David Letterman's Book of Top Ten Lists (Hardcover)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

From the man who needs no introduction but gets one every night anyway on NBC... er, I mean CBS: One-hundred-and-sixty-five Top Ten lists! We couldn't find a Top Ten about the Internet to share with you, but here's a list that comes close (and closer every day):

Top Ten Signs You Have a Bad Long-Distance Company

10. So-called "dial tone" is just a guy with a kazoo
9. Everyone you talk to sounds like the drive-through at Wendy's
8. All calls are ten cents for the first minute, $94 each additional minute
7. In the background of every call you make: giggling
6. When you tell the operator you're trying to call a friend in Vermont, she laughs and says, "Hey pal, this ain't the Jetsons!
5. No matter what number you dial, the same guy answers
4. They insist on being paid with "ass, gas, or grass"
3. Every time you pick up the receiver, dirty gray water pours out
2. They bill you for calls made by somebody named Pepe, and when you complain, they say, "Whatsa problem, man, you no like Pepe?"
1. Their slogan is "Reach out and touch yourself"

And, the book really does come with a special bonus set of plans for an end-table by Norm Stamper: it looks pretty solid.

Product Description

David Letterman's Book of Top Ten Lists and Zesty Lo-Cal Chicken Recipes

by David Letterman and the Late Show with David Letterman Writers

It's like watching TV -- with the added danger of paper cuts!

Top Ten Apologies to People Buying This Book:

10. Cheap glue will only hold the thing together for about six days.

9. Some kids sneaked into the printing plant and added the word "ass" to a lot of the lists.

8. It costs about a dime to print one of these babies -- now take a look at the retail price, sucker!

7. We're using the money we make to buy "little Dutch girl" outfits for Dave's poodles.

6. The book was hastily assembled overseas by jabbering foreigners who don't give a damn about you or your family.

5. A drunk maintenance guy fell into the press and parts of him appear on pages 68-87.

4. Felt safe making jokes about the Amish on TV; forgot some of them might actually see the book.

3. Dave insisted on writing some of these and we had to play along.
.
2. There is no remote control. Don't look for one.

1. The book ain't much better than the TV show.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 176 pages
• Publisher: Bantam; Illustrated. edition (October 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553102222
• ISBN-13: 978-0553102222
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #168,464 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Read and Reread, October 5, 2001

By	D "sub" (Metro Detroit, MI USA) - See all my reviews

Believe it or not, these top ten lists are funny enough to read and reread. For those of you like myself, who are Letterman fans, this collection, like all previous collections, borders on the essential. While perhaps not as "cutting edge" as the Late Night books, this is still a 5 star.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars True Hysteria, June 20, 2000

By	Curtis Lane (Orlando, FL USA) - See all my reviews

This book is hysterically funny. Letterman's top ten lists are one of the greatest fresh contributions made to comedy in a while. This collection include's such wonderful lists as: (my personal favorite) Top Ten Slogans For The New Wonder-Bra ("The Quicker Picker-Upper"), and "Top Ten Ways To Make Madonna Angry" ("Tell her you love the way she turns the letters on Wheel of Fortune.") Great funny book. Light and fun reading.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Chicken Recipes!, September 9, 1999

By A Customer

A great collection of the Top Tens! Hilarious