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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: HCI (August 21, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 075730124X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757301247
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #385,356 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The Firmans, a mother-and-daughter team, were two of the coauthors of Chicken Soup for the Mother & Daughter Soul. Taking a more hands-on approach, they offer this look at the often turbulent, emotionally charged relationship between moms and their daughters. Using examples from their own lives as well as case studies from their patients (they run workshops on mother-daughter relationships), the Firmans describe the most common reasons these relationships experience stress and the various strategies readers can use to lessen conflict. Some of the scenarios will be familiar: adult children still wanting to please their parents or expecting their mothers to bail them out of trouble; mothers who can't see their daughters as mature adults able to make their own decisions. The authors intersperse the anecdotes with exercises that include self-assessment tests and writing assignments to help readers identify their roles and how they can make changes. This book mostly deals with mother-daughter relationships between two adults, and the Firmans write, "If daughters manage to become `ex-children,' to think and feel like adults, separate and autonomous, they have taken a huge step. So, too, when mothers can become `mother graduates' and can experience themselves as adults beyond the mothering role, they have taken an important step in their lives." Readers looking for the soothing tone of a Chicken Soup volume will be disappointed, as this book, while upbeat, is squarely positioned as a standard self-help volume.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Julie Firman is the mother of two daughters, Dorothy Firman and Frances Firman Salorio, her coauthors on Chicken Soup for the Mother & Daughter Soul, and one son. She and her daughters lead workshops on mother/daughter relationships at conferences around the country.

Dorothy Firman, Ed.D., is a psychotherapist, author, speaker and trainer who has worked in the field of mother/daughter relationships for more than twenty years. The Firmans reside in Massachusetts.

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Jacqueline S. Thompson on August 28, 2001
Format: Paperback
I have had this book since it was published, about 1990. On my initial reading I thought it heavily favored the daughter's point of view. Since rereading it recently I found it ofers a fairness I hadn't seen before, and some profound insights into the value the book offers. Examples: "The best advice you can give yourself is yours." "May you have the joy of following your own advice." And particularly the thought that if after reading the book we can see the way we can change, we are in a powerful position. On the contrary, if we think in terms of underling sections just to point out to the other how wrong she is, then we've lost that power. I appreciated the fact the book did not tell us to run out for a therapy session. We have the power and the potential within ourselves to change and to compromise for the sake of a wonderful daughter/mother relationship.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By LA Cowgirl on September 15, 2008
Format: Paperback
The beginning of the book started to become promising, but as I neared the end, it just became boring to me. The exercises at the end of each chapter are a bit lengthy, and moreso guided towards self-discovery. I DO believe that self-discovery can lead to a better understanding with your role in relationships, especially that with your mother/daughter, but it just didn't seem to offer as much understanding pertinent to my situation. I prefer "When you and your mother can't be friends" by Victoria Secunda.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By H. L. Yukimura on December 28, 2009
Format: Paperback
Helpful in many ways but somewhat pedantic. Authors based in transpersonal and psychosynthesis psychologies and somewhat dated. Hardly a mention made of family dynamics and the role of the father regarding the mother and daughter. Exercises offered at end of each section are good.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 22, 2003
Format: Paperback
Working the program of this book is not as good as attending a mother-daughter workshop with the Firmans
but it sure is a cut above the usual mother-daughter literature. The insights, ideas, suggestions and exercises will enhance the life of any woman and will move the mother-daughter relationship to a new level for anyone who
works through the entire book.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By PEAPIE on June 13, 2008
Format: Paperback
I enjoyed this book in that it covered many aspects of what women go through as a daughter and as a mother in trying to find one's own separate identity for both the mother and the daughter. It is an easy read and has much for the reader to contemplate in terms of their own relationship with their mother or daughter. I would recommend this book for someone who is looking for ways to understand the dynamics of these relationships and ideas of how to make it work.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Jacqueline S. Thompson on August 28, 2001
Format: Paperback
I have had this book since it was published, about 1990. On my initial reading I thought it heavily favored the daughter's point of view. Since rereading it recently I found it offers a fairness I hadn't seen before, and some profound insights into the value the book offers. Examples: "The best advice you can give yourself is yours." "May you have the joy of following your own advice." And particularly the thought that if after reading the book we can see the way we can change, we are in a powerful position. On the contrary, if we think in terms of underling sections just to point out to the other how wrong she is, then we've lost that power. I appreciated the fact the book did not tell us to run out for a therapy session. We have the power and the potential within ourselves to change and to compromise for the sake of a wonderful daughter/mother relationship.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Jacqueline Wales, author of When the Crow Sings on June 3, 2007
Format: Paperback
It isn't always pretty, but it will work! Healing a damaged mother/daughter relationship is vital to a healthy woman's life. This book can help you repair damage, sustain progress, and increase your understanding of each other.
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