Customer Reviews

Dark Heaven

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

Dark Heaven was one of the worst, if not the absolute worst movie I have ever seen! I'm not going to waste much time on a review since it doesn't deserve it. The movie looked extremely low budgeted and the acting was absolutely horrendous (well for the little acting that was required in the piece of crap). The movie was extremely repetitive and the storyline was out of control! Extremely hard to follow since there is no background info on any of the characters.

I would NEVER recommend this movie, it is pure CRAP!!!

To start, i am a huge horror/sci-fi/fantasy guy & there is a difference between good bad & JUST PLAIN BAD!!! Dark Heaven was nothing but a FLASHBACK movie. The whole movie was NOTHING BUT FLASHBACKS & NONSENSE. The story NEVER stays in one place, it is constanly moving & not making sense. Nothing is concrete in this movie just pure confusion.Who ever wrote/directed this piece of trash needs to give it up. I sat BORED for over an hour & wanting at times to just turn it off. I made it all the way through & believe me, it was HELL watching this flick!! The writer/director was trying to be cleaver & unique in his/her movie but instead leaves room for "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON". Plain bad was this movie. I have seen thousands of horror flicks & even ones done with a home camera & this was not worth the $1.00 (one dollar) i spent on it. No wonder it was in the dump bin at Wal Mart. Horrible movie, do not RECK-A-MEND. I think the writer was trying to do his/her version of JACOB's LADDER (Which was done VERY WELL). If I could give this trash flick a no star i would but with Amazon's rating system I can't. Don't waste your money or even rental money on this horrible movie. Schroeder (DJ WACK "O") of Cult Movies Magazine & Orbital Traxx Records. www.cultmoviesmagazine.com

I just got done watching Dark Heaven and boy howdy am I steamed! The film was not impressive. The storyline was slow, boring and most of all sad. I cried for hours after watching this depressing film. It doesn't make me any less of a man!
Anyways, director Doug Schultze injects nothing into this film but a lot of lame religious imagery and tacky costumes. Honestly, I wore better costumes in my parade than anyone had in this movie. The acting is very bland, as well. Low budget is one thing but low production values is another. I can only hope that the minds behind this film can bounce back with their next movie cains kiddies or whatever it's called on IMDB. One good thing I can say about the film is the interesting cinematography. If they ever bring DIABLO from pc game to silver screen, it would probably have that kind of cinematography. The DVD is O.K. The film has a running commentary by Director Doug Schultze and producer Kurt Eli Mayry. The commentary is very slow but at least it's as entertaining as the film. Based on the commentary, I wouldn't want to meet these two guys in a dark alley...they might bore me to death. So avoid this film or at least get it at a low price if you must have it. Safety!

I went to imdb and checked out this movie since I watched it and wanted to see what others thought.

To my surprise most of the reviews here have been nearly word for word cut and pastes of the reviews on that website. The reviewer who mentioned that they must be acquiantances hit it dead on, I think, for many of the reviews.

The movie sounded really cool on the box. If my expectations were a neck-deep pool, there wouldn't be a molecule of water present.

This was shoddy workmanship. Poorly executed acting, scriptwriting and effects. I feel bad for anyone who's name is associated with this movie, or who, like me, wasted $3.50 renting it. I want my time and money back.

Please do NOT waste your time on this movie, despite the other reviewers supporting it. You'll thank me.

This is by far the worst horror, no, movie I have ever seen in my entire life and I have seen many, many movies in my time. This is slow moving, boring, no dialogue and sad. The villian whomever that may be is sadly portrayed.
I couldn't even watch this whole movie, after 30 minutes of 15-words, 3 characters and no plot, I shut this movie off. Bad acting.
This movie isn't cheesy, it's just really, really bad. It offers NOTHING to the horror genre, nor to the movie genre for that matter. There is no reason for you to waste your time or money on this garbage. If you like horror movies, watch something more worth while such as Hellraiser or Night of the Living Dead because this is the lamest of the lame.
0 stars, nada, zip, nilch ... seriously, if you like crap - get this. I'm so glad I got this DVD for free from HMV or else I'd be scavenging for the receit.

My 16-year old brother says: 'This movie stinks, it's the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It sucks royale, next time I want to blow chunks - I'll pop this garbage into my DVD player. Save us ALL if this is the future of the horror genre! If you have any thoughts of renting or buying this, you'd be better off shooting yourself!'

All of the postive reviews were written on nearly the same date by first time reviewers..coincidence? I turned this POS off 15 minutes into the movie.

