Customer Reviews

Dangerous Friend: The Teacher-Student Relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism

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This book is an excellent introduction to the practice of vajra commitment (samaya or damtsig), which is an essential part of Vajrayana Buddhism but is very much misunderstood in the West. Rig'dzin Dorje, a Western lama and the disciple of a Western lama, clearly presents the nature of this crucial relationship from the point of view of both the lama and the disciple, including the responsibilities each takes on toward the other. The author also describes and demonstrates, in a beautiful and inspiring way, why students continue to enter into this relationship and why it is necessary for success on the Vajrayana path.

This is a fascinating book about a fascinating subject: the teacher-student relationship in Vajrayana Buddhism. The author, who is both a student and a teacher himself, is a passionate advocate of vajra relationship and he presents a well-written, well-researched discussion of how this relationship has functioned over the centuries as the most important method of practice in Vajrayana. Rig'dzin Dorje presents numerous anecdotes, both historical and from his own experience, illustrating the power and effectiveness of this style of teaching. His devotion to his own teachers is eloquent and touching, and his writing style is erudite and entertaining at the same time.

Most books on the teacher-student relationship constitute dull exercises in being cautious and sensible above all. In contrast, Rig'dzin Dorje encourages us to reach for the stars. I really enjoyed this book.

Rig'dzin Dorje's 'Dangerous Friend' is long overdue--a book about the mechanics of the teacher-student relationship in Tibetan Buddhism, approached from the student's perspective, in accessible plain English. It is clear that he writes with intimate knowledge of both the working details of this kind of relationship, and the Western culture from which we approach it. There has been so much hyperbole around this issue that it is a relief to find a sane voice willing to offer some personal experience and sensible rationale, rather than merely scriptural citation.

The author has done the world of Vajrayana Buddhism a true service by writing this book. I knew early on in the book that I was going to enjoy it immensely. The kind, respectful, gentle way the author speaks about his teachers, and how they in turn speak of their teachers, was really inspiring. To me, that type of relationship with one's teacher(s) is the distilled essence of the Vajrayana Path.

About his teachers, he says, "...the debt I owe them for the entire content and quality of the life I now lead. This is a debt which, in the nature of Vajrayana, cannot be less than total. It will always remain beyond the possibility of repayment. This is a typical Tantric paradox--a debt that buoys me up rather than weighing me down."

The author speaks of the Dalai Lama of Tibet telling us we can take up to 13 years to decide if a certain teacher is right for us. Rigdzin Dorje says a Teacher-Student relationship is not something to be entered into lightly. Once you do accept a teacher, the commitment should be complete.

When the activities of the teacher are inconsistent with your particular viewpoint, Dorje states, "However incomprehensibly the teacher may behave, always maintain pure perception, and recognize his way of doing things as skillful means. Pure vision means viewing the vajra master as continuously acting for the benefit of beings, and regarding all of his or her behavior as manifestations of unceasing enlightened activity. The vajra master represents the completion of the path in person."

Whether you are a long-time Varayana practitioner, or someone who is seriously thinking of choosing a teacher, or even someone who interested in this particular path, I highly recommend this book.

Even though I'm enamored of the Nyingmapa school and highly idealize the student-teacher relationship traditional to several different religions, I found this book to be highly dissatisfying -- even maddening. I was expecting to read a nice devotional book from the Nyingmapa perspective that would make it easier for me to explain the student-teacher relationship as positive and essential for spiritual growth. Instead, the book's tone was so strident, confrontational, and (it seemed to me) uncompassionate that I found myself questioning whether Buddhism was the benevolent religion I had taken it to be, and whether perhaps the student-teacher relationship shouldn't be reformed!

The book is heated and polemical, pretty much baldly asserting that anyone who disagreed with its central argument did so because they had serious karmic problems that would land them in vajra hell. If it were possible to know that this was the case, it would be one thing -- but to assert that it's true across the board, that one is all but certain that the only reasons *anyone* would have to disagree with one are damning personal flaws instead of genuinely bad experiences or some kind of potentially-innocent misunderstanding -- that's too much to put the reader's plate. It's not credible, and it comes off as unnecessarily cruel and unreflective.

It would be exactly like a Christian fundamentalist saying that the only reason that anyone rejected Christianity was because of an obstinacious and sinful inclination to be their own God -- a great polemic, but is the actual state of affairs really so uniform and easily diagnosed? Are there no exceptions? Does no one ever have a positive (if misguided) reason for coming to independent conclusions?

