Customer Reviews

The Date Rape Prevention Book

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This book contains the essential information that women and girls need to know about the high risk of being physically threatened and sexually assaulted by a "respectable" person they know. The book does a great job of describing the circumstances under which rape is likely to occur, and what women and men are thinking and doing tht encourages this awful event. I especially liked the way that he redefined rape into "a partial murder." I encourage every female and their parents and friends to read and practice what is contained in this book.

Almost all rape occurs between two people who know one another. So while most women would be careful around strangers, late at night, and while alone, paradoxically that's when they are actually safest from being raped. The most likely rapist is an intelligent, successful white middle class male who has screwy ideas about women. These ideas probably include the fact that if he becomes aroused, he believes it's his right to force sex on the woman no matter what she says. In interviews, fraternity males reported that they only took a woman seriously after she said "no" more than thirty times. If you are in fear for your life, are you really going to be that persistent?

The book is filled with good advice on how to spot one of these mixed-up males. I was interested to learn that many men who have committed rape don't think that they have. That's how serious this problem is.

Women need to be more careful than ever around acquaintances. Easy availability of indiscernable drugs that can cause a woman to pass out means that women need to pour their own drinks (even if they are water) and keep an eye on them. Almost all of the rapes by acquaintances also involve use of alcohol or drugs.

The book also explores the problems of recovering from a rape, dealing with stalkers, and avoiding domestic violence.

An excellent final chapter speaks directly to men, and challenges the assumptions that some men use to justify rape.

The only part of the book that I did not like was a section on how to fight back. It has a list of some pretty gruesome things to do. I thought that this list would discourage women from using these methods, rather than encouraging them. They basically encourage permanently maiming the male in horrible ways. I suggest a self-defense course instead that focuses on developing habits of how to react under the circumstances. My wife and older daughter have both done this, and found it provides more confidence.

If you are like me, you will find it chilling to read the cases of successful, handsome men who could attract all the female sexual interest they could handle . . . who raped women anyway. Rape is usually about power rather than sex.

The really scary statistics in this book relate to the fact that only 5 percent of acquaintance rapes are being reported. Apparently, men who rape and get away with it will rape again, and again, and again. The book reports that one woman in three will have this horrible experience at least once, a waking nightmare made worse by the fact that she knows the rapist.

If we had a disease this serious, we would be spending billions to stop it. It's time that we get serious about preventing rape! Yet recovering from rape is much worse than recovering from most surgeries.

I suggest that you take this opportunity to think of other ways that acquaintances can create problems. Some people prey financially on those they know. Others steal. Still others poison relationships on purpose to their own advantage. Think about it . . . and act from an appropriate wariness.

Enjoy life, by pursuing caution!

Scott Lindquist has written an extremely practical, easy-to-read book packed with good advice. As a professional, he has many statistics and case histories to back up his advice. Working with college women, I see every day the huge need and vulnerability that this book addresses. I have already passed the advice on to some students. I highly recommend this book.

Educating young men and women about date rape is an essential part of a civilized society. Teaching young girls about rape, and how to reduce their chances based on observance, facts, and self-defense is crucial. Therefore, buying this book for teenage girls is a good idea.

This is not to say the author is blaming the victim... but rather that a person is able to empower themselves to learn more about this epidemic crime that is hardly ever reported or prosecuted, and learn how to assess a situation where normally she would suppress her radar in order to appear agreeable.

The idea of knowing more about this crime as he outlines in this book, and arming yourself with basic self-defense techniques (both verbal and physical) could especially be helpful in a date-rape situation where the case is normally that the victim knows the attacker.

Mothers should be giving this to their daughters, soroitites should be giving this to their sisters, and friends should be giving it to each other. This book covers everything...and I mean everything!

It not only is the most effective prevention guide, but it also talks about danger spots, how to protect ourselves, and most important the author doesn't put all the responsibility on the woman- he has an entire chapter dedicated to the male perspective on rape and how they need to change, but that until they do- women need to be prepared.

If you know someone going off to college- male or female... buy this book for them.

If you know someone who is re-entering the dating scene after being in a relationship for years... by this book for them!

This is an emminently sensible and easy to read guide to avoiding date rape. I can't agree with everything in it but the basic idea that the reader needs to take responsibility for saving her own life impressed me.

Kimberley Lindsay Wilson, author of 11 Things Mama Should Have Told You About Men.

As technology advances, men have discovered more ways to take advantage of women and girls. This book helps women and girls use technology to protect themselves. Not only does the guide provide medical information about date rape drugs, but it also gives practical advise about surveying one's environment when out on the town. Lindquist also tells you how to defend yourself if you get into physical danger, and the methods are not like the convoluted jabs and flips that you see on T.V. I think this book is especially good for younger women who don't have as much experience being out on their own. Many victims of crimes are targeted by predators because they act vulnerable in public, this book will give women the confidence that will deter criminals.

The attitude that makes a book like this possible is one root of the world's sickness that results in a woman being raped every two minutes. The underlying attitude is one that accepts rape and views it as a women's problem.

While there are things women can do to prevent rape, a focus on women detracts attention from the need for ALL SECTORS of society, and perhaps most importantly men, to change their attitudes and behavior. This book is in the "self help" section and explicitly directed (by the subtitle) toward women, yet are women really the ones that need help, that need to change themselves? If your response is yes, then you are part of the culture that blames women for rape. The book has one whole chapter directed at what men need to do to change, but doesn't that seem quite disproportionate?

If you'd like to learn more about what REALLY needs to be done to keep rape from happening, pick up Transforming A Rape Culture. Appropriate for women AND men readers, it's a book that _will_ deliver on promises to enlighten you about the phenomenon of rape.

Common sense is always beneficial in prevention, however addressing women with details about what to do to avoid an assault is neither appropriate nor relevant. Or perhaps the author has just used the wrong title? This is not a prevention book. One does not prevent sexual assault by addressing potential victims. The victims are not the ones committing the assault. Only one chapter is directed at men. When men are doing 97% of the reported sexual assaults, any book addressing rape prevention needs to have one chapter dedicated to potential victims/survivors and the rest directed at men.

If you are looking for a true prevention book look for one that discusses how men are socialized to make sexual conquests and dehumanize women. Look for the book that has the tagline of "Essential Guide for Boys and Men." Look for one that supports and encourages men to step outside of the rape culture they grow up in. It isn't enough to tell these men that sexually assaulting is wrong, but we need to give books and discussions that explain why one wouldn't want to sexually assault someone, and then give examples of good communication and how to have healthy relationships to back up that education. Most men don't want to sexually assault anyone. They just need respectful dialoge with an individual, in person or an author, who understands the situation they are in of not wanting to sexually assault while living in a culture that encourages them to do so- and how that situation leaves these boys and men without tools to effectively navigate outside of our pro-rape cultural climate.

Any book addressing rape prevention needs to target potential assailants, not potential victims. Even if one does not intend to victim blame, listing common sense in women as prevention is pointing in that blaming direction. Like I said before, common sense is a great thing to have in protecting yourself, but books about sexual assault prevention should have nothing to do with survivors (potential or actualized), and everything to do with the young men who need the information.

Bottom line: If you're looking for a book on how to prevent sexual assault, do not look here.