Customer Reviews

Dancing Queen: The Lusty Adventures of Lisa Crystal Carver

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I was late coming into touch with Lisa Carver. _Dancing Queen: A Lusty Look at the American Dream_ (Henry Holt) was published five years ago, and I didnt know it. I got to know her writing from her uninhibited diary entries at the fine adult site Nerve.com (The Community of Thoughtful Hedonists). So, I was glad to take a look into _Dancing Queen_ in order to understand the past of this peculiar woman. It is a slim volume of her essays on white trash, kissing, other ladies bodies, and more. It is enormous fun. Whats nice is that as different as Lisa is from anybody, she is happy and optimistic. Ive done lots of stupid things, but Ive enjoyed myself. _Dancing Queen_ is about _liking_ stuff. Its about how pleasing it can be to be poked and probed  by the hairdresser, by the gynecologist, by killer bears, by the thirty-six-year-old ski instructress in _Princess Daisy_. She is impatient with those who dont have fun; she cannot comprehend a whole essay by a woman who was upset that some men hooted at her, for instance. I _like_ to be hooted! She gives us rants that certainly are self-indulgent, but you cannot expect anything different from someone who indulges herself with such lewdness, shamelessness, and fun.

Not only are her opinions odd, but it is obvious she enjoys getting them into words. In the chapter about her sensual enjoyment of a trip to the gynecologist (It is the _illicit_ pleasure caused by _necessary_ procedures performed by _removed_ professionals that gets my temperature rising.), she says that a certain kind of girl likes a visit to the gynecologist as much as Christmas: It only happens once a year and she gets lots of things she wants. She skips to the clinic while visions of speculums dance in her head. She gushes over the ghost-written novels of perfect specimen Fabio (Hes always mentioning condoms in his pirate books) and informs us that They contain bold lines like:

1. I am a man of the sea. 2. Go hide in the fields, woman. 3. Mayhaps she thinks I am doing something bad.

It was this sort of literature that fired her pre-adolescent fantasies: At twelve, I had as much sex drive as the entire U.S. Army and absolutely no idea what to do with it. Not to worry; she has since learned. They sold me a roadmap to ecstasy covered in highways of trouble, and I couldnt wait to visit every site on the map.

Lisa is hilarious when discussing just a trip to the hairdresser, or K-Mart, or Olivia Newton John, but the best chapter in the book is entitled An Iron Fist in a Polyester Glove: Lawrence Welk. What is he doing here? Well, when Lisa was little, To me, the constant, ultra-close-ups of moist-lipped, moist-eyed, soft-bosomed lady singers lined up side by side in matching outfits like chickens to be plucked were an open call to perversion. She has since made an extensive study of Lawrences several autobiographies, where she must have learned that he originally picked up an accordion and set out to conquer the world, as Lawrence Welk & His Hotsy Totsy Boys. While she doesnt gloss over Lawrences famous temper, she finds, surprisingly, a kindred spirit, someone who had a dream: extreme close ups of _nice_ people singing nice songs and dancing anachronistic dances against insanely cheerful backdrops. Its a beautiful dream!

This isnt for everyone. Lisa is frank, naughty, and lustful. She throws sexual fantasies in even when discussing a sequence of post-Glasnost Russian leaders. If you like smart people who write enthusiastically well, and if you appreciate that to be peculiar is also to be interesting, this is certainly worth a look. Oh, and hot off the Lisa Diaries on Nerve.com: Lisa is trying to get pregnant again. That kid is going to have plenty to think about.

Lisa Carver, as a writer, makes it okay for us to embrace every part of ourselves. I think she is a better role model for teen girls that people like Brittney Spears could ever be. She understands herself, her sexuallity, and the world we live in (for the better and the worse). She takes the shame out of being poor, and encourages you to enjoy life. I could only call her inspirational.

