Taking up where Emily Post and Miss Manners left off, Diane Mapes counsels the dating-distressed on today’s new rules of courtship. This smart, savvy etiquette guide addresses both nuts-and-bolts questions (Who asks? Who pays? Who makes the first call? Who brings out the condoms?) as well as the more puzzling aspects of modern romance (Do I really need to tell my new girlfriend that I had her investigated?). Advice, behavioral examples, and dating horror stories are gleaned from a number of sources, including singles, psychologists, scholars, authors, etiquette experts, relationship coaches, and the most well-mannered people on earth, Southern women and gay men. From how to avoid dating a serial killer to what to do at a snuggle part, How to Date provides single men and women, gay and straight, with a step-by-step road map for navigating today’s romantic quicksand with humor, grace, and aplomb.
How to Date in a Post-Dating World
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Unlike almost every other dating book out there, this one includes men and women, gay and straight.… -- Bust magazine, June/July 2006
About the Author
Diane Mapes’s humorous essays on pop culture, the single life, television, travel, naked sushi, and more have appeared in many publications, including Bust, Mental Floss, the Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post. She lives in Seattle.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
29 of 31 people found the following review helpful
By T. Schmitt
Format:Paperback
Despite the title, this is not a "How-To" book.
"How To Date in a Post Dating World" is a mildly amusing 90 minute read on the awkward and amusing stages of dating. The overall style of the book is, each chapter discusses a dating topic by presenting quotes and dating war stories from the dating veterans and then expounds in essay format the main points under consideration. As such, the book is more of a discussion on dating rather than actually advice on dating. It's more about the current "state of the nation" on the dating world. Practical tips such as, "Complimenting a person's smile is a good ice breaker" are not present. Therefore, the book as a discussion on dating is a nominally good read that will hold your interest, but it will not increase your dating life.
Of what's not good, first, this book is constrained in that it's written for both men and women. If you really want to increase your dating life, then there are gender appropriate strategies you should be aware of and undertake. Second, when the book does get specific, it's on information that's basic and old advice. For instance, while it's important to wear good clothes on a first date, or for guys to make sure their fingernails are clean, this is the oldest of dating advice. The fact that many people still miss these fundamentals shows the advice is still applicable, but it's old as rocks to anyone who has spent any time on the dating scene. Besides, after learning what not to do, you're still not filled in on what you should be doing.
Of what's good, first, the book interprets the old dating dilemmas into the current day. Going beyond who should pay for the condoms, the book discusses best use of online profiles, etiquette of blogging about your most recent sexual encounter, and so on. Second, the author is a good writer, so the words do hold the attention and compels you to flip to the next page.
The bottom line is, while you will be more informed about dating with this book, there isn't enough meat in it which you can use to significantly improve your dating life. When you see that person-of-interest across the room, you'll be just as flummoxed on how to start the conversation after reading this book as before reading this book.
"How To Date in a Post Dating World" is a mildly amusing 90 minute read on the awkward and amusing stages of dating. The overall style of the book is, each chapter discusses a dating topic by presenting quotes and dating war stories from the dating veterans and then expounds in essay format the main points under consideration. As such, the book is more of a discussion on dating rather than actually advice on dating. It's more about the current "state of the nation" on the dating world. Practical tips such as, "Complimenting a person's smile is a good ice breaker" are not present. Therefore, the book as a discussion on dating is a nominally good read that will hold your interest, but it will not increase your dating life.
Of what's not good, first, this book is constrained in that it's written for both men and women. If you really want to increase your dating life, then there are gender appropriate strategies you should be aware of and undertake. Second, when the book does get specific, it's on information that's basic and old advice. For instance, while it's important to wear good clothes on a first date, or for guys to make sure their fingernails are clean, this is the oldest of dating advice. The fact that many people still miss these fundamentals shows the advice is still applicable, but it's old as rocks to anyone who has spent any time on the dating scene. Besides, after learning what not to do, you're still not filled in on what you should be doing.
