Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) [Hardcover]

Dave Barry (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 17, 2007

Thucydides, Gibbon, Tuchman, McCullough-to the names of the world's great historians must now be added the name of Dave Barry, who has taken a long, hard look at our new millennium (so far) and, when he stopped hyperventilating, has written it all down, because nobody would believe it otherwise.

In November 2000, the skies darken over Florida as hundreds of thousands of lawyers parachute into the state from bombers, while in 2002, the federal budget surplus mysteriously disappears ("Everybody looks high and low for it, but the darned thing is gone!"). In April 2003, no WMD have been found, but investigators do discover three barrels of lard, described by U.S. intelligence analysts as "a heart attack waiting to happen," while in 2004, an already troubled nation receives an even greater blow: the sight of Janet Jackson's exposed nipple. In 2005, Katrina, Cindy, Harriet, Martha, Valerie, Paris, Michael Jackson-women just got crazy that year-while in November 2006 . . . well, something happened; it'll come back to us.

Plus, an extra added bonus-Dave Barry's complete history of the millennium so recently (and unlamentedly) gone: Crusaders! Vikings! Peter Minuit's purchase of Manhattan for $24, plus $167,000 a month in maintenance fees! The invention of pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and of the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to somebody from Technical Support)!

Liberally illustrated with line drawings, filled with facts and commentary that will amaze your friends and confound your enemies (yes, we mean you, Osama!), this is the book that will finally earn Dave Barry his second Pulitzer Prize. And about darned time, too.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Although Barry retired his column in 2004, he continues to examine current events with his annual Year in Review surveys, and the ones he wrote between 2000 and 2006 are collected here. He opens with a 33-page outline of history (from 1000 to 1999) in which we learn that the first book Gutenberg mass produced in 1455 was Codpieces of Passion by Danielle Steel, and that computer pioneer Charles Babbage died in 1871, still waiting to talk to someone from Technical Support. In 2002, airline industry losses prompted America West, in a cost-cutting measure, to eliminate the cockpit minibar 2003: Jayson Blair, leaving the New York Times thoroughly disgraced, is forced to accept a six-figure book contract 2004: Abu Ghraib photos revealed soldiers repeatedly forcing prisoners to look at the video of Janet Jackson's right nipple 2006: Osama bin Laden released another audiotape, for the first time making it downloadable from iTunes. As a time line of humor, some of Barry's jokes were probably funnier the year they were written, but it's still a breezy and entertaining read. The 32 clever cartoon illustrations brighten the book's pages. (Sept. 17)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Humorist Barry offers a look at the new millennium thus far in this collection of the annual reviews that Barry offers through his newspaper columns. It consists of month-to-month commentary on the most outrageous events of the year—Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction, the "heck of a job" done by Michael Brown during Hurricane Katrina, the failure to find WMDs in Iraq—all delivered with Barry's hilarious look at the absurdities of American life. The book includes 32 line drawings that add to the fun, as well as a bonus look at history during the first millennium, from 1000 through 1999. Barry fans and readers looking for a lighter perspective on the history of world events will enjoy this book. Bush, Vanessa

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Putnam Adult; 1ST edition (September 17, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 039915437X
• ISBN-13: 978-0399154379
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (39 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #940,859 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

The New York Times has pronounced Dave Barry "the funniest man in America." But of course that could have been on a slow news day when there wasn't much else fit to print. True, his bestselling collections of columns are legendary, but it is his wholly original books that reveal him as an American icon. Dave Barry Slept Here was his version of American history. Dave Barry Does Japan was a contribution to international peace and understanding from which Japan has not yet fully recovered. Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys is among the best-read volumes in rehab centers and prisons. Raised in a suburb of New York, educated in a suburb of Philadelphia, he lives now in a suburb of Miami. He is not, as he often puts it so poetically, making this up.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Dave Barry, I fear, has lost his edge, September 20, 2007

By 

Jerry Saperstein (Evanston, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (Hardcover)

Dave Barry used to be hilarious. His comic novel "Big Trouble" is classic as are many of his columns. But maybe he's getting old. Maybe he's become jaded. One thing he has become is less funny.

"History" is a dud, in my opinion. It's just not funny.

Barry tries - and fails.

He gives us a capsule view of the years 1000 - 1999 and falls flat on his face with unfunny lines like "[Genghis] Khan and his descendants created a vast empire that ultimately encompassed all of Asia, Asia Minor, Asia Minor Phase II, and the Shoppes at Asia Minor Plaza." You might find it a gut-buster: I don't.

Barry goes on to cover the first six years of the new century. But the absurd wit and word play that marked his one-time column are missing.

For example: "In aviation news, SpaceShipOne, the first privately funded manned rocket, breaks free from its mother plane, soars sixty-two miles above the Earth, swoops gracefully back to Earth, rolls to a stop on the Mojave Desert, and files for bankruptcy." If there's fun, a joke, lurking in that line, I missed it.

Barry rides - to death - the Palm Beach voting fiasco of 2000. It doesn't work.

I hate to say it, but this is a Dave Barry book that didn't strike me as funny. Hopefully it's a one of a kind thing, like maybe the product of contract he's trying to get out of or something. Dave Barry's humor has brightened too many of my days to contemplate his losing his talent. Say it isn't so, Dave.

Jerry

17 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Being funny is hard work, October 4, 2007

By 

C. Wagner "cecilkunkle" (On the banks of the Wabash far away) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (Hardcover)

From the DJ: "No matter what challenges we face as a species- no matter what hurdles are placed in our way- somehow we always find a way, even in the darkest hour, to make things worse. It's a miracle, really. You read about the events of one year and you think, 'There's no possible way that human beings can get any stupider than that.' Then you read what we did the next year, and darned if we didn't pull it off!" Now, that's funny! Maybe you can imagine the media, school books, and your preacher are full of lies. Well, so is this book, but Dave Barry is supposed to be funny. It's not that Dave does not have a few hilarious "gotchas," but, for the most part, the book is a one trick pony. I am not making this up. Humor is hard work. But, hey, watch some Fox news and, then read a chapter. Maybe then you will laugh. The bottom line is: You will not laugh your socks off, but you will encounter some above average satire. As the author says: "Enjoy.."

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Somewhat Humorous History, November 20, 2007

By 

Loyd E. Eskildson "Pragmatist" (Phoenix, AZ.) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far) (Hardcover)

Dave begins by covering the first millennium, starting with the Y1K problem that caused parchment to malfunction by turning many words inside out. Then its the Chinese rise to power in 1083 (after stealing the plans for the cherry bomb and bottle rocket from the Los Alamos National Laboratory), the bubonic plague (not covered by HMOs), and the English mathematician Charles Babbage inventing the forerunner of today's computers in 1834 - he died in 1871, still waiting for Technical Support.

Eventually we arrive at Y2K to find all the experts wrong (electricity did not go out, planes didn't crash, and renegade ATMs did not roam the streets). Later in the year scientists found the only boy in the U.S. not being treated for ADHD. Etc., etc.

Barry's book is surprising detailed as far as the number of important events covered goes, even reporting V.P. Cheney's hunting accident and ending with NYPD surrounding a Burger King and firing 37 bullets into a man carrying a concealed Whopper with banned "trans-fat."

I'm assuming we'll be getting updates as the new millennium marches on.