Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need [Paperback]

Dave Barry (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 15, 1992

"[Dave Barry] is one of the funniest people ever to tap tap on a PC. This new book is a riot."
THE PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER
Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts, song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs, and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, here is all you really need to know about travel, including: How to Speak a Foreign Language in Just 30 Minutes Without Necessarily Having Any Idea What You Are Talking About; Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry; See the USA First! (While We Still Own Part of It), and more!

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Dave describes the dark side of tourism with such comical precision that you'll wonder why you ever bother to leave the safety of your living room. For my money, nobody has ever produced a better snapshot of the Baggage Carousel, "where passengers traditionally gather at the end of a flight to spend several relaxing hours watching the arrival of luggage from some other flight, which comes randomly spurting out of a mysterious troll-infested tunnel that is apparently connected to another airport, possibly in a different dimension."

From Publishers Weekly

A distinctly minor effort by the Miami Herald columnist and author of such previous successes as Dave Barry's Greatest Hits , this guide works too hard for comic effect. There are strained references to inedible airline food, a "Five Booger" ranking from the "Michelin Guide to How Snotty a Restaurant Is," Chicago as "The City with a Great Big Butt." There are tired gags, one involving the translation of a phrase about "the fish of your brother Raoul" and another about using the same map for downtown Vienna, London and Berlin. But the book is not completely devoid of laughs: "Akron: Meeting Yesterday's Challenges Tomorrow" is cited as a typical article from an airline magazine. There is a clever parody of a highway historical marker; and a discussion of the problem of locating a tree in Oregon that doesn't have an ecologist wrapped around it. The book, however, is hardly sidesplitting.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (September 15, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0449907597
• ISBN-13: 978-0449907597
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,231,878 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

The New York Times has pronounced Dave Barry "the funniest man in America." But of course that could have been on a slow news day when there wasn't much else fit to print. True, his bestselling collections of columns are legendary, but it is his wholly original books that reveal him as an American icon. Dave Barry Slept Here was his version of American history. Dave Barry Does Japan was a contribution to international peace and understanding from which Japan has not yet fully recovered. Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys is among the best-read volumes in rehab centers and prisons. Raised in a suburb of New York, educated in a suburb of Philadelphia, he lives now in a suburb of Miami. He is not, as he often puts it so poetically, making this up.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This must be Barry's funniest book..., April 13, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (Paperback)

I, like another reviewer below, was also introduced to Dave Barry through this book. It really is impossible to not laugh out loud while reading it. (Just thinking about it is making me laugh right now.) Some of the highlights of the book are Dave's summary of Walt Disney World ("do not fall out of the tram without first coming to a full and complete stop..."), his thoughts about flying and airports ("...in fact, when travelers aren't walking through the detectors, the security personnel use them to cook their lunch..."), and how to correctly fold a suit for packing (first, lay the suit on a flat surface, such as a tennis court...). Well, I guess I don't do justice to him. The innumerable charts and drawings only make you laugh even more. Be sure to read the Facts at a Glance for all the European countries.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best humour book ever written, September 6, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Estoril, Portugal) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (Paperback)

I have read this book 14 times in the last 5 years and I still laugh when I read it! I collect comic stuff since I remember existing and this book beats everything. Every time I travel I take it along with me and everyone that reads just a couple of pages is imediatlly laughing out loud. Dave Barry jokes on every conceiveble aspect of traveling and "hits the spot" each and every time. More than 5 sters

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Never leave home without it. Actually, never leave home., January 14, 2003

By 

E. A Solinas "ea_solinas" (MD USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need (Mass Market Paperback)

This is the ideal book for anyone who was been left frothing and screaming in a plane that is "experiencing technical difficulties," or someone who is being forced to view large wads of culture in a foreign city, or has been dragged to Disney World by a small child. Dave Barry unleashes his frustrated commentary on the travel world in general, in one of his most hilarious books ever. (In general, the more frustrated Dave Barry is, the funnier he is)

He goes over various details of travelling, such as proper travel planning, travel checks ("A Lot of People Never Figure Out How to Cash Them"), car rentals, luggage ("... will hold two pairs of socks PLUS your dental floss"), and bribing nuns. Then we handle foreign languages, and he gives you a few useful phrases like "Sacre moo! Ce EST mon CHAT!" ("Holy cow! This [the food] IS my cat!"). Then it's air travel, where Barry vents his spleen on airport security, airport food, small children on planes, and tips for kids on how to have fun with security personnel. Then it's time for family fun, at Disney World where cheerful employees will make sure you have fun, or else.

He also gives you tips on the fifty states of the US, useful info and plenty of trivia. (For example, the Florida state seal shows a mosquito with a machine gun, and Iowa's Official State Motto is "You Bet!") He also handles other North American countries like Canada (which has cold air masses) and Mexico (Unit of Currency: The Lambada). He also briefly forays to Europe, where he lampoons various countries in turn. (Instructions: How to use a bidet) Then it's staying in a hotel, and if that isn't awful enough, camping out.

If you have a deep-rooted hate of airport security personnel, or you hate camping, or you hate being shortchanged in Austria, then this book is for you. Keep on writing, Mr. Barry, but you may want to rethink the book tours...