Customer Reviews

The Day I Went Missing: A True Story

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

The Day I Went Missing is a disturbing look into one woman's quest for self understanding through psycho-therapy, and the disaaterous results . Jennifer Miller had worked as a writer on various TV shows, was achieveing some measure of success but, sensed something was lacking in her life. Paul, a friend, suggested she see his therapist David Cohen. This new doctor-patient pairing is the beginning of Miller's decent into a confusing and expensive world of the weirdest therapy (and scam) encountered. There are numerous times when a red warning flags went up as I read this book, and I had a hard time understanding why this professional woman was so under the spell of Cohen. I was also very disturbed by the constant parent bashing on the part of the author, the unwillingness to move ahead and accept responsibility for her own emotional well being. It took guts to write this book, to lay bare the enormous deception Miller underwent. But it is very disturbing that the author seems to be more forgiving and even nostalgic for the manipulative and destructive influence of Cohen, even after seeing the full face of his deception.

Fascinating story of how a successful woman is completely brainwashed by her charismatic, morally bankrupt psychiatrist, but I was less moved than I would have thought. There is far too much "poor me" in here. Miller is whiny and it's extremely hard to be sympathetic towards her. Everything she does seems incredibly stupid and Miller never gives us real insight into why she does what she does. She's a comedy writer, but this autobiographical tale is utterly humorless.

i agree with both the high praise comments and the hated-it comments. she spends a bit too much time detailing her resume and inserting bits from her comedy act. it really detracts from the narrative in the beginning. even the asides about her family history got to be grating as the book went on, because the real fascinating stuff is with the "Dr. David Cohen".

but i ultimately found the book fascinating and hard to put down when it really got up and going. she holds off on the unveiling of the story till pretty late in the book and for a while i kept glancing at the jacket description of the book to figure out if something bad really WAS going to happen with this therapist.

unfortunately, the ending leaves you with too many questions. it seems strange that there wasn't more of an investigation into this guy... this was released a few years ago -- i need an update.

After a few chapters, I thought Jennifer was a social misfit, self-absorbed, and a human vortex of need and I don't think I was too far off about that. When she handed over large sums of money to her "therapist" I thought she was gullible to the point of insanity. What makes the book interesting is that she writes the way she had to have been thinking for this incredible story to happen. Like a car wreck on a busy highway, you keep reading chapter after chapter, hoping she'll wake up. She never does. Not ever. Sad.

I just finished this book and must say that I couldn't put it down. Anyone who jumps to criticize Ms. Miller for falling for Dr. Cohen's con game didn't read the book very carefully. The author had clearly spent her life devoid of love and human connection. She was quite honest about her upbringing and I thought made it very clear that despite her parents' serious shortcomings, she forgave them and understood that they did the best they could. She merely offered this family history and the anecdotes to highlight the reasons this man was able to manipulate her. He offered unconditional, nurturing love, something she'd never experienced before. Many people justify horrible abuse, lying, cheating and stay in horrible relationships because they are weak and afraid of being alone. I don't applaud her weakness, I simply understand the reason for it. Her story was stranger than fiction, her book was fascinating.

OK, so at first I felt Jennifer was being way too hard on her parents. Maybe they couldn't love her the way she needed to be loved, which left her searching and wallowing in misery. But that doesn't mean she should have been taken by the disturbing, manipulative David. He recognized that she was completely defenseless against him so he took her for all he could. Such a soul-less man. Too bad Jennifer ever met him. I found I couldn't put this book down until I finally reached the end because I so needed to have David pay for what he did. It was a difficult read because I could certainly feel how she was suffering, but I'm sure it will serve as a cautionary tale for other searching women. Good job, Jennifer. Hope I see your name on some great sitcom credits.

i'll try to be brief with this review, as that was my major criticism of this book - miller went on and on and on and on, forcing me to skim major parts of the book, with no apparent loss on my part of content or story.

strongest point: a terrifying, powerful story of how this woman, due to her vulnerability and emotional need, got SUCKED into a horrible con by her disturbed therapist, who maximally exploited the inevitable power dynamic in the therapeutic relationship for his own needs.

other strong points: 1) at times she's a very strong writer, and interesting. 2) it was fascinating to watch her grow emotionally throughout the book, as she herself noticed, in spite of the viciousness of her therapist. 3) this book is a FASCINATING case study (and was recommended to me by a psychologist friend of mine). 4) this is a wonderful primer, (at least for THERAPISTS like myself - i'm one too...) on EXACTLY how NOT to do therapy, and to see how little things that many therapists do look if taken to the extreme...

weak points: i didn't care two bits about all her successes as a writer. i felt she was trying to talk herself up as a competent person by writing about that whole aspect of herself, and i felt it detracted strongly from the book, waded it down in a morass of dullness. it could/should have been GREATLY condensed. i see this book as a 130-150 page book, as that is how much i actually read. i more or less skipped the whole middle section of the book, with no loss...

last interesting thought: i am always suspect of someone who writes about such personal experience, to be shared with the general public. my feeling is that the author, strangely not unlike her therapist, is trying to exploit herself and her own emotional story for purposes other than her own emotional growth. granted, i'm glad she wrote the book, as her story helps me, but i still strongly question her use of her own personal life to further her "writing career".

Granted, hindsight is 20/20, and it is easy to judge certain situations from the outside, but one honestly has to wonder why Jennifer Miller at some point did not step outside herself, shake her own shoulders, throw some cold water in her face, and say "wake up!" By the end of the book, I felt just as confused as she did. There is a lack of closure. Is David dead? Was he murdered? Did he have cancer? What about the mysterious woman who was his wife/girlfriend/accomplice/lover? His friends Angelo and Janet? I wanted more explanation of these things. However, I suppose when you don't fully understand something yourself, you cannot fully explain it to others.

Enjoyed the book immensly. I was sucked in by David also, but could see it coming and kept thinking "certaintly jennifer will put it to a stop now. surely she'll listen to her inner voice". Scary that there really are people out there like this.

I couldn't put _The Day I Went Missing_ down. It helped me more deeply understand my wife's harrowing experiences of misplaced trust that she wrote about in _Bitter Persimmons_. It helped me look at my own need and vulnerability. I think that the angry negativity expressed by some readers of Miller's book (which my wife has also been a target of) indicates how scared our society is of deep loneliness that can't be simply given the label of depression and put in a box.