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Dare To Forgive [Hardcover]

Edward M. Hallowell (Author)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 1, 2004

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It's also healthy, brave, contagious—and it sets you free. Everyone needs to forgive, whether it's your parents, your neighbors, your dog, the man who cut you off in the traffic this morning or the criminal who murdered your loved one. In this clear, concise and inspiring book, bestselling psychiatrist Dr. Edward Hallowell shows you how.


In his typical lively and engaging stle, bestselling author Dr. Edward Hallowell leads you through a series of definitions and situations to an understanding of the true nature of forgiveness. He shows how and why forgiveness is the basis of a happy and healthy life, and then gives you a practical four-step program to create more of it in your own life.

Maybe you're letting the small insults of daily life pile up and cause you stress.
Dr. Hallowell will show you how his own frustration over a Porsche stealing his parking spot on a busy street led him to do something reckless. 

Maybe you're hurt by the thoughtless actions of those you love.
Dr. Hallowell shows how a lack of forgiveness has stunted a marriage and how it has torn a family apart--even after all the family members have long forgotten what they disagreed about. 

Maybe you're feeling let down by your own thoughts or deeds.
Dr. Hallowell shows how finally forgiving himself transformed an accidental killer into a productive member of society.

Or maybe something truly terrible has happened that, over the years, has eaten a hole in your soul. Maybe you're one of the people who think they can never forgive. . .



"This might be the most important book you will read this year.  The absence of forgiveness in our lives cripples us and it is crippling our society. Ned Hallowell does not gloss over how hard it is to forgive.  Yet through his deep insight, practical steps and rich stories, he invites the reader into the sweetness of forgiveness.  This is a graced achievement!"       
- The Rt. Rev. M. Thomas Shaw, SSJE, Episcopal Bishop of Massachusetts

"Why forgive? And how do we go about it? Dr. Hallowell addresses this age-old question with tremendous wisdom and heart. He is a compelling and generous storyteller, and he provides the reader with not only tools, but also a larger sense of hope and possibility."
- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., Author, The Dance of Anger

"Ned Hallowell is a healing writer. He possesses the most inspiring and optimistic voice emerging from the medical community today… Dr. Hallowell brings his scientific knowledge and his generous heart to bear on the problems that afflict our lives and those of our children, and we are better for his unique vision."
- Michael Thompson, Ph.D., Author, Raising Cain and Best Friends, Worst Enemies


Frequently Bought Together

Customers buy this book with The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy $10.20

Dare To Forgive + The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Before explaining how to forgive, psychologist Hallowell (Connect: 12 Vital Ties that Open Your Heart, Lengthen Your Life and Deepen Your Soul) argues that the act of forgiving benefits the person who has been wronged even more than the offender, somewhat in contrast with Janis Abrahms Spring's recent How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. In addition to physical advantages, like lower blood pressure or a stronger immune system, letting go of anger and the desire for revenge results in emotional growth and a higher degree of happiness. In this very compassionate self-help book, laced with examples from the author's personal and professional life, Hallowell presents a detailed, four-step process for achieving true forgiveness: feel the pain of being wronged; relive and reflect on this pain; work through the anger and resentment; and, finally, renounce the anger and move forward. To facilitate these stages, the author recommends first forgiving yourself for wrongful acts you have committed against others. In insightful chapters that do not minimize the difficulties inherent in the process, Hallowell discusses the nuts and bolts of many kinds of forgiveness, including "everyday forgiveness" (e.g., someone who cuts in front of you on line), "forgiving your ex" and "forgiving a betrayer." His arguments about the value of forgiveness in individual situations are fairly convincing and are made more compelling by the well-rendered anecdotes that accompany them. Hallowell also theorizes, optimistically, that an embrace of forgiveness on a global level is the road to international progress and world peace.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Dr. Edward Hallowell is a psychologist and internationally recognized expert on ADD and other behavioral problems. He is an instructor at Harvard Medical School and director of The Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health. He lives near Boston, MA.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: HCI (March 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0757300103
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757300103
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #943,175 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I am a child and adult psychiatrist with a private practice in Sudbury Mass with my group of clinicians collectively called The Hallowell Center. I also am a writer and a lecturer. I am married to Sue Hallowell, a social worker and a therapist. We have been married for 17 years and have 3 children, Lucy, now 16, Jack, 13, and Tucker, 10 (as of April, 2006).
The major theme that runs through all my work is the magical power of the human connection, and the power of positive connections of all kinds. I also specialize in learning differences and have written books about how to deal best with attention deficit disorder, a condition that I regard as a potential gift, if it handled correctly.
I welcome hearing from readers. Just send me an email to ehallowell@aol.com or visit my website at drhallowell.com





 

Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
5 star:
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4 star:
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3 star:    (0)
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Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Demystifying Forgiveness, April 10, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Dare To Forgive (Hardcover)
Ned Hallowell's gift is his ability to find, in the universal truths of human nature and behavior, those constructs that lie at the core of mental, emotional, and relational fulfillment. He always seems to know what's eating away at us, what's standing in the way of our hope and happiness. Those who have been fans of Dr. Hallowell's for years will recognize this in his books, Connect, Worry, and Human Moments. With Dare to Forgive, Ned Hallowell explores the self-poisoning nature of the resentment and hatred so many of us experience on a daily basis. With his trademark warmth, humility, and candor, he posits that forgiveness isn't reserved for the saintly few, but is a powerful, practical tool for letting go of the caustic anger and bitterness that damages one's health and relationships. He addresses the objections and cynicisms many will throw at the mere idea of forgiveness, showing that forgiveness is really something we do for ourselves. As always, Dr. Hallowell stays clear of jargon and pontificating, for this is a practical book giving practical advice for learning how and why to forgive others - and oneself. As one who suffered a personal loss in 9/11, I can't help but wonder if, in today's increasingly polarized and terrorized world, forgiveness may be an overlooked weapon of mass reconstruction.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Supportive advice that can improve your life, March 31, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: Dare To Forgive (Hardcover)
Ned Hallowell does it again! In Dare to Forgive he encourages us to disown our anger for others so that all may benefit. One of the things I liked was that he understands that sometimes forgiving can be hard to do, but provides many reasons why one should practice this art, and also provides practical steps for incorporating forgiveness into your own life. I think of this book as a potential marriage and/or friendship saver - a terrific, non-intimidating read.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This is an Amazing Book, June 2, 2004
By 
Tara McGillicuddy (South Shore, MA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Dare To Forgive (Hardcover)
This is an Amazing Book. Dr. Hallowell discusses everyday life situations in great detail and makes the readers feel as though they are actually there. He does not try to sugar coat things are try to suggest that forgving others or ourselves is something easy to do.

He does however give the readers both scientific and spritual reasons about why forgiveness is beneficial. He also gives practical suggestions on how to begin to forgive. This is a great book for everybody even those people can easily forive.

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
When a well-known sportswriter in Boston died not too long ago, something terrible happened, a terrible something that happens so often that nobody usually comments on how terrible it is. Read the first page
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Uncle Jim, Father Porter, Cape Cod, Captain Ahab, Dalai Lama, New Orleans, New York, North Carolina, Mountain Dew
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