Customer Reviews

Daughters Gone Wild, Dads Gone Crazy: Battle-Tested Tips From a Father and Daughter Who Survived the Teenage Years

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A couple of years ago the movie Thirteen, staring Holly Hunter and Evan Rachel Wood, had people talking with its frank depictions of early adolescent drug use, sexual promiscuity, and emotional angst. Media outlets picked up on the public's level of shock that the movie would show 13-year-olds engaged in such behavior. "Maybe 16- or 17-year-olds, but surely not kids so young?! And not middle-class white girls!" seemed to be the general feeling.

It didn't take long for adolescent psychologists to make the talk show rounds and confirm that this was, indeed, an accurate picture of how many young girls are starting to act out as they enter the teen years. And the movie only confirmed what pastor Charles Stone and his wife had learned the hard way, just a few years earlier, when their oldest daughter, Heather, turned 13.

Today Heather is 22 and a committed Christian pursuing a career in nursing. But for five years she tore herself and her family apart with behavior that the word "bad" doesn't modify with justice. Emergency rooms, a manual labor camp, mental hospitals, and countless rehab units became the terrain of their lives. In DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY, Heather and her father tell their story in a he said/she said format for which a courtroom scene (he said) sets the stage:

"A handful of fidgety people sat in the nearly empty room. We took our seats in the back, and after a few moments the bailiff barked his customary, "All rise!" A dark-haired judge emerged from the side door. He seemed to float to his bench in his ankle-length black robe. I could feel my shoulders begin to tighten as we nervously sat in Courtroom A.

'Charles and Sherryl Stone vs. Heather Stone: Case number 43. Please come forward,' he bellowed.

The bailiff opened the waist-high swinging door that led to the judge's bench. The judge motioned for us to sit at the well-worn Formica covered table in front of him. He peered over his black-rimmed glasses. 'So what's the problem?' he asked.

With a dry mouth I muttered, 'We just can't handle our oldest daughter anymore. She runs away, stays out all night with boys, uses drugs and alcohol, curses us, and skips school. We've consulted a half-dozen psychologists. We've pled with her, fought with her, and grounded her. We're desperate. We need your help.'"

The judge threatened Heather with an ankle monitoring device if she didn't start obeying her parents, but it would take a lot more before she was ready and willing to make changes. No longer opposing litigants, father and daughter want to provide hope, encouragement, and a few hard-earned bits of advice to others facing similar turmoil. DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY is divided into eleven chapters, nine of which are devoted to what the duo calls "relational life preservers." They include #1 "Don't Panic at the First Warning Signs," #5 "Reconnect with Gifts from the Heart," and #7 "Chose Your Battles --- And Lose Some on Purpose." The first half of each chapter features Charles speaking to dads and the second half features Heather talking to daughters.

This book is what I like to call a teaching memoir. It doesn't shy away from bullet-pointed instruction, but its soul is that of a narrative. And it's in the storytelling that this book is most powerful and instructive. Both father and daughter display a penchant for writing as they relive, in often emotionally raw and painful detail, their conflicts. Charles speaks honestly about the struggle to continue to love his daughter in the face of her vitriol, and Heather speaks candidly about the jabs from fellow students and friends --- incidents adults often overlook as petty in the lives of their children --- that fed her frustration and rebellion.

DAUGHTERS GONE WILD, DADS GONE CRAZY is geared for fathers and daughters, but many of its lessons would well serve any combination of parent/child conflict. In fact, I'd encourage all parents to read this book, regardless of your children's behavior or age. It will make you a better parent and a better support for fellow parents dealing with out-of-control children.

--- Reviewed by Lisa Ann Cockrel

As the author of "Relief for Hurting Parents," I read other parenting books with care to detail. I found "Daughters Gone Wild, Dads Gone Crazy" to be a well-written book that gives instant help and encouragement to parents who are doing their best to survive adolescent challenges and to recover and preserve their children. I sank to the depths of father-daughter pain with authors Charles and Heather Stone, but I also found myself laughing with them at the inadvertent funny things that occur when family matters are so-o-o serious. Their candid admission of mistakes allows readers to learn from their mistakes. Their successes and recommendations offer new hope to families who are still in the jungle from which the Stones have broken free. My counseling clinic is recommending this book to clients. -Buddy Scott

This is a great resource for parents of teenagers who are facing the difficult challenges of adolescence in today's world.

It is co-written from the perspectives of both the father of a rebellious teen and the former rebel herself (she is now an adult in nursing school). There is an ongoing narrative telling about the struggles of Heather Stone starting at age 13, as well as those of her parents, Charles and Sherryl. Along with their encouraging story, there are nine 'relational life preservers' to help those with similar struggles.

There is a Christian perspective throughout this volume. Charles is a pastor and Heather is a prodigal daughter who has returned to her roots.

Although I have been fortunate enough to avoid most of the extremely difficult situations that Charles and his wife faced with Heather, I recommend this book for any parent of a teenager. Even parents of teens who are not totally rebellious face many trying times through the adolescent years. The advice given will be helpful for any parent with teenagers.

It's amazing to read of the downhill spiral of the relationship of this father and daughter (Charles and Heather). But then even more amazing to watch God put their relationship back together again. Lots of helpful advice here for parents and for teens (Heather writes directly to the teens while Charles writes to the parents). Read it if you're in a struggling parent/child relationship, or even if you want to just keep your current relationship healthy.

I have read this book and have recommended it to several people. I have also bought many to hand out to people. I am a man who comes from a family of all boys. FOUR. So, for most of my life I have been around women but being from the world of men. I can easily say that when I was got married had a wife and two daughters I was not prepared for all the emotions and drama that they would experience and "inflict" on me and our family. As a man I wanted to react like a man and get mad and physical several times. This is a book about someone, who although I do not know the mans past, I could still relate. They actually went through MORE drama and experiences than I have gone through although very similar. I am very happy that they did not give up on each other and eventually made it through a very difficult time. As boys we would just get physical to solve our problems. I am very grateful that they could find it in their hearts to share their candid experience with others and give the praise to God. Thank you for writing this book if you read this review, Stone family.

I purchased the book because I was intrigued to see what kind of advice the father and daugther would give to someone in a similar situation. Their advice not only makes sense for someone in a severe conflict with their parent/child but is good advice in general for not only parenting but for many other relationships in life. The book was not difficult reading and was nicely laid out with advice to fathers, advice to daughters, and advice for moms. The only complaint I had with the book was that there were some layout mistakes in the text. In at least one place the end of a sentence was missing as though the layout person didn't open the text box far enough to allow all the sentence to print. There were missing words and duplicate words but it wasn't often enough to discourage me from reading and enjoying the book. I recommend the book to all parents, not just those going through difficulty with their children.