Customer Reviews

Dandelion on My Pillow, Butcher Knife Beneath (Coping With Personal Problems)

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

It is an eye opener to the reality of living with deeply abused and disturbed children. The encouragement it gives to all of us who struggle with difficult behaviour in children is immeasurable, giving hope where there is none. Nancy and her family write so openly and honestly about their experiences sharing their triumphs over attachment disorder.I would highly recommend any who is involved with abused children to read this real life account.

My husband & I are parenting children like the ones Nancy talks about in her book, & her story was an inspiration to us...an inspiration of endurance! Some days, it is hard to comprehend living with such children for yet another day, but Nancy empowers us parents of RADs to persevere & persevere with hope, joy, & love. Her methods have been extraordinarily beneficial to our children, & I think I would have collapsed by now without knowing that someone else out there does indeed understand.

Nancy's books are vital, as some states (like mine) have ZERO resources for RAD. We needed to be validated. We needed to know we're not alone, & if her books serve no other purpose, they serve those.

True, like others have said, some of the language is hard to read through. It can be far to "flowery" at times & sounds like a high school writing student who's been urged repeatedly to use "descriptive imagery." Well, in a book about RAD, most readers don't care what the mountains or leaves looked like, but considering the weight of most of the content, the unbearable descriptions can be forgiven (or skipped over).

Bravo! Bravo! EVERY RAD parent should read this book (as well as Nancy's other books)!

Unfortunately, those that give this book a negative review are sadly mistaken regarding what is involved in RAD therapy. TRUE holding therapy is NOT holding a struggling child down while he or she screams in rage. Holding therapy is very gentle, where a child is held lovingly like an infant is. Mother and child make eye contact and mother sings or tells child stories. I have seen holding therapy and when a child is healing, it is a beautiful, powerful thing to all involved. Further more, although Nancy Thomas' techniques for parenting and therapy are non-traditional it is done with the child's safety as priority. Until you live it or work with it, you will never understand it. Do more research. Nancy Thomas may not be a scholar writer but she knows what she is talking about!

I liked this book because it helped me to understand how kids with attachment disorder might feel and think. It was interesting to get both sides of the story, too. I bought more copies to give to family members that are having a hard time understanding the disorder (two of my children also have a severe attachment disorder). Reading this book also helped me to know what kind of parenting is required to help these kids. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about an attachment disorder. It was reccomended to me by therapists and other mental health professionals. It's very easy to understand.

This book was sadly wonderful. We have an adopted son, now almost 21 years old, whose behaviors we could see in many of the examples. I could really identify with the frustrated, worn-out mothers. I marvel at Nancy's strength. She should be right up there with Mother Teresa. I just wish I could have had the book to read about 20 years ago. This is a MUST READ for anyone who has dealt with a child who has an attachment disorder. I must have my own copy for reference and to share with others.

I bought this book out of an interest in RAD and alternative parenting/therapies. The book detailed a good deal of Nancy Thomas' strategies and frustrations, and just getting a glimpse of what happened to some of those kids made me aware and horrified.

Unfortunately, a bare glimpse was all I could get out of it. I realize that with serious subject matter, the end message can carry more weight than the way it is represented, but the format and especially the editing/writing style was highly distracting. I would gladly have reflected more on and appreciated these kids' stories and the little victories in them, particularly Beth's (which happened also to be the clearer one), but I had to dig for them in a LOT of flowery language and glaring, repeated typos ("who's" for "whose" & an apostrophe for plurals, for example.)

I would rather have read even something that sounded a bit drier than something that tried so hard to bring out the "dandelions." Good books usually use strong and concise words to carry the meaning and the sense without resorting to gushing or cliches.
If, like me, you are a reader who needs to get into the muscles of the words to read, you may be distracted by these.

A previous review compared the writing quality to that of Danielle Steele. It's not that bad, but it's close. This is only my opinion as I dislike this particular style, but if you write like a romance novelist about a serious topic, you risk romanticizing it into a "Lifetime-esque" issue when it is much more grueling than that. Others, though, might not have this problem. I guess I'm dependent on the language as well as the action to get through a story.

I really do feel for the courageous children profiled in this book, and Nancy Thomas is to be commended for her determination and longsuffering. However, I think Terena Thomas could have used an editor to make the story stronger, the words reflecting the struggle inherent in raising an emotionally troubled child. That way, this important issue could be appreciated by more people.

It is a compelling story, but poorly written and completely unedited
Nancy Thomas tells more about herself than she knows. She comes off as a very insecure, neurotic woman who tries to fill her emotional void by taking in too many kids.

This is a great book for the many of us who have adopted children who have seriously troubled backgrounds and for those who are considering adopting children with attachment issues.

I must admit, however, that the editing of this book (and her others, as well as her videos) leaves little to be desired. It could be a much easier read if the editing were better. This is the only reason I couldn't give her book five stars.

That said...the meat of her book is there, and right on. Unlike the first reviewer, I didn't see any indication that Nancy used the old style of holding. Those who are educated in attachment therapy understand the misuse of "holding therapy" as it has been widely publicized. That said, the Attachment Center (where Nancy Thomas got her training) is not using this type of holding. AND children are healing!

This book is not for the weak, there are some very disturbed children who have come through Nancy's doorway, and their successes have proven difficult, but not impossible.

Though her techniques are used for deeply disturbed children, families who have children with attachment issues can take a look at her therapeutic parenting style and learn from it.

The American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children convened a task force on Attachment Therapy/Parenting because of the numerous high profile criminal child abuse and death cases associated with these practices. The task force found (in the journal *Child Maltreatment* Feb 2006) that the parenting method that Nancy Thomas promotes is "inappropriate for all children" and recommended child welfare workers investigate where it is used as "suspect abuse." (Thomas is mentioned by name in this report.) The American Psychological Association adopted the APSAC task force's recommendations and findings.

This is clearly a professional condemnation of Attachment Therapy/Parenting, for which Thomas as been a "leading blight."

This is a great book for the many of us who have adopted children who have seriously troubled backgrounds and for those who are considering adopting children with attachment issues.

I must admit, however, that the editing of this book (and her others, as well as her videos) leaves little to be desired. It could be a much easier read if the editing were better. This is the only reason I couldn't give her book five stars.

That said...the meat of her book is there, and right on. Unlike the first reviewer, I didn't see any indication that Nancy used the old style of holding. Those who are educated in attachment therapy understand the misuse of "holding therapy" as it has been widely publicized. That said, the Attachment Center (where Nancy Thomas got her training) is not using this type of holding. AND children are healing!

This book is not for the weak, there are some very disturbed children who have come through Nancy's doorway, and their successes have proven difficult, but not impossible.

Though her techniques are used for deeply disturbed children, families who have children with attachment issues can take a look at her therapeutic parenting style and learn from it.