Dating Design Patterns [Paperback]

Solveig Haugland (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0974312002 | ISBN-13: 978-0974312002 | Publication Date: October 21, 2003

The Design Patterns Conspiracy: How It All Happened When the Gang, as well as Grady, Christopher, and the Fifth member of the Gang of Four, Steve Swillvellis, were in college, they invented the ultimate reusable set of patterns for the most complex system of interactions available: dating. Their success with women was famous throughout the state. As Christopher said at the time, "Do you have any idea how unusual that is, for guys who read Knuth for fun?"

Then the sweet smell of success turned bitter. They realized that their grades were slipping, they were no longer as interested in computer science, and that they had more than once considered careers in marketing. They realized that while it is extremely pleasurable to have the dating world by the tail, that there were Higher Considerations. The scientific advancement and the economy of the world would be destroyed if all geeks were out dancing on Saturday nights instead of debugging.

So they suppressed their work and, to distract those who had heard of their remarkable book on patterns, they produced Design Patterns instead.

The dating work remained suppressed until the Fifth member of the Gang of Four could keep silent no longer and brought forth the original WordStar manuscripts, additional notes still penciled in the margins. He asked the Gang of Females to edit and publish the work.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"I laughed so hard I dropped my copy in the bathtub." -- Alistair Cockburn, author of "Agile Software Development"

"I'm going to find whoever told me that geekdom was a celibate profession and make them eat this book!" -- Ken Arnold, coauthor of "The Java Programming Language"

"This might be the greatest breakthrough in the history of geekdom...brilliantly funny." -- Joe Litton, November 2003, www.joelitton.net

The authors assure [us] that the benefits of successful implementation outweigh the amount of resources that need to be dedicated. -- Slashdot, prostoalex, April 2004

This book makes an excellent footrest for position #87 [of Trojan Proxy], especially if using the optional watermelon. -- Ken Arnold, coauthor of The Java Programming Language

From the Inside Flap

When the Gang, as well as Grady, Christopher, and the Fifth member of the Gang of Four, Steve Swillvellis, were in college, they invented the ultimate reusable set of patterns for the most complex system of interactions available: dating.

Their success with women was famous throughout the state. As Christopher said at the time, “Do you have any idea how unusual that is, for guys who read Knuth for fun?”

Then the sweet smell of success turned bitter. They realized that their grades were slipping, they were no longer as interested in computer science, and that they had more than once considered careers in marketing. They realized that while it is extremely pleasurable to have the dating world by the tail, that there were Higher Considerations. The scientific advancement and the economy of the world would be destroyed if all geeks were out dancing on Saturday nights instead of debugging.

So they suppressed their work and, to distract those who had heard of their remarkable book on patterns, they produced Design Patterns instead.

The dating work remained suppressed until the Fifth member of the Gang of Four could keep silent no longer and brought forth the original WordStar manuscripts, additional notes still penciled in the margins. He asked the Gang of Females to edit and publish the work.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 150 pages
• Publisher: Solveig Haugland (October 21, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0974312002
• ISBN-13: 978-0974312002
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 7.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,515,565 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Who knew?, December 14, 2003

By 

Katherine Sierra "Passion for learning" (California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Dating Design Patterns (Paperback)

We all know that software development has benefited tremendously from design patterns. But I had no idea what you could REALLY do with patterns. Fortunately, my partner Bert was a beta tester for some of these patterns, and let me tell you, without half-bad-boy-plus-protocol, I'm not sure he would BE my partner today ; )
If you have a brother/friend/co-worker geek in your life who is still single and searching, you might want to slip this under the tree as, you know, a "gag" gift. But it's really a lot more than that--there's REAL dating advice in there! Don't be fooled by the fun; this book is really stealth love-life-improvement wrapped up in a package that will look funny and geeky and won't embarass the guy who needs it. He can put it on his desk or bookshelf where it'll look right at home next to the Dilbert-a-day thing. It'll make every developer/programmer (and yes, even the *architects*) laugh out loud, but secretly they'll be learning how to apply a pattern language of design to... dating. (Sorry, no sex patterns in this edition, so if the advice works and you find yourself in a successful dating scenario, you're on your own for what happens after that. Perhaps there'll be an eXtreme Dating (XD) version?)

Heck, forget the single guys--if you're a woman, you might give this to your partner if he's forgotten (or never knew) how to *act* like he's trying to sweep you off your feet.
There's one more reason I like this book... if even a fraction of the guys who work in cube farms take up the advice, the workplace will get a lot more fun and stimulating! How could more chocolate, games, and toys at work be anything but GOOD? (Yes, they really are girl magnets...although they might be guy magnets too, but that's OK too... the more friends you have in your camp, the more likely it may be that one of them will introduce you to your next hot date. And don't forget the puppy.
This is no fluffy, foofy, self-help, mars vs. venus, get-in-touch-with-your-inner-whatever book. You'll find all the things that make a software developer feel right at home, beginning with UML. If you've read GOF or just skimmed it, you know what to expect from the format.
So, get it for the humour, get it for the practical advice. And for gosh sakes, go get a slinky, a couple of unusual action figures (there's even an Einstein action figure now and a Starbucks-style barrista--either one a better choice than G.I.Joe) and some chocolate, right now, and put them on your desk tomorrow.
Have fun!!

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best use of the term "private members" in a patterns book, December 26, 2003

By 

Michael Arons - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dating Design Patterns (Paperback)

OK, when I saw this under the tree I thought that the Gang had a new little workbook deal out or something, and then I saw that there was a silhouette of a naked woman on the front and that it was very very doubtful that this was going to help me figure out distributed programming. But at that point I didn't care anymore and it is now officially my favorite gift. Applies the rules of patterns (strategies, refactorings, all that) to dating and it's hilarious. Definitely a kick for anyone with even remotely geeky tendencies.

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is hilarious, December 16, 2003

By 

Alan Manse (San Jose) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dating Design Patterns (Paperback)

I don't know what kind of mind is so into patterns that they come out the other end with this book, but the result is very funny. You need to be a geek to get it, but if you do it's definitely worth it. It's a satire of patterns and of some fairly leading figures in the computer industry. Basically the authors say that the Gang of Four came up with these dating patterns in college: Trojan Proxy, Interested Listener, Half Bad Boy Plus Protocol, Unexpected Persistence, Container-Managed Relationships, etc. Christopher Alexander was in on it, too, starting off kind of geeky and playing Dungeons and Dragons and going on to be a dating machine.

I've never laughed this hard reading a patterns book. (Well, OK, I haven't really laughed much at all at patterns books.) Can hardly wait for the book on refactoring. Wonder if Martin Fowler was dating refactoring god in college?