Omg, this movie is the most idiotic horrible movie I ever watched. First of all I felt like I was watching a movie made by my five year old cousins. What was with the camera angle? If it was suppost to be for effect then uuhh...try again. The lines are terrible. The whole movie you watch this guy walking around and around...just walking. Oh yeah, there is this really bad put together robotic angel that looked like the icon on one of aerosmith's ablums. If that's suppost to be an angel I really want to know what the heck these people were smoking when making this movie. It's amatuer film, I hate it. Anyone with good taste in movies, DON'T GO NEAR THIS!

This is the second worst wanna-be Jacob's Ladder movie I've ever seen, the worst being "13 Seconds". It went through so many obvious plot contrivances that I knew how it was going to end when I was only twenty minutes in - and then I had to sit through another 70 minutes.

It's unfortunate that the movie had a muddled script and a bad story because the cinematography was pretty good, and the first few minutes of the movie showed promise. I just wish that I knew why everyone is suddenly making these third-rate "I'm dead but I don't know it" movies. It's becoming a whole sub-genre of thriller movies now. It's probably some kind of M. Night Shyamalan backlash. One star for you.

One of the benefits to the BlockBuster mail order program is I'm willing to add movies to by queue that I otherwise would not. Sometimes this works ("Ever Since the World Ended", "The Quiet Earth"), and sometimes this does not.

The best thing I can say about this horrible movie is that it's not the worst I've seen (That honor goes to "Zombie Night," which looks like it was shot by a high-school film class. In one day. In 1963.) However, "Dark Heaven" has to be singled out because it tries harder to be a bad movie.

Does the premise of this movie make you think (as one 5-star reviewer said)? No. It makes you yawn. The "big-unexpected-twist-ending" was pretty clear five minutes into the movie. Granted, this movie did this ending a couple years before it was done in "Stay." But, it's not like it was original then, either. Yawn.

I'm not opposed to budget films. But everything about this (except the film quality) was so badly done. Bad acting? Check. (Note, if an entire movie focuses around a single character on screen, then get a decent actor for that character. I felt plenty of emotional anguish from the performance, but not as empathy for the character.) Bad effects? Oh yeah. ("Hey, I got it! Let's light this hamburger on fire!" "Ohhh... I just realized! We can invert the color! Nobody does that anymore!") Bad sound? Oh, heck yeah. Most of the dialog doesn't seem to synch up right to the actors. I can see their lips move, and can tell they're speaking English, but it's just not exactly in synch with the sound. And the DVD sound is atrocious. I had to turn the sound up 200% from the normal to hear what was being said. After trying to figure out what was being said, I finally went to turn on the Closed Captioning, but this DVD doesn't have any. Heh.

Well, a movie can overcome some poor production values if it has a good plot, right? Yeah, well... It is almost as if the script was being written while the movie was in production and the original intent was to make another movie altogether. Near the beginning of the movie, the main character "wakes up" in a world that appears to be empty. Later on, he has a flashback where he recalls a totally different scenario of the world disappearing! The characterizations are so convoluted that they are humorous. (There is a scene where the main character is walking down a hallway to the bleeding body of his wife. Yep, "walking." "Hey, Hon! No, don't get up. I'll go get there eventually.") There are several other scenes where mysterious hooded figures reach out for him and each time he is rendered unconscious. But he never tries to get away from them, and actively follows them for much of the movie!

Spoiler Warning: Now, I know the premise was that this whole mess was an as-I-lay-dying dream, but if you are going to go this route, there is a rule that has to be followed: All action has to be centered around the dreaming character! So, starting the movie with a scene with the (imaginary!) antagonist having his congregation disappear just doesn't make any sense.

When this awful movie finally ended, the credits began with "Written, Produced, and Directed by Douglas Schulze". I chucked and thought, "I wouldn't advertise that, if I were him."

My lovely wife rented this, because here in Japan the movie is titled "The Last Man on Earth," Which made her think it was a remake of the 1964 Vincent Price movie that I really enjoy.

It wasn't even close.

This movie might have had potential at some point in its life. The concept isn't bad, and the design of the angels is different and almost interesting.

Unfortunately the weak acting, bad cinematography (you could see parts of the camera,) and over use of film school effects like slow motion, red lights, and smoke, did a pretty good job of ruining any potential this movie had.

There is a big angel fight scene towards the end that was just pathetic. I think the problem stems from the costumes restricting the movements of the actors so much, they were only able to weave back and forth at each other. You really only know that it's a fight scene by the music and the context; otherwise you might think they were trying to waltz in full body casts.

I can't recommend this film to anyone looking for a thought provoking horror film. I can recommend it, if you want to see just how bad a movie can be, which might give you some appreciation of how much effort is involved in making good movies. So maybe it is thought provoking after all.