Customer Reviews

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs

5 star:		(49)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

Back in 1992, Dave Barry, in one of his syndicated newspaper columns, wondered why radio doesn't play more "good songs," and mentioned some of the songs he doesn't like, saying (among other things) that he wouldn't mind if radio stopped playing ballads by Neil Diamond. This column generated a heated response, with some readers defending Neil Diamond and some agreeing with Dave. Some readers also wrote to voice their opinions on artists and songs THEY didn't like. Realizing he'd struck a nerve, Dave announced the "Bad Song Survey," asking readers to write in and tell him which songs they really, REALLY hate. The response to this survey was so overwhelming, Dave compiled the top vote-getters as the achingly-funny "Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs". I haven't laughed so hard while reading a book in a VERY long time! In most cases, the comments by Dave, and numerous survey voters, are right on target.

In addition to the expected, much-maligned vote-getters like "MacArthur Park," "Muskrat Love," "Feelings" and "I Write The Songs," this book takes on a diverse group of songs which includes "American Pie," "I'm Too Sexy," "In The Year 2525," "Achy, Breaky Heart," "I've Never Been To Me," "The Candy Man," "Dreams of The Everyday Housewife" (This song was a big vote-getter in a section called "Songs Women Really Hate"), and many more.

No artist is impervious to this book's sword, not even Elvis ("Do The Clam") or The Beatles (the four-hour, er, minute "na-na-na-na" section of "Hey Jude".) Since so many songs are mentioned in this book, it's almost inevitable that a song or two which you happen to like, will be included here. For example, I like America's "A Horse With No Name," but even I have to admit that the lyrics quoted by Dave are pretty lame (I'd have included "Ventura Highway" instead, since it features the TRULY lame line about "Alligator lizards in the air".)

I agree with other reviewers who have said that this book is too short. Many songs that richly deserve to be included here (Cher's "Half-Breed" immediately comes to mind), are absent. Perhaps Dave could give us a sequel (or two.)

I'd never read a single Dave Barry book or column until I picked up this small, but ultimately powerful book. As a result, I'm a Dave Barry fan, and what's more, I now know that I am not the only person who thinks that "In the Year 2525" should be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Dave Barry didn't set out to write this book; it began as a column with reader participation for "Worst Songs." Dave's mailbag was flooded with replies, with people complaining about artists from many styles. Everyone from Neil Diamond to the Doobie Brothers gets it in this book...

It's critical to know that if you truly want to appreciate this book, you must have been exposed not just to "light rock," but also to 50s teenage tragedy songs, classic rock station fodder (look out Iron Butterfly), and the triad of Anka-Diamond-Manilow. If you can actually SING part of the songs in the book, it'll add to the laugh factor by at least 150%. I couldn't agree more when Dave points out the utter silliness of the lyric: "Song she sang to me, Song she brang to me." (Thank you, Neil Diamond) I heard this playing while waiting for a table at a local restaurant, and people must've thought I'd hit my head because I broke out in hysterics when I heard it play over the speakers...

Dave rips on everybody, so I don't recommend it if your loyalty to a group or singer is incredibly strong. Bear in mind that this isn't just Dave; it's leagues of hassled souls who will just go nuts if they even hear one note of "Muskrat Love."

It's inexpensive, easy to carry, and hilarious. This book will make you want to try his other titles, and you won't be sorry when you do! Like another reviewer said, who needs an ab machine when you've got this book??

Now I know how much of comedy is TIMING. This tape was HORRIBLE! What might have been funny if read by Dave Barry, or even if I read it myself (if I'd gotten the book), was root-canal-like painful read by Mike Dodge, whose delivery reminds me of every safety training video I've ever heard.

The producers must have known how un-funny his delivery made the material, as they even added "pa-da" drum staccatos to let us know when a joke was being made. If you love Dave Barry, DON'T buy this tape - it'll kill you to hear the material so butchered.

Oh my gosh...this book is the funniest thing I've ever read. I'm a musician, and happen to know nearly all of the songs this book talks about. Needless to say, if you don't know the songs, it isn't nearly as funny. It doesn't matter if you actually like the bad songs in the book -- you can still laugh at yourself, because Dave is right; the songs ARE stupid or cheesy or terrible. I've read the book at least 10 times and it is still funny every time I read it. Screaming with laughter, I have attempted to read this book to my family and friends -- multiple times. It's hard for them to understand it because I giggle so much, but then, they're laughing so hard they are crying. However, please DO NOT buy the audio tape version. I bought it to listen to in the car (so that I wouldn't get into an accident reading the book myself while driving) and was SO DISAPPOINTED. I don't know who they have reading the book, but he obviously is not familiar with Dave Barry or with any of the songs he is discussing. He reads as if he's never heard of the music before, mispronouncing the lyrics, speaking them in an incorrect rhythm, etc. Why couldn't Barry have read it himself? Buy the book (and make sure you've gone to the bathroom first before reading it or you'll wet your pants); trash the audiotape.

I bought this book on sight, and on the way home started reading it aloud for the benefit of the driver of the car. After a while, I was laughing so hard I could barely keep reading and my abdomen was aching from laughter. Not long after that, the driver pulled over because he was laughing, too.

This book will do your heart good (well, unless you're a Neil Diamond fan); seeing all those wretched songs dealt with as they deserve is a joy; the anecdotes from survey respondents are great, too. This book also gives me hope for the future of America, in view of Dave Berry's report that the antiperistaltic "In the Year 2525" gave rise to the most intense hatred of any song in the Bad Song Survey.