I admit to being insanely jealous of Lisa Carver. In the first place, she is getting a lot more sex than I am. In the second, she writes better than I do, too. Even though we grew up at opposite ends of the country (she in New Hampshire and me in Alabama), my own rural upbringing makes it easy for me to relate to her tales of the White Trash subculture. I know those K Marts and ''Lawrence Welk Show'' reruns too well. And what makes me even more jealous is that she has no formal training as a writer. She has only the hard-knocks experience of producing a 'zine. Her chapter on the difference between K Mart and Wal-Mart alone is worth the purchase price (even if I'm a Wal-Mart partisan, myself). The insanely brilliant discussion of the sado-masochistic undertones of Lawrence Welk is just an added bonus. I came away from ''Dancing Queen'' with a newfound respect for Trailer Trash -- even if I still have no intention of dating any.

Ask people what books have changed their lives and you're likely to get a whole bunch of sheep extoling the virtues of Tuesdays with Morrie, or something equally sad and boring with an obvious "moral of the story".

Well, to hell with that mundane, depressing business-in the words of the Bee Gees, you should be dancing! Dancing Queen is a joyous testament to really LIVING life. Lisa's wild, adventurous tales are hilarious and inspiring. Lisa breaks down preconcieved notions and societal norms to reveal an world teeming with delicious possibilities. As Carver herself said, Dancing Queen is a book about having fun. And what fun it is!

Lisa 'Suckdog' Carver is the crazy antidote to Gen X apathy. She is excited by, and loves, everything, up to and including pap smears and Russian politicians. This very slight tome is a selection of writings from her zine 'Rollerderby' (nothing to do with the sport, more her crazy love of all things late 70's/80's). She may have made some very questionable life choices - shacking up and having a baby with a guy who has an - ahem - unhealthy obsession with the losing side of World War II - but that's a whole different book. "Drugs Are Nice", to be specific.) She is one passionate, positive and lusty chick who sounds like she'd be great fun to watch horror movies and go shoplifting with.

it'll rock your socks...and you know you got your socks at k-mart...

Sometimes if you don't put any effort into your work (a la punk rawk!) the reader is left wondering, "....why am I putting effort into reading this?"

After devouring 'Drugs are Nice' I put this on hold at the local library. THANK YA JESUS!!!
All I can say is it's PAP written for god knows who. Lisa's too weird to appeal to 13 year old girls or the Oprah Winfrey Crowd ...yet that's exactly who this book appears to be aimed at. Or something. I dunno...Oprah probably would never be caught dead with this. I just mean compared to Drugs Are Nice. 'Dancing Queen' seemed sloppy, not well thought out or edited, sugary sweet to the point of sickness, and totally contradictory and pointless.

I know it's considered 'being real' to contradict yourself in some circles but in the end...if you've covered every single angle of all things...again, WHY AM I READING YOUR BOOK? You are not making a point or even expressing very interesting or unique ideas. You're just fluttering around in circles and after awhie nothing you say seems real or relevant because you'll just be heartfully endorsing the 'other side' in a few pages. It's tiring, somewhat pointless drivel.

Even the publicity photo on the back makes me sick. 'Cashing in on my name' is dead on! Tiny little 1/2 assed incomplete thoughts about random celebrities and news events from 10 years ago? Ughhhh. It's like stuff you can get on any internet forum archive for free now-a-days. Except in hardback.

We all know you're punk rock Lisa Crystal Carter. I guess. But everything about the actual book screams young adult paperback. Like the kind on the little metal rotating thing in the corner that spins around and is filled with junk. Maybe it's a big joke on the reader? Like, "Haw haw haw! I wrote a crappy book in one take and it was published!" (?) Who knows. Anyways, stick to the group written 'Drugs Are Nice'. Way better.

after i purchased this book (and rollerderby) my friends started looking at me funny. when they'd say lets go shopping i'd say "GREAT! $2 tube tops from kmart..maybe a pink lawn flamingo." anyway there so kitchy-fab! put them on the shelf next to yer pagan kennedy books.

My 1 Star Rating is strictly about the reading material itself, NOT the condition of the book, or the service, which was all good.
I would definitely order books again through this dealer, just not anymore by Lisa Carver!
The reviews for it sounded like some fun reading, but I got bored before page 25, even, no good.
Maybe this book was a fluke, but I'm not paying 1 cent for anymore by her to find out.
There's SO MUCH treasure out there to read, no time for the drivel.