He defines a "formal" wedding as one involving as much planning as a hydroelectric dam, but costing more. He's come up with a diet called the Perpetual Class Reunion Weight Loss Plan in which a gathering of your high school class is planned for every weekend. He enthusiastically promotes Talk Like A Pirate Day when everybody is supposed to ... talk like a pirate. He's Dave Barry, who's been described by a top-notch newspaper as the funniest man in America and by a crazed fan as "a silly man with a Pulitzer." This prizewinner's weekly newspaper column is syndicated in 500 newspapers. His books number more than twenty-five and include his latest New York Times best-seller, Boogers Are My Beat. The Dave Barry Calendar is making its fourteenth appearance. The guy should really be considered for sainthood. After all, he did give out the toll-free number of one of the biggest telemarketing associations to his readers. He was sure the telemarketing folds would love to hear our "constitutionally protected" views on those dinnertime calls. You can't get more virtuous than that.
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