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Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up [Kindle Edition]

Dave Barry
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $16.00
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $6.01 (38%)
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about -- exploding Pop-Tarts, for example -- are real. In fact, Dave's main job as a humor columnist -- aside from playing Stealth Fighter on his computer to avoid writing humor columns -- is to point out what is already funny in a world that is seriously bonkers.

In Dave's world, amazing but true adventures occur every day, as the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist investigates a ground-breaking anti-flatulence product recommended to him by a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court; the ecologically dangerous shellfish attacking women's undergarments; and the epidemic of snakes and woodland creatures currently appearing in people's toilets. Dave's bad song contest required him to read thousands of entries from people like you; now, people like you could have the pleasure of being badgered all the bad songs that badger Dave.

Dave also participates in real-life form of investigative journalism that actually require him to leave the house: marching with the Lawn Rangers precision lawnmower drill team of Arcola, Illinois; playing lead guitar in an extremely mediocre rock band with Stephen King and other literary lights; and taking his little boat Buster from its happy berth in the Barry garage onto Miami's high seas, only to run it aground. He's even appeared in an episode of "Dave's World," the CBS television show based on his real life -- only taller -- in which he bids for an air conditioner.

Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up includes longer feature pieces by Dave in which many of the featured facts happen to be accurate. Now you can read Dave Barry on UFO thrillseekers and the Elvis lovers who hang out at Graceland -- all articles that show Dave at his best and smartest. Complete with illustrations by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Jeff MacNelly, Dave Barry is Not Making This Up brings you straight into the truly twisted center of Dave's world.

On Buying His Son Sneakers: The salesperson's tone of voice carried the clear implication that he was going to call the Child Abuse Hotline if I didn't care enough, as a parent, to take out a second mortgage so I could purchase sufficient sneakerage for my son.... We need Congress to pass a law requiring the sneaker industry to return to the system we had when I was growing up, under which there was only one kind of sneakers, namely U.S. Keds, which were made from Army surplus tents and which cost about $10, or roughly $1 per pound.

On Being Left-Handed: According to the researchers, left-handers die sooner than right-handers because they have more accidents. I know why this is: We read books backward...This saves us a lot of time with murder mysteries, but it's a bad habit when we're reading, say, the instructions for operating a barbecue grill, and we begin with "Step 147: Ignite Gas."

On The Uses Of Exploding Pop-Tarts: When we detected incoming missiles, we'd simply hold the toaster levers down via some method (possibly involving Tom and Roseanne Arnold) and within a few minutes Whoom the country would be surrounded by a protective wall of flames, and the missiles would either burn up or get knocked off course and detonate harmlessly in some place like New Jersey.

On Readers' Reaction To The Bad Song Contest: Sometimes the voters were so angry that they weren't even sure of the name of the song they hated. There were votes against "These Boots Are Made for Stomping"; the Beach Boys' classic "Carolina Girls"; "I'm Nothing But a Hound Dog"; and "Ain't No Woman Like the One-Eyed Gott."


From the Hardcover edition.


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The title, as Dave Barry admits, is not entirely accurate. To be sure, this collection of articles does contain what the Pulitzer-Prize-winning author calls "an unusually high (for me) level of factual content." But there is also an abundance of goofy reportage, fart jokes (see "It's A Gas"), and Barry's long-overdue thoughts on natural childbirth.