This book is an outgrowth of his "bad song survey", in which he asked readers of his column to write in with feedback as to what they considered the worst ever pop music songs. He received a flood of responses that easily enabled him to write two full columns on the subject, and still hadn't begun to scratch the surface. So he wrote this book, and almost the only drawback I find in this book is that it is too short; he STILL has barely begun to scratch the surface, but claims that immersing himself in thoughts of these bad songs was driving him insane and he needed to bring it to an end for the sake of his sanity.

First, let's define "Bad song": according to Dave, novelty songs don't count, because they're not SUPPOSED to be good, they're supposed to be funny (and even if they fail in that, they don't count for our purposes). So, for instance, "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha Ha!" by Napoleon XIV doesn't count, nor does "Mr. Custer" by Larry Verne. For much the same reason, (and here I disagree with him) Dave discounts all country music on the grounds that historically, the genre has tended not to take itself too seriously, having songs such as "Drop Kick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life", and thus as far as he's considered, he's willing to give the entire genre some slack and assume that any song with really dumb lyrics must be kidding. (I maintain that "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." by Tammy Wynette, and "Your Cheatin' Heart" by, I think, Hank Williams, are examples of country songs that certainly take themselves overly seriously and which are also sufficiently appalling that I'd rather listen to fingernails on a blackboard than listen to them.)

Another requirement for a song to qualify for the bad song survey & book is that it has to have had a LOT of airplay, and it also has to have that indescribable quality that forces your mind to remember it, against your every intention; it has to be the kind of song that if you had a lobotomy, or some other form of brain damage, sufficient that you could barely remember your own name, if this song came on the radio, you could still sing along with it, the kind of quality that causes you, if you hear it on the radio, to not be able to get it out of your head for WEEKS.

Granted, as Dave is quick to point out, this is a very subjective subject; many songs that have a strong showing in the survey, he actually enjoys, and there are those that I like as well. Undoubtedly, there will be songs that you actually like that show up in this book. Sometimes, however, even for the songs you like, you'll be forced to admit that the comments are justified, and in other cases, you'll just have to decide that some of the respondants to the survey have no taste. But the book is still a scream, and an absolute must for any fan of either Dave Barry's writing, and any fan of pop music.

"This book, like so many of the unpleasant things we encounter as we go through life, is Neil Diamond's fault." So begins Dave Barry's riotous "Book of Bad Songs" an extension of a highly popular column he wrote in 1992. After asking his readers to send in postcards detailing the songs they hated the most, Dave was astonished to receive over 10,000 replies, with votes still coming in to this day.

Realizing he had touched a nerve ("People were stopping me on the street, grabbing me by the shirt, and with cold fury in their eyes saying things like: 'You know that song about the pina coladas? I hate that song. I HATE IT.'") Dave devoted two columns to his bad song survey and eventually wrote this book, a celebration of some truly horrifying "music". Included here are the original winners of the survey, as well as special sections on "Teen Death Songs", "Song Women Really Hate" (such as the immortal Crystals' tune "He Hit Me and It Felt Like a Kiss") and "Weenie Music" (Barry Manilow features heavily in this chapter, as I am sure you can imagine). Hilarious from beginning to end, my only complaint about the "Bad Song Book" is that at less than 100 pages it feels a little slight.

One hundred pages though IS enough to generate an enormous amount of pain as we remember dreadful song after song (by the time he got to "You Light Up My Life" I had to briefly stop reading so I could roll around the floor, clutching my head), so maybe this kind of thing is better taken in small dosages. Rest assured that Dave suffered a lot more than we will, but as he says "I did it all for you. You you bo boo, bo nan fana fo foo, fee fie mo moo, you."

GRADE: A
(Extra points for the gleeful jabs at Gary Puckett.)

I was working, sitting behind the reference desk in a nice quiet public library when I picked this off the new-book cart. (Question: If you stifle your laughs with your hands over your mouth, do the laughs go out your ears?) I thought my head would explode! Not only are Dave Barry's comments about everything from "MacArthur Park" to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" to his mom's Plymouth Valiant station wagon hysterically funny, if you can, as another reviewer noted, sing the songs as you read, it's even funnier! And I agree with the assessment of anything by Gary Puckett! Don't miss this one, if you've ever listened to oldies on the radio.

...when you read this book. I first saw this book at a cousin's house where we'd gone after a family party. I picked it up to flip through while waiting for the coffee to brew and didn't put it down until I was finished. My family thought I was strange because I sat in the corner reading this book and laughing hysterically (OK they think I'm strange anyway but you get the point).
I was not a Dave Barry fan and had never read anything of his until this book but now I'm hooked. If you are a music fan you will appreciate his views on the absurdity of many lyrics. This book grew out of a column he wrote about bad songs/lyrics which generated the biggest reader response ever. From the intro (where he warns you that if you keep reading you're likely to have bad songs running around your head endlessly) he'll have you laughing out loud. You'll never listen to Neil Diamond the same way again. Interestingly enough, he had as many responses for as against Neil Diamond, both sides adamant in their views. Some of the letters he received are just as hilarious as Dave's writings. Everyone is fair game from pop, rock, 50's, even Paul Anka. Even if you're a fan of some of the artists he lampoons you'll have to laugh at his take on the lyrics. A close analogy would be that he's almost "Seinfeldesque" in his commentary, making you think about the lyrics in a way you never did.

When I first read this book, I hurt myself laughing. Then, because I'm evil, I gave it to my family and listened while they laughed themselves sick. If you know the songs of the '50s and '60s, this book is guaranteed to make you laugh. I'm an aging boomer and there is no better birthday gift for all my equally aging friends.