It seemed to me as if the author is completely unaware that some students have been abused, or, if he is aware, that he's unwilling to accept any diagnosis of the situation which makes it anything other than the student's fault. This is not healthy in any tradition, and it's not compassionate. Cherish the traditional student-teacher relationship, but do so with compassion, and find a better guide in doing so.

While there are some touching personal accounts in this book, ostensibly about the teacher/student relationship in Vajrayana, most of the content of this book is spoiled by persistent bombastic hyperbole.

The vajra master is supposed to "override dualistic rationale", for instance! What the heck does that mean?

The impression conveyed of the vajra master is some sort of cross between Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda's imaginary friend) and the "Master" in the Kung Fu television series. With a little encounter therapy thrown in for good measure (the author has a fondness for pseudo-psychologisms, such as the abundant use of the word "neurosis"; I suppose the author has read a lot of Trungpa Rinpoche).

Overall it adds up to a bit of a sensationalized and perhaps somewhat misleading characterization of the teacher/student relationship. Everything is just so dramatic. I think this could lead to unrealistic expectations in the real world of vajra-relationship with one's teacher.

On a positive note, there really isn't any other book quite like this at the moment. While there are several books already written on the Teacher in vajrayana, all of them so far are either translations of traditional texts or academic treatments of the subject. "Dangerous Friend" explores new ground through being written by a contemporary practitioner in contemporary language. Though I personally was turned off by the author's writing style, I think that others, especially those that are fond of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche's books, will probably enjoy this book.

This book is about the often misunderstood teacher student relationship in Vajrayana. The author Rig'dzin Dorje clarifies in detail what is the essence of this relationship, without which the practice of Vajrayana is entirely non-functional. We are living in a time where Buddhism is still new to the Western hemisphere, and it is natural that its spread is meeting many cultural obstacles. Being confronted with such an extremely colourful tradition like the Tibetan one it is very difficult to distinguish between specific cultural forms and essential ingredients of the tradition. "Dangerous friend" gives an outstandingly clear answer to the question which aspects of the relationship with the Vajra master are based on Tibetan culture, and which aspects are absolutely essential to make Vajrayana work. In a wonderfully refreshing contemporary language it is made utterly clear what is meant by devotion to the lama and to the lineage, and how this form of devotion is transformative.

Like with any good Dharma book the reader is finding herself reading a "different book" after several years when she has progressed on the path. "Dangerous friend" is written from a practicioner for practicioners, and this you can experience in any single line. When the understanding of a practicioner deepens, then also the profundity of this book is becoming more and more transparent. For anybody who is seriously interested in practicing Vajrayana this is an absolute must to read.

Nga-la Rigdzin does a fabulous job of defining the differing relationships one has with a Buddhist teacher. In easy to understand language he shares with the reader not only what sort of relationship one has with the traditional tantric teacher, vajra master, but also how to responsibly take vows with a teacher as well as how to choose the appropriate teacher. He further explains the many ways that the tantric teacher provides transmission, formally, informally, secretly, etc. Even though I have already chosen a tantric teacher, I still found the book to be profoundly helpful at helping me appreciate my teacher and interact with her. Thank you so much Nga-la Rigdzin.

This is an amazingly well-written book filled with insight. It is an important book for western students of Vajrayana to understand in terms of their relationships with their root teacher. However, it is sad that such a commentary is necessary. Since it is written using the terms and phrases of Vajrayana Buddhism, it is unlikely that non-Buddhists will understand many of the concepts. It is also written from the perspective of a Nyingma tradition using Dzogchen as the primary example of Vajrayana practice, but those of us from the other traditions should be able to substitute our own common terms in place of the Nyingma terms (for example, students of a Geluk lama may be more likely to hear about the self-cherishing mind than the dualistic mind) and still understand the point. I recommend this book.

The author of this book is a member of a small Buddhist flavored cult called the Aro gTer. H.H.The Dalai Lama has refused to acknowledge the authenticity of this group, and has in fact, publically advised Dharma practioners to avoid them. They in turn state that as the H.H. is not a Nyingma practioner he has no say over them. This is too simplistic, since the Chinese invasion of Tibet all schools of the Tibetan Vajrayana acknowledge the authority of His Holiness. In any case the Aro's point is undermined by the fact that the head of the Nyingma, Mindrolling Rinpoche, has also declared the Aro to be inauthentic. As have all of the other Nyingma lineage holders. Why bother with a fake when we live in a time when the real thing is so readily available? In the Nyingma Tradition there is Namkhai Norbu, Tarthang Tulku, Sogyal Rinpoche, and numerous others. There is no reason to settle for a western imitation.