From Publishers Weekly

Barry ( The Taming of the Screw ) is in top form in his latest collection of essays from the Miami Herald. He introduces readers to his teenage son, who rarely leaves his room except to demand new sneakers; to his two dogs, Earnest and Zippy, so fearsome to intruders that Barry had to install an alarm system; to certain Florida UFOlogists, who sound like prospective candidates for psychiatric study. There are several pieces about Barry's contest to pick the worst modern pop song, which drew 10,000 responses, with "MacArthur Park" the clear winner. Exceptionally good are the travel articles about China and Bimini. Other topics involve lefthandedness, the hazards of air travel (principally the other passengers) and masochistic consumers.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1558 KB
  • Print Length: 256 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0345440641
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books (July 7, 2010)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B003TSEEFM
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #209,814 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Dave Barry at his best. January 25, 2001
Format:Paperback
If you're already familiar with Dave Barry, all I need to say is that this book is unquestionably one of his best, along with "Dave Barry Talks Back", "Dave Barry Turns 40", and "Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need". If you aren't familiar with his work, all I can say is that he's one of the funniest writers I've ever encountered, and as long as you don't object to irreverence (read 'intentionally immature for effect') you will probably love his writing, too.
Ironically, this book contains my all-time favorite Dave Barry column, which happens also to be one of two of his columns I've ever read that are not humorous, but are decidedly serious. This column is "Uneasy Rider", the column about his twelve-year-old son having a semiserious bicycle accident; it is an immensely powerful description of what it feels like to be a parent in that situation. The book also contains the two or three columns that were the genesis of his later book, "Dave Barry's Book Of Bad Songs". If you have read that book, you'll have seen these columns, but if you haven't, you're in for a treat. (He runs a reader survey, and does two columns on the results, asking "what is the worst rock/pop song ever written?")
Marvellous book; I can't recommend it any higher.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Light and funny May 31, 2001
Format:Paperback
Being a huge Dave Barry fan, I had to read this book, and I was not disappointed. The book is a collection of columns he wrote, mostly from the early 1990's; presumably, these are his funniest and the ones that got the most responses from readers. And you'd be surprised the kind of responses he gets from readers, some of whom can't seem to grasp that Dave's columns are supposed to be funny.
I, unlike those readers, had no trouble finding the humor in this book. I've probably read it 100 times, and parts of it still crack me up. He writes mostly about unusual news stories sent in by "alert readers" regarding exploding toilets and other such oddities. Its format-short essays of about 2 or 3 pages each-makes it ideal for people with short attention spans, but others will enjoy it too. If you've never read a Dave Barry book, you need to start, and I'm guessing this one will help get you hooked.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars comedy at its best August 28, 2007
Format:Mass Market Paperback|Verified Purchase
I have read nearly all of Dave's books, and it never ceases to amaze me that he can be hilarious on each and every occasion. He doesn't duplicate any annecdotes, he simply uses his comic genius to make up new ones.. you will never be bored with Dave's ability to make you rush to the toilet to save wetting the floor, or laughing so hard you feel sick, and the back of your head hurts. This book is my favourite. Every story is funny, clever, and even sometimes sentimental. Please buy this one, you won't regret it. He's on top form.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I agree with the other reviewers April 5, 2004
Format:Paperback
If you have never read Dave Barry this is a wonderful place to start. The guy is hilarious and while I can respect say Dennis Leary it is nice to read a guy who can be funny without swearing every 5th word.
Highlights of this book include
Dave Barry goes to China
Dave Barry checks out Graceland
Dave Barry's list of the worst song ever
Overall-If you want to laugh get this now
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Dave Barry is 'Da Bomb... February 1, 2006
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I have yet to read a Dave Barry book I didn't like. Although I had already read some of the stories in previous books - they were still funny. I usually have to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 to keep from getting bored while walking on the treadmill, but this book had me laughing hysterically. Two thumbs, way up!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Truth Through Dave's Eyes December 2, 2000
Format:Paperback
I remember picking up this book on a whim, never expecting to be as taken with it as I ended up being.
Dave Barry is an original writer, and his takes on everything from consumerism to war are funny, and true! Everything that spews out of that man's pen ends up becoming a mental statement-- "Hey, I've thought that too!"
If anything, this book gets kudos for Dave's angst from being a lonely lefty peon in the world of right-handers ("Left-handers should not even be allowed to purchase a chainsaw"). As a fellow lefty, I about died laughing about Dave's lumberjack attempt, and his thinly-veiled "horror" about dying seven years earlier than the average right-hander.
In closing, this book is worth the purchase, and I guarantee it won't collect cobwebs on the shelf after reading it for the first (or second or third) time.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Mass Market Paperback
I can read three or four Dave Barry books in a row before I need to take a break. This is another solid hit and his fans will love it. Highlights include the two-part "Worst Songs Ever Recorded" and the stand-out expose on a UFO situation in Gulf Breeze, Florida.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars If you haven't read Dave Barry then .... February 24, 2003
Format:Paperback
this is the place to start. The book is a collection of his Miami Herald columns. Barry's hyperbolic style is on the money as he always gives razor sharp insight into ridiculous human behavior. You can't help but laugh at many of the stories while nodding your head in agreement.
If you have read Dave Barry, this book is one of his best works. A must read for Barry and non-Barry fans alike.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious Dave
Just as funny as I remembered from twenty years of reading his Boston Sunday Globe magazine column...book (first of his I've bought) more than worth the price.
Published 1 day ago by Edward Quinn
5.0 out of 5 stars Typically great stuff from the funniest author ever
Yep, I liked this book because it was funny. What else did you really need to know?

If you have never read Dave Barry, you're really in for a treat.
Published 23 days ago by Bruce W Kunkle
5.0 out of 5 stars Light-Hearted Reading Matter
A fun read. Lottsa laffs here. Based on previous newspaper columns over a time span. Particularly good are bits about parenting and foreign travel (Bimini especially mirth filled).
Published 2 months ago by Ross N. Tucker
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
He's always hilarious.
Published 3 months ago by Andy Solomon
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Classic laugh out loud Barry !
Published 3 months ago by barbara a.
5.0 out of 5 stars Still as funny!
I first read this 15 years ago and it still makes me laugh out loud. The broad scope of his talent is show cased in the sensitive and well-written recall of his son's bicycle... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Mike B.
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Dave Barry is always funny.
Published 4 months ago by lw
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny!
Dave Barry is hysterical. All of his books make great bathroom or waiting room reading. Just be ready to laugh out loud
Published 5 months ago by Jaclyn S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Dave is funny and observant
As always, Dave is funny and observant. He strikes the right funny bone without ever descending into unkindness or sarcasm. An enjoyable read.
Published 5 months ago by Hackamore
4.0 out of 5 stars Dave Barry
He is entertaining as always, taking day to day observations of life events and looking at them in a humorous light.
Published 6 months ago by Muniac
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More About the Author

The New York Times has pronounced Dave Barry "the funniest man in America." But of course that could have been on a slow news day when there wasn't much else fit to print. True, his bestselling collections of columns are legendary, but it is his wholly original books that reveal him as an American icon. Dave Barry Slept Here was his version of American history. Dave Barry Does Japan was a contribution to international peace and understanding from which Japan has not yet fully recovered. Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys is among the best-read volumes in rehab centers and prisons. Raised in a suburb of New York, educated in a suburb of Philadelphia, he lives now in a suburb of Miami. He is not, as he often puts it so poetically, making this up.

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