Dancing on Quicksand: A Gift of Friendship in the Age of Alzheimer's [Paperback]

Marilyn Mitchell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 2002

Hired to create adventures for an elderly business luminary named David, who no longer drives but is still vibrant and tenacious, author Marilyn Mitchell soon discovers that David is in the early stages of dementia.

The stories from their years together are humorous, heartbreaking, exasperating, and joyous. No sentimental tale of hopeless tragedy, "Dancing on Quicksand" is a spirited, often rollicking memoir that builds around the themes of adventure, the evolution of a sustaining friendship, and the life-lessons Mitchell learns from a man who is losing his brilliant mind. "Dancing on Quicksand" unveils the universal nature of truth and respect while demonstrating that even in troubled times there are abundant opportunities for laughter and for understanding the essence of being human.

Although "Dancing on Quicksand" is not an instructional guide for supporting those who have dementia, a cache of practical advice can be gleaned from its pages--innovative ideas about how to cope with what can be described fairly as an epidemic.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Johnson Books (June 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1555663214
• ISBN-13: 978-1555663216
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #668,516 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Best Seller, July 14, 2002

By 

Bonnee L. Oderberg - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Dancing on Quicksand: A Gift of Friendship in the Age of Alzheimer's (Paperback)

Marilyn Mitchell teaches us a compelling lesson. Regardless of a person's mental or physical condition, there are always means to express love, to exhibit respect, to offer support and to nurture. Mitchell always finds a way, in spite of David Touff's persistent slide into dementia. She captivates the reader as she recollects their "adventures" together. She encourages David to continue to savor the magnificence of life, in spite of his progressing disability, and in turn, he responds by dazzling her with his spontaneous moments of brilliant lucidity. The difficult challenges of life are recounted in their "dance" together, although she never fails to find grace in each hour she spends with him. This, in spite of the fact that during their eight years together, David has never recalled her name. Marilyn Mitchell teaches us about dignity and the grandeur of the human spirit. She is an inspiration. I didn't want this book to end.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly fresh and touching, July 1, 2002

By 

Nick Lawrence (Chantilly, VA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dancing on Quicksand: A Gift of Friendship in the Age of Alzheimer's (Paperback)

A friend recommended this book to me, and after seeing what it was about, my first reaction was to pass. I was expecting a heavy and depressing memoir about caring for the aging. In fact, it's a sprightly and life-affirming story about the continuity of love. First of all, David Touff is no ordinary dementia patient. He has lived a remarkable life as a businessman, community leader, and world traveler, and his kindness, sense of humor, and vitality are keenly observed and vividly brought to life. Even more importantly, author Marilyn Mitchell is no ordinary caregiver. Mitchell was originally hired to provide "adventures" for David, and these adventures, which take place throughout the city of Denver, keep the narrative fluid and interesting. She repeatedly engages David with a remarkable zest and creativity that is both a lot of fun to read about and an outstanding example for people caring for a friend or relative suffering from dementia. Mitchell always gives David the benefit of the doubt, and where other people might dwell on what he can't do or remember, she always finds a surprising cogency and consistency with his core personality.

What emerges in the end is the story of an improbably intimate relationship between two very different people. Dementia is a disease that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but I came away from this book less afraid of it than I used to be. I know now that love between two people can persist in the face of severe memory loss.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This a story of love and respect for human kind., July 17, 2002

By 

Gwen Domenico (Littleton, CO United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dancing on Quicksand: A Gift of Friendship in the Age of Alzheimer's (Paperback)

After reading this beautiful book, it stayed with me for days. I laughed, cried, and shuddered (see Riding the Light Rail vignette, page 64) but couldn't put it down. David's struggle with Alzheimer's validates my own mother's story and the challenges we had in finding good care for her. Even the title connected with me. My mother loved to dance and one of the dearest memories I have toward the end was dancing with her in the kitchen of the group home to "String of Pearls." How blessed David was to have Marilyn in this part of his life, and how blessed I feel having read their experience. What a gift she has for being so perceptive and seeing such love and beauty in human kind. Thank you Marilyn Mitchell for sharing that gift!