Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy [Paperback]

David Richo (Author)

Book Description

Release date: July 26, 2011

Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner.

Daring to Trust offers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include:

   • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them)
   • Why we fear trusting
   • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others
   • How to know if someone is trustworthy
   • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust
   • What to do when trust is broken


Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Combining profound insights and practical techniques, this important new book walks us step-by-step through our trust issues and, in so doing, opens the gate held shut by our deepest fears so that we can finally, fearlessly, love and be loved."—Susan Piver, author of The Wisdom of a Broken Heart

"Beautifully wise, straightforward, and helpful."—Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart

About the Author

David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth. He is known for drawing on Buddhist thought, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work. He is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships and The Five Things We Cannot Change. He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Shambhala; 1 edition (July 26, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 9781590309247
• ISBN-13: 978-1590309247
• ASIN: 1590309243
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #22,990 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.

He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.

Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving and The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.

Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Opportunity for Personal Growth and Healing January 8, 2011

By David Lazarony

Format:Hardcover

In "Daring to Trust" Dave Richo once again shares his "matter of fact" words to break down trust into its most basic components: the "Trust" we give to others (that is conditional, based on their behavior) and our "Trustworthiness" (that which we practice giving unconditionally to everyone.) Reading this was another one of those wonderful paradoxical experiences. I was like, "Of course! How could it be any other way!" Yet deep inside of me I knew I had known this all along.

The first part of the book deals with trust in relationships. Then I got to the chapter on "Trusting Ourselves" and "Wow!" That triggered some deep fear inside of me. Initially I thought what I was feeling was something about myself that I was afraid to see. I felt so terrified I was doing everything I could to avoid feeling that fear. But as I practiced what Dave suggests in the book, just sitting there being with the feeling, I noticed a shift in my awareness. What I was feeling was "the fear of fear." I was in a panic, and the more I sat with it, the more I was able to follow it back. The fear was a childhood fear of getting into trouble, of not being good enough, of not being loveable just the way I am. I sat there reliving that feeling of how I didn't believe in myself; seeing how my childhood had reinforced that experience. I just sat there holding that little boy inside of me. Knowing in this moment that I have always been loveable just the way I am. That experience helped me to further reaffirm that I can trust my feelings and that I can trust myself.

I've found my journey with Dave Richo to be an extremely healing one, and "Daring to Trust" is just the latest chapter for me. I highly recommend this and his other books to those who wish to heal.... After reading Dave's introduction to "Daring to Trust" and hearing his personal journey I knew I had to read this book. But don't take my word for it. Go click on "Look Inside!" and read the introduction for yourself. That's Dave Richo at his finest. Sharing his wisdom with all of us. Read more ›

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Changed me forever. I feel love and I am not afraid! March 22, 2011

By Ara

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I dont usually write reviews, but this has ot be one of the most usefull books I have ever read. I for the first time of my life see a different view on my life and my past. I know I can fix myself . All of this makes perfect sense and just by reading it I have been able to find that relief I so needed. I know I am going to read this over and over again. It is beautiful. it got my heart pumping again!. I met the greatest guy in the world. and I loved again! I was so scared but thanks to this book I allowed myself to fall in love and I am enjoying it, every ounce of it. Thank you sooooo much.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Concise and specific Roadmap to Trusting Myself and Others January 26, 2011

By Kenlyn

Format:Hardcover

David Richo has done it again in his latest book about Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy. Using simple and very readable language, he offers us the questions to answer for ourselves as well as to use in our relationships with others. Following the clearly written and often poetic guides, we can't help but come to know ourselves better - and to understand how we are the way we are in relationships - or alone. Richo guides us from trusting ourselves in a more profound and deeper way to utilizing that sharpened skill of Self-Trust with others who are in significant relationships with us.

While this book builds on his earlier writings, it stands alone and offers additional ways of encouragement and guidance throughout the book. He addresses the killing of the spirit within each of us who allow ourselves to stay in close relationships that slowly drain us over the years, wearing down our bodies and our life forces. I especially appreciate the forgiveness aspects of his writings which free us from obligation, and do so without anger or rancor - but encourage us to be the best we can be while also forgiving ourselves and others along the way. This is a book for someone who wants more honest liveliness and intimacy in his or her relationships, and who now can use this book to help that to happen!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Worthy of careful reading... April 16, 2011

By Yarko

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Dave Richo writes lyrically, thoughtfully. This book I've found to be less of a quick read, and more worthy of slow, savory digestion, reflection. For me, it is both insightful, and thought provoking. I recommend it.

44 of 59 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Reading with Tequila December 15, 2010

By Jennifer Sicurella VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

As many may know, I shy away from nonfiction - especially that of the self-help variety. There are multiple self-help books for every possible conundrum and each offers different advice. How helpful could the advice be if the "experts" can't agree on a proper course of action? I chose to read David Richo's Daring to Trust for two reasons: I haven't seen many books on the subject of trusting others before and I believe it's a common problem that many have trouble with.

Richo's theory that most interpersonal problems stem from a lack of trust seems solid. He looks in depth at the past and its impact on how people respond to situations in the present. A lot of positive ideas in the book such as trusting oneself, being trustworthy towards others and not expecting those who have proven untrustworthy to change provide a healthy perspective on the idea of trust and life in general.

While Daring to Trust's psychology resonated with me, some other aspects of the book did not. Actions such as writing poems that express what you learn about yourself aren't exactly my cup of tea. The book relies heavily on references to Shakespeare (especially Hamlet). I failed to see the correlation between trust and Hamlet. There are also many references to Buddhism and its practices. While I appreciate the advocacy of ones higher power not necessarily having to be God and the absence of advice steeped in organized religion, there was enough Buddhist practices in Daring to Trust to alienate those who like their self-help completely free of religion. Much of what Shambhala, Daring to Trust's publisher, publishes focuses on Buddhism, feng-shui, yoga and other spiritually based themes.... It most likely will not distract from the advice in the book for those who expect it, but I would have liked if the new age flavor would have been made known somewhere in the synopsis of the book and hadn't been surprised by it.

I applaud David Richo's tackling of a topic such as trust. Generally, people are either trusting or they are not and remain that way their entire lives. The psychology in Daring to Trust gives me hope that people can actually change this aspect of their personalities. Read more ›