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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
What the hell was that????, July 13, 2004
This review is from: Dark Heaven (DVD)
Dark Heaven was one of the worst, if not the absolute worst movie I have ever seen! I'm not going to waste much time on a review since it doesn't deserve it. The movie looked extremely low budgeted and the acting was absolutely horrendous (well for the little acting that was required in the piece of crap). The movie was extremely repetitive and the storyline was out of control! Extremely hard to follow since there is no background info on any of the characters. I would NEVER recommend this movie, it is pure CRAP!!!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
It Was Hell Watching This, April 7, 2006
This review is from: Dark Heaven (DVD)
To start, i am a huge horror/sci-fi/fantasy guy & there is a difference between good bad & JUST PLAIN BAD!!! Dark Heaven was nothing but a FLASHBACK movie. The whole movie was NOTHING BUT FLASHBACKS & NONSENSE. The story NEVER stays in one place, it is constanly moving & not making sense. Nothing is concrete in this movie just pure confusion.Who ever wrote/directed this piece of trash needs to give it up. I sat BORED for over an hour & wanting at times to just turn it off. I made it all the way through & believe me, it was HELL watching this flick!! The writer/director was trying to be cleaver & unique in his/her movie but instead leaves room for "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON". Plain bad was this movie. I have seen thousands of horror flicks & even ones done with a home camera & this was not worth the $1.00 (one dollar) i spent on it. No wonder it was in the dump bin at Wal Mart. Horrible movie, do not RECK-A-MEND. I think the writer was trying to do his/her version of JACOB's LADDER (Which was done VERY WELL). If I could give this trash flick a no star i would but with Amazon's rating system I can't. Don't waste your money or even rental money on this horrible movie. Schroeder (DJ WACK "O") of Cult Movies Magazine & Orbital Traxx Records. www.cultmoviesmagazine.com
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Dork Heaven is more like it...., October 1, 2005
This review is from: Dark Heaven (DVD)
I just got done watching Dark Heaven and boy howdy am I steamed! The film was not impressive. The storyline was slow, boring and most of all sad. I cried for hours after watching this depressing film. It doesn't make me any less of a man!
Anyways, director Doug Schultze injects nothing into this film but a lot of lame religious imagery and tacky costumes. Honestly, I wore better costumes in my parade than anyone had in this movie. The acting is very bland, as well. Low budget is one thing but low production values is another. I can only hope that the minds behind this film can bounce back with their next movie cains kiddies or whatever it's called on IMDB. One good thing I can say about the film is the interesting cinematography. If they ever bring DIABLO from pc game to silver screen, it would probably have that kind of cinematography. The DVD is O.K. The film has a running commentary by Director Doug Schultze and producer Kurt Eli Mayry. The commentary is very slow but at least it's as entertaining as the film. Based on the commentary, I wouldn't want to meet these two guys in a dark alley...they might bore me to death. So avoid this film or at least get it at a low price if you must have it. Safety!
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