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Dating The Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You
 
 
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Dating The Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You [Paperback]

Christie Hartman (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 1, 2007
In today's world, nearly every woman will date a separated or divorced man at some point during her single life. These men come with numerous unexpected challenges, such as children, difficult ex-wives, substantial financial obligations, and unresolved grief, guilt, or anger. "Dating the Divorced Man" helps women: detect problems early on-and tackle them; identify problems that "come with the territory" vs. those that are unacceptable; evaluate whether marriage is ultimately the right choice; and asks those tougher divorced-man questions like: is it ok for him to spend time with his ex? How do you spot a man on the rebound? When is a divorced man ready to date? Written for today's single women and filled-with real-life insight and advice, "Dating the Divorced Man" offers the tools they need to make the right decisions.

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Dating The Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You + How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man without Losing Your Mind + How to Marry a Divorced Man
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Christie Hartman, Ph.D. is currently employed at the University of Colorado. She has taught college-level psychology and presented original research at national conferences. She also has considerable personal experience with dating separated and divorced men and has conducted extensive research on dating, divorce, and stepfamilies.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media; 2 edition (March 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1598691414
  • ISBN-13: 978-1598691412
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #262,569 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Christie Hartman is a psychologist, author, and coach who specializes in research-based advice for singles looking to find love. She is the author of "Dating the Divorced Man: Sort through the Baggage to Decide if He's Right for You." This groundbreaking, highly successful book leaves no stone unturned when it comes to the numerous challenges that come with dating divorced men and men with children. "Dating the Divorced Man" has been called "a MUST READ for anyone considering dating a man who is separated, divorcing, divorced, or still married but shopping for a girlfriend."

Christie is also the author of "It's Not Him, It's YOU: The Truth You May Not Want - But Need - To Hear." In this insightful and research-based book, Christie covers women's Top Ten dating mistakes, from the pitfalls of not initiating contact with men to the destructive power of a bad attitude. Recognizing that dating will challenge even the most confident woman, "It's Not Him, It's YOU" debunks many of the myths women are taught about dating and empowers them in their search for Mr. Right.

Most recently, Christie released her first book for men, "Changing Your Game: A Man's Guide to Success with Women." Recognizing that achieving success with women isn't about tactics, ploys, or trolling bars to get women into the sack, "Changing Your Game" shows men the mindset and skills that lead to real success with women.

As a dating coach, Christie has helped women improve their dating skills and create online dating profiles that attract men. She has also coached women from around the world who are dating separated and divorced men, providing support and advice for the difficulties these women face.

Christie has appeared on national television, including the Today Show and Fox News Live, and has had numerous appearances on local TV shows such as News2 Denver and the Everyday show with Natalie Tysdal. She has made numerous radio appearances across the U.S and Canada, published articles with social websites such as SocialJane.com and Cupid's Pulse, and has been quoted in articles for CNN.com, Match.com, Cosmopolitan, Women's Health, and Shape.

Christie earned her master's and doctoral degrees from the University of Colorado, where she studied psychopathology and behavioral genetics. A resident of Denver, Christie enjoys the outdoors: she's a runner who has completed two marathons as well as numerous half-marathons and mountain trail races. She's hiked eight 14ers (mountains over 14,000 feet), she camps and skis, and she enjoys the occasional poker game.

 

Customer Reviews

19 Reviews
5 star:
 (14)
4 star:
 (3)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (19 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Single in LA, September 29, 2008
By 
I've read this book twice and I wanted to write a review because I found reading other women's experiences with a book and applying their personal situations to it very helpful. This book is not as breezy and whimsical as other self-help books on dating a "divorced/divorcing" man with kids, but it is very thorough, sympathetic and right on about a lot of things that we women go through (in my case, dating a "divorcing" man, which is the riskiest of them all!) Before I read the book, I was mostly confused, insecure, and frustrated about always coming second to his kids and his divorce; always waiting for the phone to ring and not sure whether I could have a weekend getaway or a holiday with my man. I wanted more - but felt I couldn't demand more because I didn't want to add more pressure in his life. And when I just didn't care and went on with my life (work, friends, hobbies and travels) I felt guilty! I felt I was abandoning him, during the time when he needed me the most. Wrong! Rather than feeling bad all the time, the book taught me how to be true to myself and put "me" first. To put enough distance to see where his divorce ends up (not get involved with all the messy details...) and to not push things too soon. Compared to other self help books on the subject, the author never wants you to become second best; to be disrespected at any time or to be taken for granted...you should be treated an equal, especially once the relationship takes a serious turn. Kids need parenting and time and effort, totally understandable. But you shouldn't compromise your own needs for them. In a nutshell, the author gives women more value than what they feel they deserve. I will never forget her input/output notion: if the input far outweighs the output then maybe the relationship is not worth it. And if you will go through all the challenges and struggles of dating a divorced/divorcing man...he should be "fabulous" and totally worth it. This was great and helped me muddle through all the confusion.
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Hartman tells us exactly what we need to know about this key demographic!, October 18, 2007
This review is from: Dating The Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You (Paperback)
Dr. Christie Hartman's "Dating the Divorced Man" gives single women a no-nonsense manual for getting to know this key demographic in the dating world. With specific examples, she clearly defines the different states of separated/divorcing/divorced men and the challenges that they can present. That said, she also leaves room for mature women to make their own choices based on what each individual is comfortable with, which is much more helpful than a black-and-white instruction book in this murky area. I recommend her book to any single woman -- if you wait until you're already dating a divorced man to read it, you may have made key mistakes already!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Good read, Good questions, August 28, 2007
This review is from: Dating The Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You (Paperback)
At the time I read this book, I had already been dating a divorced man for about 5 months so I was a bit late on ready it. I came across the book because I wanted to know if there was information out there for women in my circumstance and what questions/clues should I be asking or tune into to make sure the guy was not a flake.

Surely enough, the book was very helpful. The author presents different scenarios (hypothetically of course) and questions women should keep in mind when entering into a relationship/acquiantance of a divorced man. I'll point out that the reading also applies for divorcing/separated men as well. For my circumstance, I was on track and getting the truth about the situation.

Over all, it is a good read and has lots of "food for thought".
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
difficulty index, stated reason for disapproval, divorced man with children, divorcing man, divorcing men, separated and divorced men, parenting time, separated man, the divorced man, equal trouble
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Red Flag, Low Output, Ask Plenty of Questions, Difficult Ex-wife
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