Of what's good, first, the book interprets the old dating dilemmas into the current day. Going beyond who should pay for the condoms, the book discusses best use of online profiles, etiquette of blogging about your most recent sexual encounter, and so on. Second, the author is a good writer, so the words do hold the attention and compels you to flip to the next page.
The bottom line is, while you will be more informed about dating with this book, there isn't enough meat in it which you can use to significantly improve your dating life. When you see that person-of-interest across the room, you'll be just as flummoxed on how to start the conversation after reading this book as before reading this book.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By B. Henrikson
Format:Paperback
This is definitely one of the better dating books I've read.
I found this book to be encouraging - it really enforced my belief that both men and women are very lonely and that not very many people actually enjoy being single. That most of us are trying to find someone we think we deserve who we can be with long term, in order to feel loved and less lonely. And that dating is the only way you can do that, so you might as well go into it with a positive attitude that you will enjoy dating and try to make it as enjoyable for the people you date as well.
That's the main thing I took home from this book, but there is a lot more. It was also a fast, enjoyable read because it was written with a great sense of humor.
I found this book to be encouraging - it really enforced my belief that both men and women are very lonely and that not very many people actually enjoy being single. That most of us are trying to find someone we think we deserve who we can be with long term, in order to feel loved and less lonely. And that dating is the only way you can do that, so you might as well go into it with a positive attitude that you will enjoy dating and try to make it as enjoyable for the people you date as well.
That's the main thing I took home from this book, but there is a lot more. It was also a fast, enjoyable read because it was written with a great sense of humor.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By Boccaccio
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book was fun and full of good common sense--wise suggestions with a deft, intelligent, humorous touch. Lots of information, too, that I found very interesting, about the history of dating--and the latest trends (silent dating, speed dating, etc.). I like the fact that the advice in the book can be utilized by anyone who wants to date--that it's not gender specific, or specific to sexual preference.
An enjoyable read, with advice that really could make a difference in a person's dating life, if read carefully and taken to heart!
An enjoyable read, with advice that really could make a difference in a person's dating life, if read carefully and taken to heart!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars
Overly basic and old fashioned. Makes me want to stay home and watch...
I agree with the reviewer who stated that this book seems to focus on old fashioned basics like, "Try to have nice teeth." That stood out for me, too. Read more
Published on April 16, 2007 by 33 year old lawyer
3.0 out of 5 stars
Light humorous read
This is a nice read; funny, sarcastic and almost unbelievable at times.
Published on January 9, 2007 by mameyole
5.0 out of 5 stars
When is the next book coming out?
I read "How to Date" cover to cover, often wishing that it would just go on forever. Diane Mapes is a great humorist and wordsmith. Wisdom and incite flow from every page. Read more
Published on October 29, 2006 by Sierra Lascaux
5.0 out of 5 stars
A romantic etiquette guide for modern times
How can singles date? Diane Mapes maintains most people don't know how to date anymore - and while there are plenty of books telling how to snare a wonderful man or woman, few... Read more
Published on September 23, 2006 by Midwest Book Review
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great, new book all about dating
This a wonderful, realistic book about dating. The quotes and dating stories from real people can make you feel discouraged but more than that, they make you realize that all... Read more
Published on June 11, 2006 by Frankie Queen
5.0 out of 5 stars
A MUST READ FOR ALL SINGLES AND MOTHERS!
I want to thank Diane for writing the book that reinforces what we should already know, mind your manners and clean up your act! Read more
Published on May 29, 2006 by Patti Feinstein
5.0 out of 5 stars
Date This Book
It is immaculately refreshing to find what is presumably a 'dating' book to be both thoroughly researched and entirely free of the cliches and stereotypes that many contemporary... Read more
Published on May 29, 2006 by Alex Biancalana
5.0 out of 5 stars
A must-read!!
Disclaimer right off: Diane Mapes is a dear friend. But she knows I'm a straight shooter, she knows I tell it like it is... I'm so glad I don't have to lie... Read more
Published on April 27, 2006 by Leslie A., Kelly
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