Customer Reviews

Dark Harvest 2

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(15)

 

 

Dear God, when will I ever learn? I love no-budget horror movies but you have to draw the line somewhere. Dark Harvest 2 is somewhere behind that line, hidden by other gems like, well, every movie ever released by The Asylum. As far as a review I can't say much that hasn't already been said. The director's attempts at "establishing" a scene are enough to make Gandhi come back to life and immediately kill himself. Here's a hint to the director -- the sound of a little girl screaming is in the Top 5 of Most Annoying Things Ever so to stick a camera on a 9-year old girl and tell her to scream for 5 minutes is a crime against nature, no matter how many camera angles you use. And how can a psychic look at a footprint in the mud and have a psychic premonition OF A FOOTPRINT IN THE MUD??!?!?! What the hell does that even mean? For the love of God, just stop it. I hope you don't get any ideas about making another movie like "Wheat: Legend of the Cereal Killer." I know that was corny but what do you expect, the ENTIRE movie takes place in a freakin' cornfield.

Well, shuck me sideways. I haven't seen a home movie this bad since the abysmal 13 SECONDS or HALF CASTE. Someone should take away this guy's Sony Handycam! This movie proves that just because you can make a movie on your camcorder for $20, doesn't necessarily mean you should.

I remember that one of the things that Robert Rodriguez wrote in his book, "Rebel Without a Crew" was that when you set out to make a no budget feature, you have to use whatever assets you have at your disposal. Rodriguez says that you should take an inventory of all the locations and props that you can beg, steal and borrow from your friends. Robert Rodriquez was friends with the Mayor of some town in Mexico, so the Mayor let him shoot all over for free. What you got in EL MARIACHI was a movie that looked like it cost much more than the actual budget.

I'm sure that the director of this movie has a copy of that book, and he took that advice to heart. In this case, he was apparently friends with a guy who owned a cornfield where they put on a haunted house every year. Seems like a pretty good location for a scary movie, but it's hard to keep a cornfield interesting for 90 minutes. Not a single installment of the CHILDREN OF THE CORN series spent more than a few minutes in the cornfield. Hitchcock only spent about ten minutes in one in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. Take a hint, fella... cornfields don't make for riveting cinema. It would have been good if the director would have had more friends with more locations, because this thing gets pretty tedious after the first 15 minutes. This movie looks like it cost about $30. (or whatever it cost in admission to the cornfield maze).

Apparently he couldn't even find anyone to act in his movie, so he cast himself. Big mistake. Here's a thought, if you really want to make a movie, get an actor. So, as far as assets go, it seems like the cornfield maze is the only thing the poor guy had. Maybe he thought that was enough. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I KNOW he thought that was enough because the movie, before it captured the coveted honor of being the sequel to DARK HARVEST, was called simply THE MAIZE: THE MOVIE. Maybe this he's already planning THE MAIZE: THE MUSICAL or even THE MAIZE: THE MINI-SERIES.

Our Jack-Of-All-Trades (and yes, the Master of Nothing part of that saying is definitely appropriate here) plays a psychic dad who can tell when bad things are going to happen. Think of the character from the DEAD ZONE, but not anywhere near as good an actor as Christopher Walken or even Anthony Michael Hall. Psychic Dad has a premonition that his two daughers, who are at the corn maze with mom, are going to be killed. He rushes to save them. From that point on, the whole movie is spent watching Pyschic Dad run around in a cornfield, looking for his two daughters. He finds the two little girl ghosts from THE SHINING, and he helps solve the mystery of their murder.

Shot on a $200 Handycam. The director cast himself. Edited on iMovie. Improvised story. If that's not enough to keep you away from this a-maize-ingly corny catastrophy, consider this as a final warning... The WHOLE MOVIE takes place in a cornfield, boils and ghouls. Here's Ghoulie Guru's tip on how to save some money and still feel like you've seen this movie. Next time you see a cornfield, stop the car. Take a flashlight and go run around in there for like 90 minutes.

