Customer Reviews

Dare... to Try Bisexuality (Positively Sexual)

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I was hoping for better.

This book is, at best, a silly piece of popcorn. At worst, it tries to glamorize the worst stereotypes of bisexual people and the practice of bisexuality: that it is all about having multiway causal swinger orgies, that bisexuals will hit on anyone (even you!) they find attractive, and the only reason why someone isn't having bisexual sex is because they just haven't tried it yet.

For people who already understand their own bisexuality, or the bisexuality of someone close to them, this book is at best eye rollingly silly.

For people who are curious, want to learn, or are struggling to understand their own bisexuality or the bisexuality of someone close to them, this book is dangerously wrong and misleading.

As an actual bisexual, I found myself intrigued by this book when it came up for review on the Early Reviewers program. Would it, I wondered, give a positive view of bisexuality? Encourage people with existing bisexual tendencies to try to act out their feelings? Make it clear that bisexuality is not a phase, fence-sitting, or any of the other insulting terms commonly used to describe it? So, I requested it, and some months later it showed up at my door. It was far tinier than I expected, a mere 71 pages, designed for the supermarket checkout rather than the bookstore. That's OK, though. Good things can come in small packages.

Alas, "Dare... to try bisexuality" has completely failed to live up to my expectations. In the first chapter, after blathering on for several pages about the discredited psychosexual theories of Freud and briefly presenting a "modern" schemata of bisexuality "types", wherein nowhere was mentioned relationships, love, or even a non-pathological view of bisexuality in and of itself, the author then weakly conceded that bisexuality was natural - so everyone should try it!

The rest of the book made it clear that the title really should be "Dare... to try having sex with a member of the same sex once, preferably in a porno theater or swinger's club. In the dark." He minimized the role of the "ickier" parts of male bisexuality. His view of female bisexuality is limited to juvenile sexual experiences, revenge sex, and performance for the male gaze. He never does try to make it clear that bisexuality is not an "in-between" sexual orientation, and neither for most people is it a transitional or temporary phase. Most frustratingly, he doesn't even mention the possibility that a bisexual person could have a balanced romantic and sexual life in the long term, without bisexuality being an "escape" or simply assisted masturbation. The true coup de grace, though? The entire chapter on sexual positions for three or more. Because bisexuality, don'tcha know, is all about the group sex.

Ultimately, this book is laden with outdated research, cruel stereotypes, and flawed assumptions regarding the lived experience of bisexuality. I very much support the idea that people should explore their sexuality, and I do think there is a place for a book that thoughtfully encourages development of same-sex sexual feelings. A book that positions jerking other guys off in a theater playing hetero porn as an idealized portrait of bisexuality, or that emphasizes the importance of swinger's clubs as a major aspect of bisexual life? This is really, really not it

A tiny book packed with information. I initially fell in love with the cute cover and jumped at the chance to get an advance copy for review. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a humor book or an informative book and when I saw how small and thin it was when it arrived, I was sure it was humor. I was delightfully surprised to read the "Foreward to the U.S. Edition" and find out this was going to be an in-depth, intelligent study on the topic as well as a how-to manual. This is a much-needed entry between the usual choices of stoic academic research or lowbrow comedy, refreshing and balanced. It has all the elements you could want - history, statistics, FAQs, personal stories, graphic illustrations, and an impressive appendix and bibliography. Would make a great addition to sex ed classes or human sexuality courses. This is a keeper and I'm so impressed that I will be looking for the other titles in this series