Customer Reviews

Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Mid-Life Romance (The Best Half of Life)

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Since many of my clients are indeed over 50, I had high hopes for Sharon Romm's *Dating After 50: Negotiating the Minefields of Midlife Romance* Unfortunately, I was disappointed. Despite the author's professional background (psychiatry) and personal dating experience (an active date search with 751 responses before meeting her now-boyfriend), I found her suggestions tedious, simplistic, and depressing. Her orientation towards the reader's search is so cautious and wary that I even felt a little frightened. Maybe that's where the *minefields* of the title came from. Granted, mate searching at any age has it's difficulties, but finding a Sweetheart doesn't have to be as hard as the author alludes. Believe it or not, she ends the book with a chapter entitled *Breaking Up*! While certainly when and how to break off a romantic relationship are important skills, to end a book on dating with a how-to for break-ups is a horrid message. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this book.

Kathryn Lord, Your Romance Coach
www.Find-a-Sweetheart.com

You're a smart, accomplished, mature adult with a lot to offer. You're professionally competent and confident. But does the idea of launching a romantic voyage of discovery just feel too overwhelming, confusing and potentially embarrassing? If so, read this book for an even-handed exploration of the modern possibilities for meeting new partners and friends. It's hard for sophisticated adults to subject themselves to the uncertainties of looking for love and Ms Romm uses matter-of-fact examples and her own experience to lower the anxiety threshold and explore the options, step-by-step. Most current dating books focus on the internet as the most efficient way to connect with appropriate new partners and this one does, too. The author details her own experiences and provides lots of practical advice from how to word your descriptions, to where and how to meet, topics to steer clear of, red flags, guidelines and positive reinforcement. And she even gives you some help with how to kindly phrase and deliver a graceful exit speech too, which let's face it you're going to have to manage at some point unless you marry the first person you meet.

Dr. Romm's monograph constitutes nothing more than just a conglomeration of banal rantings that have been, in all probability, dictated while she engaged in some mind-numbing activity. It is highly reiterative of "Guerrilla Dating" published in the early 90's. It is sad that her vulgar self-marketing campaign, e.g. salsa dancing, personal ads, constitutes a list of frenetic activities designed for those who cannot make any meaningful personal connections in their quotidian lives. Instead, it is proposed they go to activities, not for intrinsic interest, but as a means of luring a catch. The most tragic suggestion is Dr. Romm's proposal of a dehumanizing tickler file specifying such parameters as the name of date, general impression, and future contact. Along these lines, she should have incorporated results of relevant blood titers or annual income. It is of question that if she were so successful in her dating strategy, why does she still "appreciate" her intermittently silent Nordic partner. Excuse me, but where is the mention of love and meaningful joining of spirits? Do not waste your money on this silly pap.

I simply do not understand the two previous reviews. This book is a gem for its sensible advice, its humor, its destruction of the negative myths surrounding later life love. It's full of good do's and don'ts and as far as suggesting that one keep a notebook of one's online activity, it's a great idea. I have seen friends get overwhelmed with the responses online and they needed help remembering and sorting out who sent what and what that person was like.

Excellent advice about first dates, too---even giving scripts for ending the date if it is obvious that there is no match.

Dr. Romm offers the valuable double perspective of someone who has been dating online herself and of a professional who is not only a psychiatrist but also sees clients who are wrestling with these issues.

I am giving this book to some friends who are afraid to try to find a match online. They will be in good hands.

Midlife romance isn't the same as first-time dating: if you haven't dated for a long time and are older, there's a whole new set of rules for dating, from advertising for a date and changing attitude to handling expectations on all sides. Dr. Sharon Romm covers all these attitude concerns in Dating After 50: Negotiating The Minefields Of Mid-Life Romance, packed with tips on the safest, most efficient way to find dates - and how to go on them successfully. Older adults will find practical tips range from handling second families and former spouses to money and retirement concerns.

Written by an expert and she shares personal experience... Good information, well written. Addresses issues and gives thoughtful commentary. A good read.

This book is meant for people who need reassurance as they get into dating after years of absence, usually because they have been in long-term relationships. Romm gives a very helpful overview of the process, from how to go about meeting prospective dates, to how to handle a first date, and even to how to break up and move on if that is needed. She strongly recommends using printed ads and much of her advice is geared to writing a good add and dealing with the issues that come up as the result of meeting people through ads. But she is not focused very narrowly on advertising, for she has an entire chapter on how to meet people through other strategies such as getting into different organizations. She mentions online dating tangentially, even though much of what she says about printed ads can also be applied to developing profiles and meeting people through online services. She also has an excellent chapter on when and under what circumstances to begin having sex with your date.

My only criticism is that she could have dealt more directly and extensively with online dating, for that seems to be the wave of the future. Even so, this book is full of helpful ideas and sound guidance. I recommend it highly.

Gordon Scott Edwards, author of Internet Safari, Finding Love Online At 65

I wish I had read this book first, because it offers so much practical advice for our age group. Especially good is the review of different personal profiles with good tips for writing your own. Every step of building a relationship is addressed with straight forward suggestions to think about, from getting ready to breaking up.