I was actually thinking about writing Mr. Cowell a letter but this will have to do. If there was an award for worst movie ever written, this one would win hands down. I laughed through all of it. It looks to me as though you were given a camcorder for your birthday and you decided to make a movie. A low budget is no excuss for something this bad. I don't just blame you, your editor needs to take a little more time figuring when to stop showing so much corn.

Don't even compare this movie to the Blair Witch project. That one had something going for it. I can see you spent more money on the cover of the DVD then in the making of the film. I think it's sleezy what you did, "Trying to hop on the back of what-ever success Harvest Moon 1 made." and showing a scare-crow on the cover and having no such thing in the actual movie.

I'd be ashamed to be apart of that movie.

As a owner of the first Dark Harvest film which I thought was merely a OK film, I was anxious to see Dark Harvest 2 thinking maybe it would be a better movie than the first. Wrong!!!!!!! This movie was terrible from beginning to end! A cheap attempt to make a horror movie. This movie gives you the effect that an amateur with a hand held cheap video camera walked around filming this movie. The acting was horrible and so was the plot. It made no sense at all and after 15 minutes, I was tempted to stop watching but out of curiousity, I suffered through the whole movie. You get sick of seeing this man searching for 2 girls lost in a corn maze. I'm very glad that I only rented this movie and didn't buy it. It would have been a terrible waste of money!! If you are curious about this movie, please rent it first even though the $4 to rent it is too much!!

Basically, that is the premise of this movie. My husband and I thought we would at least get a little of the excitement we got watching the first Dark Harvest movie. He fell asleep within the first 18 minutes. I continued to watch thinking that it had to get better. You know how some movies start out slow but steadily gain momentum. That didn't happen with this movie. This is the only movie I have ever watched that actually beat my all-time, most disappointing movie ever, choice (Blair Witch Project). Like a previous reviewer stated, "It really is that bad." No plot, no script, no acting (my Chow could have done a better job than the people cast in this movie). So if you really must spend your money, go rent Blair Witch Project, you'll have more fun with it than you ever will with this piece of junk. That is, unless of course you enjoy walking through a corn field in endless circles searching for two little girls who must be deaf as stone posts since they are only two or three rows away and can't seem to here their father calling them, which he does periodically. Too bad I have to give this movie a 1 star. It actually deserved a -5 stars for being so monstrously bad.

This is the worst movie I've ever seen. It's waste of money. Trust me I have over 100 movies and this its by far the worst. I really wouldn't even give 1 star for it. Movie just doen't make sense.

Poorly-lit, excruciatingly-composed, badly-acted, and edited with a hacksaw and duct tape. The most remarkable thing about DH2 is that, somehow, the filmmakers managed to squeeze everything you could possibly do wrong while shooting a movie into one painstakingly-boring project. Evidently shot by someone who has never attended a single film class (nor even seen a successful horror film), this travesty chugs along for over an hour-and-a-half. Two girls and their dim-witted Dad are stalked (ha, get it) in a cornfield maze by a gaggle of cackling jack-o-lanterns and a rubber-booted killer, while attempting to solve the mysterious disappearance of a couple of autistic, conjoined twins... or something along those lines. Like it matters. Anyway, unless your idea of entertainment is watching someone run around in a cornfield for, like, HOURS, while being pursued by a headless chicken with a digital camera strapped to its back, don't even think about seeing this movie.

You can read the other reviews of this film. I have nothing to add, but wanted to cast my vote for terrible. Wish I had read them before renting.

I watched all three in this series and even though the first was not great it was the best of them all. The 2nd was the worst. Don't waste your time or money.

I saw a pretty healthy compliment of DVD copies of this film on the shelf at Bl0ckbuster a week ago.

I guess Lion's Gate has a thing for distributing really bad low budget horror films.

This particular film was conceived, written, and directed by a guy who clearly should not be making films. And to top it off, he plays the lead in the film. How's that for retarded?

And to make it even worse, some of the credits info on this webpage are incorrect (who the f uck is Ralph Baber?), leading consumers to believe that this "sequel" was made by the same director of Dark Harvest.