treatment. I wish I could give it to every survivor I know.

You are diagnosed with cancer. Full of fear and grief, you face the prospect of a slow, painful death. You take treatment and, to your joy, it is successful. The cancer is gone and might not come back. Gratefully, you pick up the pieces of your life and try to start again. But it isn't easy.

It is at this point, say authors Glenna Halverson-Boyd and Lisa Hunter, that you enter limbo, the region between two extremes where you wait to see if you will live or die. The two authors, both survivors of serious cancers, throw out all the cliches and take a fresh look at the defence mechanisms patients use to cope with their fear. How can cancer patients face this fear of recurrence squarely and make sense of a life where the knowledge of death is always present? How can they relate to friends and family who have not had to face their own mortality?

The powerful last chapter ends on a note of joy, but it is no glib conclusion. This is a joy that has been earned by enduring the grief of "waking up in limbo" and learning to "dance" in the full realisation that death is part of life and in fact gives life its meaning.

Halverson-Boyd and Hunter are both health professionals. This gives their book authority but the way they share their personal stories and those of their interviewees, makes the book resound in the mind of this cancer survivor.

For all cancer survivors who are struggling with fear of recurrence, for all who try to counsel them or support them, this book is not to be missed!

I was introduced to Dancing In Limbo at a cancer conference in 1995 after I had been diagnosed with colon cancer. The whole conference environment was "Dancing in Limbo". It made my family wake up to the emotional devastion I was facing. I realized I was limbo, and I needed to move on. At this conference, I was inspired by the authors of Dancing In Limbo, and I was able to have a life after cancer. To this day, I highly recommend this book to every new diagosed person I meet. After reading this book, I knew it was the "Dance of Life"! (5 1/2 years later I am still living the dance!)

This book should be given to all cancer patients, caregivers and family members during cancer treatment. It details thoughts and feelings you will have, but never imagined and ways to deal with them. There should be more books out there like this one. There is definitely a need for them! If I would have read this book during my treatment, it would have saved me a lot of money on therapy and antidepressants afterwards! The answer to surviving cancer and enjoying your life that follows is in this book! It is honestly the most helpful book I have read. God bless the authors!

After being diagnosed with cancer when I was 25 and also not personally knowing any cancer survivors, especially my age, I was so glad to find this book. I thought after the treatments were over and I was in remission I would feel normal, but instead I felt worse with depression, fear and anxiety. I thought I was just being ungrateful. I found this book and realized I was normal! So many told the same story as what I had been feeling. I never knew all those feelings were normal until I found this book. I recommend this book to every cancer survivor I meet. It helped me more than anything. I even dislike reading books and had never in my life read a complete book from front to back until I got this book. I read every page in less than two weeks and have went back through it over and over! Every survivor needs this book!!!

Thank you so much for this wonderful book! I have been a caregiver for my husband for the past 9 months. Once he got a "clean" bill of health I didn't know what to do with myself. I thought I was going crazy! You take charge and be the rock for so long and then all of the sudden you don't have to do all this stuff anymore. I went and saw a counselor at the cancer center and explained what I was feeling. She said I was right on schedule and I wasn't crazy. She suggested this book and I tell you what it was a life saver!!!!! Everytime I would be going through a moment I would read the book and I was right on schedule!!!! Scary!!!! I would recomend it to anyone who is dealing with life after cancer. Thank you so very much!!!!!! Peggy Coffey

It was a relief to find the jumble of powerful, conflicting emotions I'd been feeling put down into words by total strangers. Since my chemo finished, my friends and family were overjoyed and relieved, but all I felt was overwhelming sadness and fear with a far greater intensity than I'd experienced throughout my treatment phase, and this book was extremely helpful in my sorting out these emotions and letting me move on to my new post-diagnosis life. While the second half of the book works too hard to support their limbo/cancer connection and seemed to only repeat previous material in a different format, the first two chapters alone are worth the price of the book.

I can't remember who suggested this book to me while I was recovering from surgery and radiation for liposarcoma in my leg. It must've been someone from my online support group.
At the time I was physically recovering but mentally I had stalled and I couldn't understand why. Everything had gone as well as possible but still I was just moving in slow-motion, numb and kind of confused.
This book has a few basic elements that will apply to everyone who has been affected by cancer, the most important being that you will never find the old "normal" again, and that's why so many survivors feel lost during their recovery. Your old goal is gone but this book will help shed some light on the process, how it works, how it affects people and how you are not alone in your feelings.

This book made all the difference to me when I finished my first rounds of chemotherapy back in 1998. Glenna and Lisa help make sense of the conflict we feel when our "active" role in fighting cancer is over, when we feel abandoned by our doctors and support networks.

I've recommended this book many times to others currently in treatment, and they are astounded that they could ever "miss" going for their weekly chemo. Incredibly, the feeling is very common! I like to go back to the book on occasion myself; although I've been in active treatment for 3 years now, there are still times I find myself reaching for the wisdom and clarity that Glenna and Lisa bring to what is a bizarre, scary, demoralizing time.

Highest recommendation!